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You're an idiot, and you're either intentionally lying or you're very, very stupid.
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ClubbedSeal (ClubbedSeal)

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Homer: Well, the evening began at the Gentleman's Club, where we were
discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.

Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.

Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Ya
happy?

The Springfield Files