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Hilarious to watch her foaming and shouting her blind ignorance to the void. She's like a chihuahua.
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my experience at a swingers club

Submitted by Kracka at 2006-11-12 17:48:52 EST
Rating: 1.77 on 19 ratings (19 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

So I visited my first swingers club Friday and I must say it wasn’t anything like I expected it to be. First off let’s just say the company I had with me was cool. She is an uberers pseudo girlfriend. And I have to say it was fun.

We first went to the front to ask the doorman what all goes on. He then goes into a 5 minute story of all the things that go on and if anything if you go in you will at least come out with a story. Even if you don’t do anything. I had to have a story…so did she. So we walk in and start looking around. Things seem very clean and not at all sleazy like I expected a swingers club to be. The “bar” was at the front right when you walk in. I say “bar” because they only serve juice, water, towels and condoms. No alcohol as there is full nudity in the place. As we walk around we notice the couples only area and a bouncer standing there. He asks if it is our first time there and we say yes because it is. He then informs us of all the rules that go on.
1) There is a 3 foot rule. You can watch anything that is going on but you must stay at least 3 feet away unless invited to join in. if some tells you that you are too close you either move back or get kicked out and never can return.
2) Women have the final say. Even if married if he guy says yes and she says no the no wins.
3) You can only invite someone to join you in the VIP lounge. Which couples are always VIP and singles can upgrade to the VIP.
That was about it for the rules. Then we were told that there was a tour going to start in a couple of minutes and we should take that.

The tour was cool. There is a lot of vinyl/rubber in this place. I guess it makes for easy clean up. Most of the rooms had doors that locked and had windows that if you had the light on people could see in and if you had the light off you could see out. There were also a ton of sex swings. They all had pictures on the wall next to them so the men would know what to do and wouldn’t have to read as the tour guide put it. We visited all the areas down stairs and then headed to the VIP lounge.

Upstairs was very different. There were a lot more open areas and also a lot more swings of different types. They also had an examining table that moved up and down with foot pedals and a examining chair with stirrups and foot pedals to adjust the seat up/down and back/forth.

We then visited the dungeon room which was cool looking. We were told that if you see someone come in with a big gym bag they were probably heading there and going to do about an hour to 2 hour show. Also we were told the dungeon room has the only swiveling stripper pole and that all poles were use at your own risk. Eeewww. Was all I could think.

We then went to the room that I don’t think anyone really goes in. it was the golden shower room. It was a big bathroom. There were a bunch of toilets and a couple of showers. There was also a doctors table in this room. The funny thing was the guide said “this is where the golden showers take place…..if you are even into that kind of thing.”
He said that room was rarely used and if you wanted to go in there it has a lock on the door and most people don’t visit it anyway so it is a good hideaway. I am thinking that that was weird because if you are really going to a place like that I am thinking you probably want to be watched, that is just my opinion. That basically ended the tour. We were shown where all the bathrooms were which most of them were unisex and where the unisex showers were and locker rooms. We were also told it is a clothing optional place which was evident when we walked in 3 women passed us 2 with nothing but towels on around their waist and one female with nothing on and a towel on her shoulder.

Not much was going on while we were there. They only thing that happened was a girl was giving a guy a blowjob in the Jacuzzi area. We were told it was early. We went at about 11 pm. We were told that it gets jumping between 12:20 and 3. during that time there are about 75 to 100 couples not counting the single men and women. Overall it was a cool experience and I got a cool glow in the dark keychain/bottle opener. Don’t worry Uberer whose pseudo girlfriend I went with nothing happened that she didn’t want. As I said before she has final say. I will say that after we left we were both tired and hungry.

phuzzyistillloveyou.jpg (image/pjpeg 180729 bytes)

Review This Item




Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-11-13 19:48:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I called it yesterday - MANDINGO!

Submitted by Crystle at 2006-11-13 14:50:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by GetNakeddd at 2006-11-13 13:12:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by GetNakeddd at 2006-11-13 13:11:59 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This was poorly writte, but the story was alright
Learn how to tell a story, cotdammit!!!

But I still love you. You're the only other black person here

Submitted by creep_firebombing at 2006-11-13 06:26:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

And the location and name of said place?

Submitted by phuzzygish at 2006-11-13 01:46:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm curious as to the shape of the bottle opener.

Submitted by Phinch at 2006-11-13 01:16:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by locksly at 2006-11-12 23:13:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-11-12 20:45:15 (#)
Ranking: 0

Ehh, so much more could have been done with this.

(worth reading)
What more can be done with an honest and informative story?

Submitted by KindaNews at 2006-11-12 20:48:05 EST (#)
Rating: 0

In my experience, a large percentage of those who frequent swinger's clubs are not at all the people one desires to see undressed, let alone fucking and sucking.

If you walk in and you're the most attractive couple there, leave.

You want to trade up.

Submitted by Doodles at 2006-11-12 20:45:15 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Ehh, so much more could have been done with this.

(worth reading)

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2006-11-12 20:41:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Has to be said, so I'll do it. Given the title, this was really boring. So basically you went to a swinger's club and looked around a bit at the nothing that was happening. I was expecting to read about a series of humorous events which occured at said club. Instead you went in, walked around, saw some pee room, and left. Yawn!

Having said that, have a +2 because I hear that you are a black fellow and I don't want to be "that guy" and break your streak and incur your "black rage". I'm mighty scared of the black rage.

Submitted by rad1101 at 2006-11-12 20:28:34 EST (#)
Rating: 2

without reading this the green door sucks ass

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2006-11-12 20:18:17 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 filename

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2006-11-12 20:14:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'm not even going to make a joke about Kracka scaring away all the white dudes...

Wait... Did I just... Aw man.

Submitted by Siren at 2006-11-12 19:41:30 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Awesome. I'm way too much of a jealous bitch to go there with my baby daddy.

Submitted by extacy_red at 2006-11-12 18:37:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by Lisa at 2006-11-12 18:18:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

We then went to the room that I don't think anyone really goes in. it was the golden shower room.


I think I'm open-minded about sex, but I'd probably have to be high to go to a swingers' club.

Submitted by whiskey_jack at 2006-11-12 18:17:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hmmm intriguing. Kracka giving out the chocolate livin.

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2006-11-12 18:04:48 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Pfft. Now you tell me.

-- Homer Simpson, finding out that working at a nuclear
plant can make one sterile
I Married Marge