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I Played Chicken with a Pedal Car…and Lost.

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-10 09:19:18 EST
Rating: 1.89 on 33 ratings (33 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

When I was a little girl, I was really tough. I’d jump off the garage twice a week and effortlessly tuck and roll to safety. When I did get hurt, it was because a branch was in my way, or I landed too hard on my head. Even then, I’d just have my dad apply the Neosporin and Charlie Brown stickers, and head right back out. I had a death wish that I couldn’t explain, and it often got me in trouble.

When I was six, I also had a bit of larceny in my blood. You see, back in ‘87 everything was cool. McDonalds would give away these great toys in their happy meals, like small kites, remote control cars, and plastic records that would tell you if you won a free trip to Space Camp. For cartoons, we had Transformers, G.I. Joe and Rainbow Brite. We had the clothes, which I could spend hours talking about…and we had Teddy fucking Ruxpin.

Kid’s like me were groomed to want it all. And we usually killed out parents trying to get it. Sooner or later, we got what we wanted, but it was never enough. There was a certain status that you could only get by having something new or special. I wasn’t immune to its power. So begins my story.

It was a lazy Saturday and I was running around the neighborhood looking for something to do. During the course of my travels, I eyed a mature 8 year old, who was selling throwing stars.

They were folded with perfection and looked as dangerous as the real thing. Some even had crayon Lightening bolts drawn on them. I didn’t just want one. I needed to know their secrets. I decided to get two. One for throwing, the other to take apart and analyze.

Of course, I didn’t have enough money. That was a problem.

I was desperate. I started studying the boy. He would sell his stock (usually two or three stars) and then run behind my neighbor’s house. Moments later, he would come back with more. It was obvious what he was doing…even to a 6-year-old. The bastard had a hidden stash. Evidently, he feared muggers. He should have feared a certain budding ninja named Ally.

Walking stealthfully I followed the boy on one of his return trips, ducking behind a bush when he would look back, then sliding along the house when he resumed walking. Fearing discovery, I got low to the ground with my palms flat against the shingles. Then I crept—in short, deliberate strides. It wasn’t long before I heard the rustle of a plastic and paper. Entirely in the moment, I pulled my hair over my nose and mouth so I would have ninja eyes. Then I waited. After digging out a few stars, the boy replaced the bag and wandered around in his hiding spot—apparently trying to fool any onlookers from the street. After a few turns he finally left.

In a flash, I flew from behind my bush and started looking around the tree. Then I saw it, a bag of throwing stars—at least a dozen, hidden in a hole under a few twigs. With no shame in my heart, I seized it and took off. I would have flown through the treetops if I had studied my wirework, but still made sufficient time along the ground, sprinting behind houses and hopping over fences. Eventually I made it to my house with the bounty in hand.

Now, let’s get something straight. I wasn’t the most experienced thief. If I had spent any time on the craft, I would have known that you hide out after you pull a job. What you don’t do is make a throwing star necklace and wear it in front of the victim. I did, and my prey wanted blood.

While I flaunted my ninja apparel in the setting sun, the boy had gone to his house and nabbed the infamous peddle car. Just as he was getting in, I turned and made eye contact. Time stopped. It was just me staring up the hill at the boy, who stared back with supreme hate in his soul.

My thoughts then turned to the necklace I was fingering in my right hand and I knew what he intended. I quickly grasped it and held it up smiling. The boy started peddling.

I walked off the sidewalk and into the middle of the street. I took the necklace off and held it in the air. He sped up.

I didn’t know chicken was before this moment. If anything, it was probably a vague notion in the back of my mind with no meaning behind it. Suddenly I knew what it meant and I wasn’t moving.

Halfway down the hill, he was zooming. I could see his body list back and forth as he peddled, and with each yard he gained, his listing became more pronounced. Still, I stood my ground. I don’t think I was necessarily brave, or that I thought I was invincible…I was just naive. I thought he would move first.

I guess he thought the same thing.

In a blink, he went from halfway down the hill to impact. He took out my legs and I went straight over the top of the car, flopping like a doll on the pavement. Being run over is a mystifying experience. At first, you wonder how the hell you’re body didn’t stop the car; then you wonder how you survived.

Still dazed, I rolled over and watched the boy speeding away. A hit and run. He must have thought he killed me or something because he never stopped peddling. He took the corner at the end of the street and was gone.

I rolled back and stared at the reddish sky. Instinctively, I started stretching my legs. They worked, but I had a tear in my skirt and a busted lip. After a half hour like that, I sat up and walked home.

Looking back, I had done well. I didn’t break anything and I had probably performed the coolest stunt a 6-year-old girl could do. Still, it was a sad lesson to learn--that I was no match for inertia and speeding boys.

If it means anything, I dissected those stars and learned how to make them. Then I started giving them away for free. I hope the little fucker went bankrupt.







If you guys want to make some, I found a link that shows how to do it.

http://www.folds.net/tutorial/models/shu_2_piece/shu_2_piece_diagrams.html

They are great for around the office. Hard to aim, but very sturdy.




starofdeath.jpg
starofdeath.jpg


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Reviews


Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2007-09-05 16:04:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by experima at 2007-02-26 23:44:46 EST (#)
Rating: 2

+2 from me.

Submitted by Cakes at 2007-02-26 23:20:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2007-02-17 15:53:24 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-13 22:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-03-11 08:10:38 (#)
Ranking: 2

FINALLY!!! You're back. This was awesome. I love you. More more more!!!!!!!!
*****************************

I agree. You are pretty damn awesome. I wish nothing but okay things for you...which may not sound like much, but is actually a HUGE step up from the neverending fiery rectal agony I wish on most people.

===========================================

Considering my last post, are you sure you didn't wish a teensy eency bit of FRA on me?

Submitted by hot_pocket at 2007-02-17 15:30:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

like a true ninja

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-23 20:21:07 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Back atcha 'bonger :)

Submitted by Unabonger at 2006-03-23 19:35:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

y hellllllo thar!

Submitted by thecaes at 2006-03-13 22:40:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-03-11 08:10:38 (#)
Ranking: 2

FINALLY!!! You're back. This was awesome. I love you. More more more!!!!!!!!
*****************************

I agree. You are pretty damn awesome. I wish nothing but okay things for you...which may not sound like much, but is actually a HUGE step up from the neverending fiery rectal agony I wish on most people.

Submitted by PrevertEnabler at 2006-03-12 09:10:42 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Fucking Teddy Ruxpin. My parents got me the generic version: Gabby Bear.

Submitted by Wisher at 2006-03-11 08:10:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

FINALLY!!! You're back. This was awesome. I love you. More more more!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Stagger_Lee at 2006-03-11 07:31:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This amused me greatly.

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2006-03-10 20:38:12 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Badass.

You're --> <-- this close to bookmark/must read status.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2006-03-10 18:04:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

kewlness

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-03-10 16:22:55 EST (#)
Rating: 2

One more time

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-03-10 16:22:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Damn - these posted as 0. Sorry dear.

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-03-10 15:07:38 EST (#)
Rating: 0

If you join us at the mini Ubercon Chicago this weekend and buy me a beer we'll call it even?

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-10 14:06:33 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Not for all the dick in China.

Submitted by MyTeeOne at 2006-03-10 14:02:50 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You...I've spent the last 20 years looking for you. GIMME BACK MY STARS!

Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart at 2006-03-10 13:37:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I'll do that next then. These 4x4 squares are tiny. And I've already lost one behind a cabinet.

I love arts and crafts, reminds me of last year when I was in kinde... umm, heh.

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-10 13:30:23 EST (#)
Rating: 0

In the diagrams they say you should use a 4 x 4 square. I disagree.

I always used an 8 x 8. Just take a piece of notebook paper and snip 3 inches off the top.

Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart at 2006-03-10 13:21:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I just spent a good half-hour making a throwing star. Getting the last flap in at the end was a pain in the ass, especially when it's so tiny... I thought throwing stars were supposed to be bigger?

Submitted by Kale at 2006-03-10 12:39:35 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by pen_name at 2006-03-10 10:40:38 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-10 10:05:56 EST (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.buyoldtoys.com/forsale/pedal/images/MVC-410F_JPG.jpg

That's close to the one that hit me...only it was black with white stripes.

Submitted by Berty at 2006-03-10 10:02:04 EST (#)
Rating: 1

s'alright.

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-10 09:56:28 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 09:52:50 (#)
Ranking: 2

I liked this story...but what's a peddle car?

____________________

I'm an idiot. I checked google and its spelt pedal. Word didn't pick it up. Ah well.

Anyway, a PEDAL car is a toy car that you...pedal. Here a picture of one:

http://rutgerbooy.nl/Magnette%20pedal%20car.jpg


Submitted by phuzzygish at 2006-03-10 09:52:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Beautiful.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2006-03-10 09:52:50 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I liked this story...but what's a peddle car?

Submitted by simple_catalyst at 2006-03-10 09:37:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

auto childhood nostalgia +2!

Submitted by dedre at 2006-03-10 09:36:42 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Cute story. I love ninja stars, I used to flick them at people in radar rooms on our ship. They were not amused.

Submitted by ghola at 2006-03-10 09:35:45 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i think you are a wonderful human being

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2006-03-10 09:30:03 EST (#)
Rating: 0

If I knew what that was, I would have given it a shot.

Submitted by beatjunky at 2006-03-10 09:28:47 EST (#)
Rating: 0

nEEDE3D MORE poobumwillyskinnering.


Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it
gas? It's gas, isn't it?

-- Homer Simpson
Fear of Flying