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Thoughts On Gay People

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2005-10-13 18:19:54 EDT
Rating: 1.3 on 34 ratings (34 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Yesterday I was standing on the balcony of my apartment, looking in to the courtyard below, with my elbows resting on the broken wooden railing, a menthol cigarette burning between my fingers, and at least two liters of Pabst swimming around in my guts, talking to my roommate David about thoughts I have on why gay people behave the way they do.

We were talking about Steve. Steve is the name of a twenty year old gay guy we both know. Steve is very effeminate. He likes money a lot and pretty much everything he says is about money or things money can buy like fast cars and nice homes. He takes good care of himself… applies face cream to his face after a shave, keeps dirt from under his finger nails, brushes his teeth with whitening toothpaste and wears expensive clothes and expensive cologne. I only know that his clothes are expensive because, one night, when Steve was over, he said, “these cloths are expensive.” He also mentioned the cost of his cologne. He said, “doesn’t it smell good?” I wouldn’t know these things otherwise, because I think about different things than Steve does.

On the balcony, David my roommate asked, “do you think he’s always been girly like that?” I said:

“No.”

“Well, when did he start, do you think, haha, I mean…”

“Probably shortly before or after he told everyone that he was gay,” I said.

“So you think he like, TURNED that way or something, haha.”

“Gay or effeminate?”

“Effeminate or whatever,” he said.

I took a drag of my smoke and said, “probably.”

“So like, I mean… I guess I don’t get it… I mean.” And then I explained to him my thoughts on gay people.

*****

Gay guys, most of them, are insecure idiots who afraid of being themselves. So are flaming straight guys… many of them. And girls. It irritates me more with gay guys because I’m gay too. When a gay guy tells everyone he’s gay, he begins the process of self-acceptance. For me, and I’m assuming for many other gay people, it was a long battle against shame, that ended in acceptance (even pride). The gay guy, he asks himself, “who AM I?” Likely, with little or no role models, the idiot-type gay guy looks to see what other gay people are doing, and he models that behavior. He doesn’t know he’s doing it… he just does, because he’s an idiot and idiots are less self-aware. And to this idiot, the only gay people out there are the visible gay people. He doesn’t know that the “straight-acting” police officer or lawyer, or coffee slinger or writer is gay because he’s “straight-acting.” He also believes that he has joined a community of people who all act the same, and he finds security in this. So he finds an answer to the question “who AM I.” His answer is: “I’m GAY.” And to the fucking idiot, being gay is more than just being attracted to members of his own gender. Being gay is acting like a girl, obsessing over aesthetics, buying expensive things to compensate for that big empty black fucking hole that is his lack of ability to have one single independent thought. To make a choice and stand behind it, even when people disagree. The idiot is a slave. He is a slave to what he thinks is expected of him.

“And,” I said to David, “there are some gay guys who aren’t afraid of being themselves. They are just naturally more effeminate than most other guys.”

“Hehe,” he said.

“Yep,” and then I finished my beer and went to bed.

Murphy


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Submitted by icarus1987 at 2005-10-14 13:02:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Not bad! Would have been clichee... but then you threw in the introspective bit in the middle, so it balanced out.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-10-14 12:44:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Probably because you're gay and none of "them" will pay attention to you, TW.

Submitted by TW at 2005-10-14 12:38:50 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Not a bad post till you said you were a fag too.

I fucking hate fags.


Submitted by loki at 2005-10-14 12:24:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

interesting

I have several thoughts on this, none of which I can formulate into coherent sentences so I’m going to give this a +2 and move on.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-10-14 12:21:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Extremely poignant and well written. For a mo.

Submitted by William_Q_Percy at 2005-10-14 12:02:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

What I don't understand is how gay couples always seem to be made up of one that is masculine and one that is feminine.

Seriously... does confroming even a little bit to social expectations make it a little more bearable to be someone that isn't considered "normal"?

I've always wondered if the bull-dyke lesbians and super feminine gay guys finally let down their acts when they get home at the end of the day.

Submitted by Herpes at 2005-10-14 12:01:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

...and the same thing could be said for straight people.

Submitted by sideshow at 2005-10-14 10:41:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

nice explanation

Submitted by One4TheRoad at 2005-10-14 09:04:45 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Genius.

Submitted by hairycoo at 2005-10-14 06:17:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

interesting thoughts

Submitted by Berty at 2005-10-14 04:47:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The sentiment, as you quite rightly say, applies to more or less everybody ("Everybody in the world is bent" ha ha) not just gay people. It's a little unfair to put such an edge on the words though.

Life is lonely. We all spend our lives pining for something or someone, none of us wants to be alone and we'll all grasp at any straw if we think we won't have to be alone, even for a moment.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-10-14 04:11:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-10-14 00:31:21 (#)
Ranking: 2

There's also the point of, more or less, if everyone can immediately tell they're gay, specifically other gay guys, then the gays will know he's on the team just from looking at him and will know that he's fair play, because every gay guy worries about hitting on a straight guy.


I'm gay and don't act effeminette whatsoever. I find that gay guys don't guess I'm gay and then, unsurprisingly, don't bother coming onto me. """

OMG YOU HEARD THAT HERE FIRST TOO!

<ejaculates with all the gayness floating around>


Submitted by apollo88 at 2005-10-14 04:09:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-10-13 23:28:39 (#)
Ranking: 2

i live in a gay part of town in probably the second gayest city in the world"""


you heard it here first ladies and gentlemen.


Submitted by Spooner at 2005-10-14 00:31:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

There's also the point of, more or less, if everyone can immediately tell they're gay, specifically other gay guys, then the gays will know he's on the team just from looking at him and will know that he's fair play, because every gay guy worries about hitting on a straight guy.


I'm gay and don't act effeminette whatsoever. I find that gay guys don't guess I'm gay and then, unsurprisingly, don't bother coming onto me.

Submitted by ThatOneGirl at 2005-10-14 00:13:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Both Murphy and Lisa........ those are extremely coherent arguments. I'm floored.

Submitted by Lisa at 2005-10-13 23:53:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I view sexual orientation as a continuum, instead of individual slots. One end for pure attraction to the opposite sex, the opposite for absolute attraction to the same sex, and the middlemost point for an equal attraction to members of both sexes. Most people probably fall in the gray zone, whether they like to admit it or not. Labelling yourself or other people as straight or gay is capricious. Gay women and straight men alike will from time to time find themselves subtly attracted to certain men. When you define your sexuality with a prefix, you're binding it with arbitrary limits, and once you stray outside those limits, you owe society an explanation. As true as I think this is, it doesn't bother most people because we aren't ready to embrace sexual openness. Humans seem to need classifications in order to keep their thoughts organized, so we develop rules for the most personal subjects as physical and emotional intimacy. When it comes down to it, you want who you want, you love who you love, and the only unwavering boundaries outlining your attraction to other human beings are imagined.

Submitted by iddqd at 2005-10-13 23:28:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

excellent post. overly effeminate gays give me the shits. i live in a gay part of town in probably the second gayest city in the world, but i just cant get over guys who talk in that lispy, high pitched voice and behave like girly morons. ok, youre gay, we get it, bully for you. thats your choice and i honestly respect that, and respect you exactly the same as any other human being, however, you DONT need to put on some voice to 'prove' that youre gay. my mothers circle of friends when i was a kid were basically ALL gay guys and NONE of them spoke with this accent. they were just dudes who lived their lives and 'acted' like 'normal' people (if you get what i mean by that). they didnt feel the need to shout to the world their sexual choices; they were unashamed of their choice and their lifestyle, but they didnt feel the need to go out every day and be as 'gay' as possible just so everyone knew it.

'acting' gay is bullshit. be who you are, not who you think people expect you to be. that stereotype is just that: a stereotype, and purposely putting casting yourself as a stereotype is just stupid.


Submitted by Lisa at 2005-10-13 23:06:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

God, I love your writing.

Submitted by celine at 2005-10-13 20:04:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Excellent analysis of the application of "Hot Topic Syndrome" in a different environment.

Submitted by shandythedog at 2005-10-13 19:42:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

here in australia we have the sydney mardi gras which is quite a big deal, and there is a lot of talk about gay 'pride' which in one sense i can understand, due to the history, but in another sense is absurd: what is there to be proud about? what does it matter where you prefer to stick your dick?

what you say about gays conforming to stereotypes also reminded me of another thought i had watching the mardi gras: if some fellow was a lost soul, the sort of chap who would be vulnerable to joining the hari krishnas or some such cult, i wondered if the 'gay community' would hold a similar appeal. membership of the gay community seemed to offer instant friendship, sex, a sense of belonging, pride and as you say an 'identity'. so i wondered if people sometimes actually became 'gay' for these reasons rather than some imperitive sexual drive.

Submitted by ruthless at 2005-10-13 19:36:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

"And," I said to David, "there are some gay guys who aren't afraid of being themselves. They are just naturally more effeminate than most other guys."



Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2005-10-13 19:34:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I know there are many people who fit the stereotype, but I'm still disturbed (I'm a straight woman) by reading "most gay men are insecure idiots" whether a gay person wrote it or not. Just like a woman saying "all women are bitches" doesn't make it true. If you know it isn't the case and makes gays seem all one-dimensional & shallow, why feed it? But then, you also threw 'many straight men' and 'girls' into that category. So I guess what you meant was that you think this about just about everyone?

Submitted by kai070169 at 2005-10-13 19:31:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Did it ever occur to you that some people - both men and women, straight AND gay, are just efemminate in nature? Certainly it MAY be a choice in some instances, but just maybe they LIKE the way they are? WHo the fuck are you to judge?

Seems to me that you have self concept issues yourself, especially when you compare yourself to your better coiffed associates... does griping about others make you feel that much better?


Submitted by lordofthedance at 2005-10-13 19:25:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I've always wondered about that myself.

Submitted by mattnotharry at 2005-10-13 19:14:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Interesting

Submitted by indoninja at 2005-10-13 19:14:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by TweakinIan (user info) at 2005-10-13 19:06:50 (#)
Ranking: 2

My sentiments exactly.
Why do gays have to act different?
It's like they DON'T want to be accepted.

Like they don't have enough problems with the insane right-christian assholes in America.

------------------------

Why do black people from middle class families talk in ebonics?

Submitted by JonnyX at 2005-10-13 19:13:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Being gay is acting like a girl, obsessing over aesthetics, buying expensive things to compensate for that big empty black fucking hole that is his lack of ability to have one single independent thought.
---------------
no, being gay is getting raunched up the fudge tunnel by another man, and having him spooge into your big empty black fucking-hole....

Submitted by mles76 at 2005-10-13 19:07:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good points

Submitted by TweakinIan at 2005-10-13 19:06:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

My sentiments exactly.
Why do gays have to act different?
It's like they DON'T want to be accepted.

Like they don't have enough problems with the insane right-christian assholes in America.

Submitted by whataefag at 2005-10-13 19:01:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by CookieLass at 2005-10-13 18:52:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Zoid was wondering where you ran off to.

Submitted by Snypavat at 2005-10-13 18:40:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Excellent opinion.

Submitted by trent_nz at 2005-10-13 18:25:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hmm interesting, although I don’t agree completely i think you raise some valid points about the mentality of homosexual individuals

Submitted by Yes at 2005-10-13 18:23:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

just like college.


Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? No. Lumber Lung? No. Jugglers despair?
No. Achy-Breaky Pelvis? No. Oh, I'm never going to be disabled.
I'm sick of being so healthy! Hey wait -- Hyper-Obesity. If you
weigh more than 300 pounds, you qualify as disabled.

-- Homer Simpson
King-Size Homer