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If Gay Ellen thinks it's cool...why not?

Submitted by Unabonger at 2005-09-12 21:13:50 EDT
Rating: 1.42 on 22 ratings (22 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I just saw the awesome commercial with Ellen Degeneres where she wakes up to some horridly loud and annoying music and jumps out of bed happy as can be. Then she gets in the elevator and, when the door opens on Floor Stupid, another lady finds her dancing to yet another loud obnoxious tune. Then, Ground Level: Morons, Shoes, and Toothpaste. She and the lady are both dancing together, obviously embracing the comfort they just shared with each other in enjoying being women and riding in an elevator together (things rarely shared between individuals in today's world). Then she dances right down the street to more crappy music and arrives under the spotlight of her newest "I'm a Lesbian Show!" program some retarded station is willing to play to garner the failed ratings in combating the WBs Dubba Dubba Friday Night. Homosexuality gains ratings, people...just look at Will and Grace! If it weren't for the obnoxiously over-played stereotypical gay guy in that show, their ratings would plummet.
Then she says it...'My whole life has been about dancing to a different tune. That's why I choose American Express.' (paraphrased because I had to hear it from the other room where I was retching out the last little bit of dinner)

What.
The.
Fuck?

This commercial makes me shove a crowbar into my eye sockets. Yes, Ellen is 'dancing to her own tune' (read as gay) and she uses American Express. What the fuck do the two have in common? American Express is now fully supporting homosexuality now? Were they lacking in homosexual customers due to their previous 'I hate gay folk' advertising ploys? Cause I think it's all fine and shit that you're all about Ellen dancing around and exploiting her sexual orientation like some fucking perfume or cologne advertisement might exploit heterosexuality, but what the shit does it have to do with American Express?

Let me tell you two things, Ellen...

1. You're only all about dancing to your own tune when it's giving you the spotlight

and

2. You're a lesbian. Not a trend-setter. You have joined the countless famous people in the new millenia that openly admit their homosexuality and you certainly weren't the first. Hollywood seems filled to the brim with homosexuality and, just because you were famous before you 'came out' (read as 'my television show was failing so I had to do something to get them to watch'), doesn't mean you're incredibly awesome for being gay...or any different than the millions of American Express card carriers.

"Look at my new product...it's good for gay people too!"

Now I can fully express my individuality and uniqueness by using a credit card that has millions of customers in the United States...even if I'm gay! It certainly beats before, where gay people would be openly honest when applying for certain credit-based services in America, only to be turned down because they want to get down with members of the same sex. Thank God for the evolution of civil rights, eh?

When I see an advertisment for homeowner's insurance and it's a black couple I don't think the black people out there identify any better than I do (or would if I wasn't poor...and actually owned a house). And they don't say stupid shit like
"My life has always been about being black. That's why I choose Allstate!"

If they did, there would be an outcry of "What? That doesn't make any fucking sense!"

But I may be wrong. There might be the homosexuals and bisexuals out there that were hesitant to choose a credit card company that doesn't openly embrace gays and they can now rest comfortably in the knowledge that, although their life has been all about dancing to a different tune, they can still get a credit card.

Hey, if Ellen says it's cool...why not go for it? Lord knows she's gay...and that means something!


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Submitted by pannerplant at 2007-01-06 08:40:14 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Ejryuu at 2005-10-04 13:33:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Licker of all beave (+2)

Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH at 2005-09-22 08:42:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

fuckin queers!

Submitted by proofofpurchase at 2005-09-13 08:59:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think that you are afraid that you may be gay.

















Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Submitted by sinna at 2005-09-13 05:33:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Playboy (user info) at 2005-09-12 23:59:42 (#)
Ranking: 0


Homosexuality: it has been such a short amount of time for it too go from 'the love that dare not speak its name' to 'the love that will not bloody well shut up'
---------------------

Hahaha, it's funny 'cuz it's true.
It's practically become a fasion these days.

Submitted by Berty at 2005-09-13 05:21:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-09-12 23:35:13 (#)
Ranking: 0

Actually the commercial was a reference to her talk show, which is really popular (and never touches on her lesbianism) and the fact that she dances at the beginning of a lot of these shows.

The dancing numbers are popular, as no other host does that and she invites others to dance, etc etc.

So the dancing to a diff tune is just a ref to the popularity of her dance numbers. (and no I don't watch the show, just read this in Time or some equally lacking in journalistic integrity magazine)

But yeah. You sure do read a lot into things dont you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zoidberg once again stuns Berty with his great wisdom and insight.

Submitted by c1ndy at 2005-09-13 04:39:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

wise words

Submitted by supadupapupa at 2005-09-13 03:44:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Concise and well written, absolutely lovely.

Submitted by Playboy at 2005-09-12 23:59:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Homosexuality: it has been such a short amount of time for it too go from ‘the love that dare not speak its name’ to ‘the love that will not bloody well shut up’


Submitted by shitfuck at 2005-09-12 23:57:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I think it's time you came out of the closet.

Submitted by Zoidberg at 2005-09-12 23:35:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Actually the commercial was a reference to her talk show, which is really popular (and never touches on her lesbianism) and the fact that she dances at the beginning of a lot of these shows.

The dancing numbers are popular, as no other host does that and she invites others to dance, etc etc.

So the dancing to a diff tune is just a ref to the popularity of her dance numbers. (and no I don't watch the show, just read this in Time or some equally lacking in journalistic integrity magazine)

But yeah. You sure do read a lot into things dont you?

Submitted by Method at 2005-09-12 23:13:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I wuv u schmoopie

Submitted by Unabonger at 2005-09-12 23:07:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

and a revenge -2 by method...what a fucking surprise.

my bad, dude. next time you make a post with one letter spammed and scrollwhored across the universe, I'll be sure to +2 it for ya. touch me where i pee, Method.

and, Eagle, I just never found her funny. I have caught her talkshow on occasion and I know it's not about being a lesbian...I have nothing against lesbians I just don't think she was funny enough as a comedian (stand up) when she was taking off to garner the attention she gets now. I think it's, for the most part, because it was such a huge deal that she came out on public television. I just don't find her dry humor very funny.

Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle at 2005-09-12 23:03:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Funny post, but...

I actually watch DeGeneres's new show, and it's just...not about being gay. It's a regular talk show, and it's actually funny as hell. I thought it was going to be the Hardcore Lesbian Midday Talk Show, but it's really just an above-average, normal talk show.

So plus two for funny writing, but minus one for being misinformed. Definitely made me smile.

Submitted by Method at 2005-09-12 22:56:48 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

HAR HAR INTERNET RATINGS WAR FAG

LETS FIGHT

3:00 PM BY THE OLD SALOON


Submitted by firefly at 2005-09-12 22:24:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Saxon at 2005-09-12 22:18:21 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Have another +2 because i spelt your name wrong. Gawd im not having a good day, thank god theres beer in the fridge at home.

Submitted by Whiplash at 2005-09-12 22:14:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Excellent.

Submitted by ghola at 2005-09-12 22:13:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

YES.

Submitted by Saxon at 2005-09-12 22:05:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

<stand and applauds> well said Mr Unerbonger.

Submitted by bklyn65 at 2005-09-12 21:52:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

For the last time LESBIANS ARE ONLY COOL IF THEY ARE BOTH HOT.
Not hot! Bull Dykes
Thank you and good night.

Submitted by Teuton at 2005-09-12 21:17:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Holy shit I am going to fill out an app right now. I brushed next to this guy on the bus and I felt my penis touch his hand so I fall into the AE category right?


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