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CAPTAIN THORNS IS PRETTY FUCKING FAT THESE DAYS HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE GODDAMN LAY OFF THE CRONUTS
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my leadership at its finest.

Submitted by Kracka at 2005-09-01 08:43:40 EDT
Rating: 1.65 on 19 ratings (19 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Ok so halfway through my tour over here in the desert we got a new commander. Yesterday was his newcomers briefing. Now I didn’t have to go seeing as how I am leaving in a little bit. If I didn’t have faith in our leadership before this definitely confirmed that I will probably never have great faith in our leadership. This is part of the handout he gave to the new comers.


Leadership Philosophy:

- My job is to take care of you, mentor you and nurture you, provide the resources needed, stay out of your way, and grow the next generation of AF leaders (not a bad start. I am liking where this is going. I don’t like the whole micromanagement thing.)
- We will have fun (hey I am all about fun. Ask anyone that knows me)
- I will always trust you…..until you prove yourself untrustworthy (I can take that)
- I hold everyone accountable for their duties and responsibilities ( as it should be)

Dislikes/Pet Peeves:

- Not being kept updated on status (hey if I had to answer to his boss this would be a pet peeve of mine)
- Being surprised by my boss ( surprises in the military are not liked by higher ups because they usually mean trouble)
- Learning that bad news was hidden – bad news is NOT like fin wine…it does NOT get better with age (ok so you want to know when shit goes wrong. Fair enough)
- Lies (who really likes those?)
- Folks without team spirit (hey in the desert team spirit is just about the only thing to keep you going)

HIS-isms:
- Say it loud and with confidence and it will be believed (huh? I HAVE A 12” PENIS!!!! You believe me?)
- If everything is important, then nothing is important ( kinda get that one since everything can’t be important)
- A HOOAH and a nod can carry you an long way in life (I got you sometimes you need to smile and nod and just walk away)
- You can do twice as much….if you half-ass everything (The FUCK you say? You are telling me to slack shit off and do more than do something 100%?)
- Consistency is better than accuracy (Ummm so if I do something shitty all the time that is a good thing? Well you are making my job a lot easier.)
- There is an art to knowing when to shut up ( you should have done that about 6 lines ago)

This really has me glad that I am leaving seeing as the crew that is here to replace us will be living by his HIS-isms. There is no way they are going to survive this. Hey maybe that is why he gets the big bucks and I get paid shit to sit and do what he says. But at least I can say I am glad he is not in charge of a fighting unit in Iraq or they wouldn’t have a chance.


Stupidity.jpg
Stupidity.jpg


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Submitted by sideshow at 2005-09-01 18:12:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

What a bunch of dumb fuckers

Submitted by JonnyX at 2005-09-01 15:13:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Are you back to being a Negro again? Just checking...

Submitted by TuTs at 2005-09-01 10:49:10 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Is it wrong to read all your posts in a john wayne accent?

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2005-09-01 10:29:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

love the picture

Submitted by swamp_donkey at 2005-09-01 10:20:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I piss fire!

Submitted by Xcuses at 2005-09-01 10:16:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Picture worth +2 alone

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2005-09-01 09:54:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Hey! If you had the choice of being the top scientist in your field or getting Mad Cow, which would you choose?

Submitted by Berty at 2005-09-01 09:42:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Why Mad Cow? Because it's a brain disease. I'll leave you to put the rest of the legos together.

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Bitch please, we invented that disease.

Submitted by RyuFu at 2005-09-01 09:29:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's all very Catch-22

Submitted by indoninja at 2005-09-01 09:20:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I thought you were going to talk about leading the looting in New Orleans.



This was good too.











Did I just cross the line?

Submitted by d_prime at 2005-09-01 09:14:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ozzy at 2005-09-01 09:14:52 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

+ 1 for the pic.
Does anyone really pay attention to those leadership briefings? Sounds like a bunch of BS. And if anyone knows BS, it's me. I'm the king of spouting BS.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2005-09-01 09:13:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

You should call him Mad Cow like the Captain on Over There.

Why Mad Cow? Because it's a brain disease. I'll leave you to put the rest of the legos together.

Submitted by Teephphah at 2005-09-01 09:00:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that
used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!

-- Homer Simpson
Secrets of a Successful Marriage

------------------------------------------

America. Fuck yeah.

Submitted by Berty at 2005-09-01 08:50:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's all very Catch-22.

Submitted by MickGinny at 2005-09-01 08:49:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

- You can do twice as much....if you half-ass everything
I could see this as an attempt at sarcasm


- Consistency is better than accuracy
But this concerns me.


Submitted by Fabit at 2005-09-01 08:49:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

it's funny cause it's true.

Submitted by TheSpook at 2005-09-01 08:46:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"I will probably never have great faith in our leadership."

Government work will do that to you.

Submitted by Merlina at 2005-09-01 08:45:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

ha ha ha - I love that picture.


Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!

-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood