login / register
Bow down before your lord and savior, Blackbear
Welcome to Ubersite!

God and the Spider (remixed)

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2005-08-08 20:17:54 EDT
Rating: 1.88 on 19 ratings (19 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

There was a war, some time ago, and an ordinary man named Jeremy Campbell found himself in big trouble, as he was fighting the war. He was part of the Airborne Infantry and he, along with a dozen other soldiers, parachuted in to deep enemy territory. The other soldiers landed far away from Jeremy, and Jeremy was all alone and very scared.

He could hear the ‘clank clank’ of the enemy’s swords as they closed upon him. Jeremy needed to hide.

He found a cave next to a path. There were several caves in this territory and Jeremy prayed to The Lord to guide him to the right one. “Lord,” he prayed. “I need your help on this one. Guide me to the best cave. You’ve never let me down.” Jeremy picked the smallest one, the first one he noticed next to the path. Just as he found a spot to hide, he heard the footsteps and ‘clank clank’ of the enemy soldiers drawing near. Jeremy prayed some more.

“Lord, please protect me from the enemy. I’m putting all my trust in you oh Lord.” Jeremy was a good Christian who never had doubted his faith in Jesus Christ. And just then, right after he prayed, Jeremy could see a spider crawl across the dirt and pebbles near the entrance of the cave. Jeremy could hear the enemy soldiers drawing closer. They were speaking a weird language that Jeremy did not understand. He could hear their echoes as they had entered one of the many caves next to him. “Please don’t let them come in here… oh please God no.”

The spider began to spin it’s web. After a few minutes, the spider had finished it’s web and it sat patiently in the center, waiting for a bug to get trapped. “Great,” thought Jeremy. “I need a thick wall to protect me and the Lord sent me a darn SPIDER.” But, although this didn’t make sense, he knew the Lord would come through. He knew that the Lord worked in mysterious ways. And he completely trusted Him.

Soon after the spider finished the web, Jeremy could see the feet of the enemy soldiers stopped at the entrance of the cave. They were talking and Jeremy could see the beam of one of their flashlights shining through the web and in to the cave. Jeremy was hidden well. They would have to enter the cave in order to see him.

But the enemy soldiers did not enter. They saw the spider and it’s web and figured that no one had entered the cave for a while so they moved on. “Boy,” Jeremy said. “The Lord sure has a sense of humor!”

Then, all of a sudden, the soldiers stopped talking. They slowly turned back and re-approached Jeremy’s cave. Jeremy though, “oh gosh, did I actually SAY that? Oh no…” He did, and one of the soldiers carefully ran the butt of his flashlight across the web, destroying it. The spider quickly ran away as the soldiers slowly entered the cave.

Jeremy got to his knees and squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that the Lord send something else to protect him. As he was praying, he could hear the silvery, unmistakable sound of a sword being unsheathed. “Lord,” Jeremy prayed. He could feel the heat of the flashlight shining directly on his face, but he kept his eyes shut, trusting in Him to pull him through. Jeremy said, “ple…” and before he could finish his prayer, one of the soldiers sliced his head off clean at the neck. Hot blood sprayed all over the walls of the cave, painting them red.

Jeremy Campbell’s head rolled toward the entrance of the cave, dead eyes still squeezed shut. After the soldiers left, the spider ran through puddles of blood, coating its little legs, and it skittered up Jeremy’s face and crawled in to his mouth.

The spider began to spin a web across Jeremy Campbell’s big, open, praying, dead lips.

Murphy


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by Istaros at 2005-08-30 03:43:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

AMEN!

Submitted by DeathJester at 2005-08-09 10:04:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

One more reason for me to state that I am not christian.

Submitted by coley at 2005-08-09 05:25:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

MURPH IS CRAZY

Submitted by kaos-king at 2005-08-09 01:25:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HA! Excellent...

Submitted by Hsibaf at 2005-08-09 00:50:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Damn Murphy this was really fucking good. It impacted me in an extremely inspirational way.




Thanks for writing this.

Submitted by Judoka at 2005-08-08 23:23:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Youve got issues...

Submitted by tammy at 2005-08-08 23:13:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This was worth wading through the shit.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2005-08-08 22:09:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

<shudder>

Submitted by Chinaski at 2005-08-08 21:22:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

sick

Submitted by krissi at 2005-08-08 21:06:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

haha. oh, i wish spiders didn't freak the shit out of me.

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude at 2005-08-08 20:48:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

bahahaha phenomenal

Submitted by Zoidberg at 2005-08-08 20:47:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Japan! banzaiiiiiiiiiii

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2005-08-08 20:41:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

This is based on a true story, Axolotl.

Submitted by Creepy_guy at 2005-08-08 20:38:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nice!

Submitted by Axolotl at 2005-08-08 20:34:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Swords + Airborne Infantry?


Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2005-08-08 20:27:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Hey loki... it's been a while. How are ya?

Submitted by JMG114 at 2005-08-08 20:26:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well adapted.

Submitted by loki at 2005-08-08 20:24:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

jesus christ murph

(backs away slowly)

Submitted by PokeyPecker at 2005-08-08 20:20:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well THAT was different.


Even the Chinese are against me.

-- Homer Simpson
The Last Temptation of Homer