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Siren Interview

Submitted by Kracka at 2005-07-18 10:26:37 EDT
Rating: 1.84 on 96 ratings (96 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

~ Why are black people on the phone every time I see them?

The reason for this my dear friend Siren is we as a people have a problem paying what white people call “bills”. This is not the problem with a cell phone. When you have a cell phone generally the only people with your number are friends and relatives. Therefore “The Man” or bill collectors as you call them cannot get in touch with us. The reason we are on them all the time is the fact that we have the suspicion that one day “The Man” will also call us on the cell phone. And for those saying that cell phones have bills too you are correct but they are cheaper than all the other bills we aren’t paying. So in the end we win. Now to address your concerns with the walkie talkies it is the same as above but guess what? Cheaper.

~Do you really think those soft-core rap solos in the middle of r&b ballads are cool?

No.

~Do you listen to Boyz 2 Men when you're about to get jiggy with a fly honey?

First off let me correct you by letting you know that it is Boys II Men. Helloooooo…… That is what makes them unique. The roman numeral. Pssshh trying to be all up in there like it’s Boys 2 Men. Crazy white girl. And no I do not listen to them whilst as you put it getting jiggy with a fly honey. There are way too many different songs to mention that I like to use while entertaining a young lady. There is a variety. Usually old school, like Marvin Gaye and Lionel Ritchie and others. And some new school like Brian McKnight and others and not all R&B either I do like to use some alternative songs.

~Do you listen to only rap, or only r&b, or both? Subquestion: Have you ever heard of Nirvana?

I do listen to both and I have heard of Nirvana. It really is a shame that Kurt killed himself. But hey what can I say? I listen to a wide variety of music the only thing I do not listen to is that screaming Death Metal and the twangy country.

~Are you related to R. Kelly?

No I am not. The reason the black people do the hand jive or the “sup” is because it is code. One day we will take over the world…. It is just a matter of time.

~Do all black people apply special oils to their skin and hair?

Yes. Next question.

~How come most of the time you can tell if you're talking to a black person purely by the sound of his voice? (This has nothing to do with any sort of accent or slang). Even if it's the geekiest whitest black man out there, you can still hear the black in his voice.

It is a genetic thing. Kind of like the extra muscle in our legs that make us run faster and jump higher. But I am not a doctor so I can’t really explain it in detail that much.

~Can you do that loud clicky thing with the back of your tongue like those people on the Discovery channel?

If you only knew what they were saying about white people. That shit is funny.

~You know when you get into arguments with people and you wave your index finger around, other hand on hip, move your head around like an owl, and sometimes *clap* at the end? Well, does that come from all that 'soul?' Because I hear you all have an abundance of soul, and if you're not an r&b singer, it has to come out somewhere, huh?

Sorry but you have mistaken me for a black female. The males don’t do this we just wait for the opportune time to knock the fuck out of the person we are arguing with.

~Do you ever feel the need to tan?

No but we can and do get darker with prolonged exposure to the sun. With that you get the really dark black people that have a bluish tint to them.

~Did you have a natural talent for the javelin in high school track?

Yes why?

~~What are your opinions on Bill Cosby, that new Mexican stamp, gold grills, Koolaid, George W. Bush, and Ubersite as a whole?

Love the man, umm been overseas for the last for years have no idea what you are talking about, not as cool as platinum grills, what color red or purple?, can’t say anything because I am in the military and we cannot speak on such things without having to have a representative from public affairs present, hey I get to run amuck and no one really says anything,and there is some pretty fine white women on here.


sireninterview.jpg
sireninterview.jpg


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Submitted by beeltea at 2007-11-10 01:16:56 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Why don't you listen to twangy country? Is it because you hate white people?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2007-11-09 19:01:49 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I don't know where to begin in describing the awesomeness contained here.

Submitted by Amontillado at 2007-11-09 18:37:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by ASO at 2007-11-09 15:22:21 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"~Did you have a natural talent for the javelin in high school track?

Yes why? "




hahahahhaahhahahahahahaahhhahahhahaa

Submitted by experima at 2007-11-09 15:04:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hi
Lar
I
Ous

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2007-11-09 14:11:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-07-19 12:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"~Did you have a natural talent for the javelin in high school track?

Yes why? "

that line is one of the top five funniest things to have been on this site.


holeeee shiiiit.

Submitted by lechuza at 2007-11-09 13:47:52 EST (#)
Rating: 2

~Can you do that loud clicky thing with the back of your tongue like those people on the Discovery channel?



BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-11-09 13:23:36 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2007-11-09 12:11:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Awesome.


I like the blicks very much

Submitted by Fungah at 2007-11-09 10:54:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed.

Submitted by scourge at 2007-11-09 10:16:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

mrr. made me laugh all over again.

Submitted by Anansie at 2007-11-09 09:19:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by inion_de_trua at 2007-11-09 09:13:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

hahaha.

Submitted by S.I. Co. at 2007-11-09 06:03:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia at 2007-11-09 05:11:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

No Comment

Submitted by HighVoltage900 at 2006-01-27 22:29:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Man that made me laugh.

Submitted by scourge at 2006-01-27 17:12:05 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Hahahahaha.

Funnny as hell. if I ever run across the man known as kracka, we will drink together and molest white women. I swear this to be true.

Submitted by mrwolf at 2005-07-23 09:04:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Axisofjesus first post was funny. Turns out he's a sensationalist dickwad afterall though.

Wicked post

Submitted by joedaddy at 2005-07-21 19:29:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

....the only thing I do not listen to is....... and the twangy country.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
But I thought Charlie Pride was a brother?

You got white women there?

(Damn.....Army be getin ser-ous bout recruit-n-ment)



*Whitey is afraid of cornrows

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-07-20 05:19:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

SHUT UP SIREN YOU HAVE (861 hits)

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-07-20 05:18:46 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-07-20 04:55:20 (#)
Ranking: 2

It was brought to my attention that I didn't link whore on here, so that's why I have no hits.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/70969


------------

fuck that, this nigger should have done it in the post.

OMG I SAID NIGGER IM HARDCORE TOO

Submitted by Siren at 2005-07-20 04:55:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It was brought to my attention that I didn't link whore on here, so that's why I have no hits.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/70969

Submitted by thorpe at 2005-07-20 00:22:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Heh heh heh heh.

Submitted by tuesdaydelay at 2005-07-19 15:24:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Chinaski at 2005-07-19 14:32:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

strange...

Submitted by JulsInsane at 2005-07-19 13:35:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You rock socks...

but you never did cover that penis question that was posted in Siren's comments

Submitted by iddqd at 2005-07-19 12:35:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"~Did you have a natural talent for the javelin in high school track?

Yes why? "

that line is one of the top five funniest things to have been on this site.

Submitted by Unabonger at 2005-07-19 09:34:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

some points that need to be made:

1. Nirvana sucks and it's NOT a shame that retched singer blew his brain cell out.

2. I've noticed I smell funny when it rains.

3. Martin Lawrence is not a funny man. He needs to follow Cobain's lead.

4. R&B sucks. Rap is mildly entertaining but, by no stretch of the imagination, is it music. Country sucks asshole too. Death metal is synonymous with the sound my rectum makes.

5. The only black people on the internet are 'white' black people...except Kracka who is a 'brother's brother'.

6. (in reference to a review) Paul Reiser is an asshole and I've hated him for years.

7. Blacks, whites, and every other color should stop using the word 'nigga'. If you can see to that, I promise I'll never say 'dude' again.

thanks for the good read. I'd give you a +2 but i'd hate to do the reverse racism thing. I'd give you a 0 but I don't want to be called a bigot. As is, I'll rate +1...

Submitted by Ducky at 2005-07-19 08:16:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by DanielH at 2005-07-19 06:51:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-18 19:43:44 (#)
Ranking: 2

What's the deal with reclining the drivers' seat in the car all the way back so that when "you people" drive, we can only see the top of your "fro?

I na related vein, what's the story with the chrome rims on your tires?

Thanks!

- - -

Low and slow, dude. Whereas white people (4x4's, SUVs) ride high and fast-er. It's that simple.

Submitted by Spam at 2005-07-19 06:44:54 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by axisofjesus (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:29:19 (#)
Ranking: -2

Fuck off you nigger. Not welcome.

---

I worry about the type of person who types shit like this.

Submitted by A-Daamage at 2005-07-19 06:27:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Kickass. By the way, um, is that a cyanide pill in your mouth in the third pic? I know war is hell, but sheesh.

Oh, and is it mandatory for all black people to find Martin Lawrence humorous? Because I think he's the most unfunny person on the planet since Paul Reiser.

Submitted by Pr0j3ct at 2005-07-19 06:11:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-18 13:23:14 (#)
Ranking: 2

A black dude told me one time that white people smell funny when it's raining. Any thoughts?

Oh, and the same dude told me that white girls pussy smells like mayonnaise.


Truth.


I couldn't make this shit up.


Steve to begin to answer your questions (being the most non-black person imaginable)....
white people smell funny when it's raining?!?!? wtf?!?!
oh but I think I have an idea about the second one.
You see, white people eat mayonnaise.
Black people, as a generalization, do not.
I think the taste of a girl's pussy is directly related to what she eats. Do not ask how, I have a hunch.
Maybe she eats an abundance of mayo?

Submitted by Siren at 2005-07-19 05:21:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Dammit people!!! This wouldn't even exit without my post. Go rate it, now!

Submitted by DanielH at 2005-07-19 05:04:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

That was supposed to be +2. This was funny. After the military, try out for
Mad TV. You kinda rule. (I would say SNL, but they suck.) KEEP POSTING. (Your lesser-known biggest fan, -d)

Submitted by DanielH at 2005-07-19 05:03:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

+++ This was funny. After the military, try out for
Mad TV. You kinda rule. (I would say SNL, but they suck.) KEEP POSTING. (Your lesser-known biggest fan, -d)

Submitted by The_Great_One at 2005-07-19 00:49:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hella fine job if i do say so myself...
And yes we add oils to our hair, but if white people dont wash theirs daily then what? O.K. then, differences that you should live with because BIG FUCKING DEAL. That's just what they are, differences, so what, deal with it you losers...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2005-07-18 19:43:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

What's the deal with reclining the drivers' seat in the car all the way back so that when "you people" drive, we can only see the top of your "fro?

I na related vein, what's the story with the chrome rims on your tires?

Thanks!

Submitted by LadyPlural at 2005-07-18 19:27:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Damnit, I was thinking I could quote Blazing Saddles in a review and be all witty and amusing, but NOOOOOOOOO, Mr. Tom 'I live to spoil the hopes and dreams of young innocent girls' Sorrell had to beat me to it. But I'll copy and paste his response anyway, as a kind of shitty consolation prize.




Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-07-18 12:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 1

HEY, WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?

I told you to wash up after weekly cross burnings ... it's coming off.

I knew it!

And now, for my next impression: Jessie Owens.

Submitted by chemokenny at 2005-07-18 18:25:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

reminds me of Negrodamus

Submitted by JonnyX at 2005-07-18 17:11:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'M DOLEMITE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

Submitted by munkeypants at 2005-07-18 15:21:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You, sir, are funny!

Submitted by Phinch at 2005-07-18 14:53:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Some white people sure are silly.

you do realize that your camwhore might take me out of uber retirement.

Submitted by Vulva at 2005-07-18 14:50:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You do realize you are the token of uber now. I do respect the fact that you threw your blackness at us right away, instead of just hiding and replying to the racist posts.

Advice:
Try to straddle that fine line between "loveable character" and "mascot/puppet"...one is respectable, the other is being used for our amusement.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2005-07-18 14:44:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I will not. Look at it. LOOK AT IT!!!!


Submitted by RyuFu at 2005-07-18 14:19:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Pssshh trying to be all up in there like it's Boys 2 Men. Crazy white girl.
----------------------------------
I enjoy Kracka posts!!!

Submitted by DCWoody at 2005-07-18 14:13:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

put ur dik away bucky..

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2005-07-18 14:10:07 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I have balls, fucker. How about I rest them on your forehead to prove it?

I was talking to EVERYONE who wears smelly ass lotion... not just the darkies. I mean, negroes. I mean, African Americans. Fuck...


Submitted by RandomJose at 2005-07-18 14:06:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

word.

Submitted by Siren at 2005-07-18 14:04:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also, the scariest thing about this for me was the fact that I hit "Hook Me Up" and went directly to bed for about 6 hours. I love waking up to little surprises like this. You are excellent, my friend.

Submitted by Siren at 2005-07-18 14:02:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HAHAHAHA...!

Thanks for being a good sport. However, I'm not sure why your post has double the reviews that mine does, but I'm pretty sure it's something to do with reverse racial discrimination.

Submitted by Envenom at 2005-07-18 13:55:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I applaud each of you...I'm sure this was very educational for some

Submitted by COMountain at 2005-07-18 13:53:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

HAHAHahahaha.... Kracka just replaced Chris Tucker as my all time favorite black guy!

Submitted by nitty34 at 2005-07-18 13:52:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Great answers. Nice work, K.

Submitted by DCWoody at 2005-07-18 13:50:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

buckeyes the game has no balls

"you people (people who wear that stuff)"

And that was annoying to read, scrolling back and forth the whole time, funny though.

comby

Submitted by NotSteve at 2005-07-18 13:23:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

A black dude told me one time that white people smell funny when it's raining. Any thoughts?

Oh, and the same dude told me that white girls pussy smells like mayonnaise.


Truth.


I couldn't make this shit up.

Submitted by ned at 2005-07-18 13:12:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

this could have been funny.

i've seen better.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2005-07-18 12:23:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

~Do all black people apply special oils to their skin and hair?

Yes. Next question.

-------

Interestingly enough, a older black man walked in to the firm today and needed to borrow a pen. I was the closest person, so I let him use mine. When I got it back a few minutes later, it was all gooey and smelled like musk. I had top throw the fucking pen away because it was making me want to vomit.

What the fuck is up with that? That guy owes me $2.00 as reparations for the destruction of my pen.

Why do you people (people who wear that type of stuff) think that shit smells good? It doesn't. It smells like the ass of an extraordinarily smelly baby.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2005-07-18 12:14:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

HEY, WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?

I told you to wash up after weekly cross burnings ... it's coming off.

I knew it!

And now, for my next impression: Jessie Owens.

Submitted by spedmonkey at 2005-07-18 12:11:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed.

Submitted by egadz at 2005-07-18 12:10:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Shit.

Submitted by egadz at 2005-07-18 12:09:51 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fucking.

Submitted by egadz at 2005-07-18 12:09:36 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Complete.

Submitted by WellFedEthiopian at 2005-07-18 11:58:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

~Did you have a natural talent for the javelin in high school track?

Yes why?



hahhahahhahahahha

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2005-07-18 11:49:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Classic.

Submitted by Mike00295 at 2005-07-18 11:38:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

"It is a genetic thing. Kind of like the extra muscle in our legs that make us run faster and jump higher. But I am not a doctor so I can't really explain it in detail that much"
----------
pissed in my draw's

Submitted by SimianSidestep at 2005-07-18 11:37:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

It's about time. I'll be the Dolemite to your Truck Turner. We'll take over this whole Uber thing. And here I thought you were chinese.....

Submitted by Professional_Peon at 2005-07-18 11:25:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I'm fucking hyperventilating!!!!!!

Sombody get me a paper bag!!!

<passes out>

Submitted by iradney at 2005-07-18 11:16:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

you remind me of an ex...'cept you're way cuter *sigh*

Submitted by c1ndy at 2005-07-18 11:09:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think I love you.

Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge at 2005-07-18 11:05:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You post more now than when you were in Italy.

Submitted by Mrs.Love at 2005-07-18 11:04:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Now that was funny.

Submitted by fudgepacker at 2005-07-18 11:00:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

nicely done.

Submitted by CockOTheNorth at 2005-07-18 10:59:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well done matey. I see you can tell the difference between racism and satire. Axis Of Jesus is actually a racist piece of AIDS. Perhaps you could do a nice white piss take for us. You OWE it.

Submitted by Kracka at 2005-07-18 10:56:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

adam- i knew at least one guy would catch the reference

Submitted by Adamdidit2u at 2005-07-18 10:55:42 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Love the B&W pics at the end, It made me think of one of the interviews from playboy.

Submitted by Wiggles at 2005-07-18 10:53:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hahaha

Submitted by Kracka at 2005-07-18 10:50:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

wiggles - i enjoy the simpsons just as i enjoy the family guy. now if you tell anyone black i will be forced to do a drive-by on your ass.

Submitted by Wiggles at 2005-07-18 10:47:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Too bad axisofjesus is a racist cunt. His first post was somewhat funny.

Oh, and Kracka? <raises hand>

Do any black people watch The Simpsons? It's a pretty white-oriented show, but I was curious if you knew any black people that found it funny. I haven't met one yet.

Submitted by Teephphah at 2005-07-18 10:44:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh dear God . . . the comb . . . the comb.


Submitted by Circe at 2005-07-18 10:43:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

<insert some kind of edgy witty remark here, whatever would make you laugh or be impressed, i dunno, surprise me>

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2005-07-18 10:42:45 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This was awesome!!

Submitted by swamp_donkey at 2005-07-18 10:42:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I love me some kracka.

Submitted by Wiggles at 2005-07-18 10:39:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Auto +2 for responding. Now I'll read it.

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2005-07-18 10:37:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by axisofjesus (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:34:25 (#)
Ranking: -2

Black and white. Gay. Nigger. Are you from outerspace by any chance?
----------------

This "edgy" alter will go faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.

Submitted by Pentameter at 2005-07-18 10:36:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You are fucking awesome.

Submitted by Berty at 2005-07-18 10:34:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Har Har

Submitted by axisofjesus at 2005-07-18 10:34:25 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Black and white. Gay. Nigger. Are you from outerspace by any chance?

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2005-07-18 10:33:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by axisofjesus (user info) at 2005-07-18 10:29:19 (#)
Ranking: -2

Fuck off you nigger. Not welcome.
==========================================

Entertaining. Have a +2 to balance out this n00b asshat.

Submitted by rad1101 at 2005-07-18 10:31:39 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

OMG RACIST

Submitted by piowufbhwervnerfnc at 2005-07-18 10:31:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathe*
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathe*
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathe*
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathe*
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathe*

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2005-07-18 10:31:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You're awesome. Ignore that racist piece of shit down there.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2005-07-18 10:30:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You rock.

Submitted by Sassmasterr at 2005-07-18 10:30:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

black people on uber?
surely you jest! hahahah-

oh...looks authentic

Submitted by axisofjesus at 2005-07-18 10:29:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Fuck off you nigger. Not welcome.

Submitted by Kracka at 2005-07-18 10:27:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/70969


Forgot the link BUDAMMIT


Marge: You don't have to join a freak show just because the
opportunity came along.

Homer: You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different
people.

Homerpalooza