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Fresh Catch

Submitted by Unabonger at 2005-07-13 00:06:10 EDT
Rating: 1.11 on 12 ratings (12 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

David was a good worker. His manager had reservations about hiring the slow boy to do buss work in the seafood joint next to the river a year ago, but it had all turned out well. David had gone from bussing tables to serving. Sure, he couldn't handle the high volume of a regular section but there was that two-top table in the smoking section right under the air conditioner vent and radio speaker that nobody liked to sit at. That table was David's and David was proud of it. He'd wipe it down quite often and always made the guests who had the misfortune of being seated there feel at home with his friendly attitude and his limited, but comfortably simple vocabulary. Never had there been a cleaner table and this night was no exception.

An elderly couple was slowly inching their way to the table with the Host moving quickly ahead of them on the busy Friday night. Finally seated, a look of elation crept over David's face as he noticed them. Approaching them, the elderly man noticed the dull look in David's eyes, the child-like smile across his face and the awkward limp that gave his handicapped nature away. With a roll of his eyes, the man went back to his menu.

"HELLO thar! I'm David!

...I'm David!"

The elderly woman looked to her husband as he frowned over the menu and grumbled, "a slow waiter for a slow restaurant."

"What wud you like to dink?" David managed to ask. He seemed not to take note of the elderly man's condecending manner and continued with the routine he used with every table.

"A scotch, rocks. The lady'll have a Beringer. And bring us two waters too...if you can manage." The man continued looking over the menu as David stood there without moving. Slowly the couple brought their gaze to David.

"Wud you like to hear da special Fresh Catch?" David asked.

"Not really, David, I'd like to eat sometime tonight and I don't think you speak quickly enough" the old man replied.

"I'd love to, honey," the woman said with a quick, sideways glance to her husband.

Smiling with glee, David looked to the ceiling as if the description was written there and stated loudly, "Da Special Fresh Catch is a Adlantic Salmon filet, lightly blackened and served over da bed of steamed spinach wif a side of rice pilaf. It's 17.95 an' it's very very very very good!"

David looked back to the table in proud indignance.

"Well that sounds lovely, David. Go ahead and bring me that." The gentleman got up without excusing himself and rudely pushed past David to go to the restroom.

David smiled and looked to the lady. "I'll have the shrimp scampi, David, and thank you so much."

After serving the couple their drinks, David went to the back and stood next to the passthrough waiting for his food. He rocked back and forth, staring at the ground seemingly mumbling to himself. He did this often.

"Order up, David! Better hurry!" a shout came from behind the line.

Two entrees were placed on the pass and David placed a large spoon in the shrimp scampi bowl. He grabbed the second plate and placed a lemon on it. Looking around, he noticed no one was watching and he picked up the salmon filet and walked into the buss station. Undoing the buckle on his over-sized belt, he dropped his trousers to his ankles, placed the filet on his palm, and proceeded to stuff it down the back of his tight white underwear.

He smiled and looked to the ceiling as the cajun spices puckered his buckeye. He seemed to be enjoying himself. With a 'credit card swipe' of the salmon filet between his sweaty buttcheeks, he pulled up his pants, rebuckled his belt and placed the filet back on the plate.

Smiling, he pushed past the double swing doors and into the smoking section, plates in hand.

"Here's da scampi." David placed the bowl in front of the elderly lady.

"Mmmmm, it looks great David!" the woman said, smiling warmly.

"And da FRESH CATCH FRESH CATCH FRESH CATCH FRESH CATCH!!!!!!!!"

David walked back to the corner of the room where he'd usually rock back and forth, mumble and watch his cutomers eat from afar. The manager approached and leaned in to hear what David was mumbling, as he was always curious. He didn't know what to think about what he heard and he simply shook his head, said, "Good work, David!" and walked away. David smiled and mumbled more...

"freshcatchfreshcatchfreshcatchfreshcatchfreshcatchfreshcatch...."

FRESH!



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short notice and i wanted to get in on the fresh trend. I'm a follower.


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Reviews


Submitted by pannerplant at 2007-01-06 08:44:33 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by tuesdaydelay at 2005-08-13 18:42:28 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Resize

Submitted by lordofthedance at 2005-07-19 07:16:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I approve of you.

Submitted by Feijuada at 2005-07-14 18:22:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Thankee-sai.

Submitted by Unabonger at 2005-07-14 00:38:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

but i'm sure you'll come back and say "Oh no I wouldn't be friends with a little emo girl who pisses her pants when she's told she sucks."

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i'm not near that pissed or shallow.

let's drop it.

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN at 2005-07-14 00:05:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

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Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-07-13 23:28:59 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-07-13 16:26:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

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oh my fucking god, you are a little whiny girl with a skinned knee aren't you?

I rated your post because it sucked ass. It had no content, showed no ability for creative thinking on your part and the picture wasn't that good. All you did was put someone else's painting (which I didn't particularly care for) up on a website full of power-hungry egotists and then got all bent out of shape when the *expected* negative rating came from Diedra. I rated -2 for the post. My comment was directed at your bitching about someone flaming you. This is Ubersite, last I checked. You may have been around here longer than I have which certainly nullifies any credibility I have (sarcasm off), but it's pretty childlike to come onto my post and -2 me, linkwhore the rating and comment I gave you, purposefully point out your childlike response to what I said (which sounded like emo crying because you got a little burnt by a n00b) and try to start some war with me like Schlongy and Swamp Donkey.

Just for your peace of mind, I'd like to point out that I'll rate your future postings based on their content, not the user. If you want to cry like a little bitch about it and keep -2ing my posts, go ahead. Like I give a shit what some 12 year old girl has to say about my posts. It's blatently obvious to everyone who's witnessed this that you're acting like a child.

So sorry I insulted you...you poor mistreated artist.

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hmm i'm childlike yet you're calling me a 12 year old girl? Isn't slandering of that caliber a bit middle school at best? Thing is you both caught me on a bad day, that was all. I'm usually a cool mother fucker who lets shit slide but you see I took her rating as she meant that I was taking credit for the painting itself. But you see, you had no business what so ever in the entire altercation but decided to make it your business. So as far as i'm concerned you're just another uber user i'll probably never meet, and if we do meet I don't think this altercation will really mean shit considering it's just a damn site. Hell we may even be friends, but i'm sure you'll come back and say "Oh no I wouldn't be friends with a little emo girl who pisses her pants when she's told she sucks." But you know whatever, if that works for you keep insulting me. I hope it makes you feel better. hell have a plus two.

Submitted by Deidra at 2005-07-14 00:02:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Unabonger at 2005-07-13 23:28:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-07-13 16:26:34 (#)
Ranking: -2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh my fucking god, you are a little whiny girl with a skinned knee aren't you?

I rated your post because it sucked ass. It had no content, showed no ability for creative thinking on your part and the picture wasn't that good. All you did was put someone else's painting (which I didn't particularly care for) up on a website full of power-hungry egotists and then got all bent out of shape when the *expected* negative rating came from Diedra. I rated -2 for the post. My comment was directed at your bitching about someone flaming you. This is Ubersite, last I checked. You may have been around here longer than I have which certainly nullifies any credibility I have (sarcasm off), but it's pretty childlike to come onto my post and -2 me, linkwhore the rating and comment I gave you, purposefully point out your childlike response to what I said (which sounded like emo crying because you got a little burnt by a n00b) and try to start some war with me like Schlongy and Swamp Donkey.

Just for your peace of mind, I'd like to point out that I'll rate your future postings based on their content, not the user. If you want to cry like a little bitch about it and keep -2ing my posts, go ahead. Like I give a shit what some 12 year old girl has to say about my posts. It's blatently obvious to everyone who's witnessed this that you're acting like a child.

So sorry I insulted you...you poor mistreated artist.

Submitted by knucklesnelson at 2005-07-13 21:54:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

poop

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN at 2005-07-13 16:26:34 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Berty at 2005-07-13 07:10:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Nice bit of quick fire writing.

Submitted by MrWillard at 2005-07-13 02:57:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a fresh
star with Maggie.

-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Pony