How I Played Show and Tell, before Making out with Paco.Submitted by AllyJeans at 2005-05-19 11:18:43 EDT
Rating: 1.27 on 33 ratings (33 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
When I was a kid, a boy came over and asked to see me “thing.” He had the wide-eyed glory of innocent youth and a sappy grin to match. Standing there, he scuffed his foot back and forth across the sidewalk, as if he was trying to polish the concrete.
I hesitated, playing with my hair and glancing around at neighbor’s lawn (it had a big wheel and a slip and slide). I shook my head.
“Sorry, but I don’t have time. I have driver’s ed. before first period.”
He ended up leaving me shortly after that. He found another girl to play doctor with—someone who signed up for the full exam. I have no regrets. In the years to come, I would learn that my one time beau had some issues with his anatomy.
What issues you ask? Apparently, his pecker was so curved that the head was 180 degrees to starboard. The ladies (and the guys as well) took to calling him “corkscrew.”
I never ran into another boyfriend like corkscrew. Guys like him are a once in a lifetime opportunity--as is Meningitis and Ebola. I guess I’m happy I’ve missed them all.
Since then my relationships have been short lived. The kind that begin with a rush, coast along for a while, then crash like the Titantic. If you want a character study, I can tell you that painters enjoy their models, chefs don’t cater to your needs, and Greco Roman Wrestlers…let’s just say they spend too much time coming to “grips” with their sexuality.
All in all, I can’t complain. I have a nice place, a nice job and I’m just past my mid twenties.
Oh yeah, and I have a buzzing friend named, Paco. He never fails to comfort me.