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Fuck. I'm 40.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2019-04-14 08:53:25 EDT
Rating: 0.57 on 7 ratings (11 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I can still poop just fine. That's a win.

[Pic is me at 19 making a questionable decision just for the lolz. Some things never change.]

A Birthday Wish from Bart is All I Ever Wanted.jpg
A Birthday Wish from Bart is All I Ever Wanted.jpg


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Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-04-18 15:51:34 EDT (#)

My dears I want you all to calm down. I sense discord, which leads to disharmony and an imbalance of the body humour. Tarry not, time is short, look and wonder at the world around. Yes, even with it’s blemish, life is what you make it, weed or no. Forgive and forget, deeper and deepest, as the smoke wends along tubes personal..

Submitted by Hashtag at 2019-04-17 19:54:03 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You were one swollen fuck for a 19 yo.
You started juicing at a young age.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2019-04-17 17:09:20 EDT (#)

Don't worry, we're all still laughing at you.


Just kidding. I don't remember you, because I'm old as shit and I have advanced dementia.

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Submitted by dprime at 2019-04-17 10:08:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hah, back in the day y'all made fun of me for being a sniveling 15 year-old. Now I'm 29 and you're all old as shit. Who's laughing now?

Submitted by DaBeast at 2019-04-17 12:07:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Welcome to the Old Farts' Club! We have t-shirts!

*snaps fingers*

*holds out a thin, cheap, white t-shirt that's riddled with holes and boasts the logo 'Fuck I'm Old!' across the back in bright, pink neon letters*

Wear it with pride, son.

Submitted by dprime at 2019-04-17 10:08:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hah, back in the day y'all made fun of me for being a sniveling 15 year-old. Now I'm 29 and you're all old as shit. Who's laughing now?

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2019-04-16 15:14:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

On my 40th, gonna go on a bender, do cocaine, pop molly, and talk to randoms about life, and give off any wisdom I have left.. Then it's gonna be just kids, easy chair, and business, and wait out the next 40..

You better do it up, Oathmeal.

Happy Birthday!

Submitted by RoadSong at 2019-04-15 02:52:33 EDT (#)

Happy Birthday eh

Submitted by bart at 2019-04-14 17:33:10 EDT (#)

It gets better. With age, you’ll forget how old you are.

Submitted by Bestmate2 at 2019-04-14 16:34:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Ah poopy talk! Takes me back to the old days. Presenting one’s efforts to Nanny. She who insisted on a close scrutiny and of which was perceived by all, as a distasteful, but necessary duty. Constipation was frowned upon as it was accepted as cumbersome to the brain and a distinct disadvantage in one’s efforts to mastering verb conjugations.
Unblocking by Nanny was unpleasant for many, but interestingly not all. The division of response was largely determined by the frequency of Nanny’s manicure.

Submitted by blackbear at 2019-04-14 14:06:56 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

I can also still poop. Watch as I drop a deuce on this post

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2019-04-14 10:21:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Happy birthday and welcome to the club


Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.

-- Homer Simpson
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