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Strange Things In The Neighborhood

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2017-11-01 02:02:26 EDT
Rating: 1.8 on 7 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Like many, I've become sucked into the dark and creepy Upside Down World and the Netflix series Stranger Things. So once the doorbell stopped ringing and the goblins, clowns, princesses and ghouls retreated to their homes to tally up their loot, I headed to my fellas to watch the final episodes. With a quick stop for ice at the Mobile Station across the street from his apartment, I was ready to settle in for the night to watch the final episodes with some wine in my comfys.

Entering the gas station, my mind completely preoccupied with Number 11, the whole gang and if Hopper would survive the Upside Down World, I was totally oblivious to my surroundings. I've learned to keep my head low and mind my business in this area of town as there are always panhandlers or interesting characters looking for money or cigarettes or rides to wherever. So, it took me a few minutes for my brain to process what was happening. The manager extremely angry and visibly agitated was yelling and threatening several kids dressed in costumes who apparently had robbed the store moments before I walked in. After an extended verbal exchange and threats of the police being called, the little criminals dispersed. Standing at the plexiglass window getting ready to pay for my items, I hear a very loud POW and THUD. I immediately drop to the floor along with other store patrons. "Holy shit" I thought to myself. These little fuckers are shooting into the store. Freaking out and my heart racing, I slowly crawl across the floor, away from the window and hide behind a display of Frito Lay chips. The manager who is now himself in panic mode immediately ducks and hides behind the bulletproof plexiglass and proceeds to call the police.

Turns out these little Halloween masked fuckholes decided throwing rocks from across the parking lot at the glass window would be a cool and fun idea, terrifying all within the store. The large stones smashing against the window in succession POW, POW, POW, sounded like shots being fired. If only I had the power of 11.

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Submitted by Kracka at 2017-11-15 17:15:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Tiger if you remove the "e" we have a deal

Submitted by RoadSong at 2017-11-14 12:42:53 EST (#)
Rating: 2

My street smarts are on point as is your sarcasm.
~~~
TigerLilly
Keyboarding often fails me and does not convey what I really mean.
The village where I dwell has a population of 200 people and it’s name is Big Oak Flat.
I do admire your street smarts.


Submitted by TigerLilly at 2017-11-11 15:09:42 EST (#)

Oh touche Kracka!!

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2017-11-06 20:50:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Kracka at 2017-11-06 18:04:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Dammit, I was never one of those niggas.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2017-11-04 03:43:56 EDT (#)

Submitted by RoadSong at 2017-11-03 12:43:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I've learned to keep my head low and mind my business in this area of town as there are always panhandlers or interesting characters looking for money or cigarettes or rides to wherever.

Way to go street smarts.

————

Right?!! Go me. Besides if I make eye contact they always ask for something. My street smarts are on point as is your sarcasm.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2017-11-04 03:32:54 EDT (#)

Tyrone, wrong! I never married anyone from highschool. But all in all your blatant and obvious obsession with me and my previous sexual partners is quite accurate. Like, you deserve a trophy my homie. LMAO. Clearly an Alter with far to much interest in my sexcapades. And FYI, having different partners throughout the course of a lifetime doesn’t make me or anyone else for that matter a ho it makes us experienced.

And I’m not really sure the niggas here have noticed or even cared that I’ve been gone and ‘always be talking about some new nigga.’ Clearly you’ve taken notice though, have an obsession and are infantile.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2017-11-03 12:43:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I've learned to keep my head low and mind my business in this area of town as there are always panhandlers or interesting characters looking for money or cigarettes or rides to wherever.

Way to go street smarts.

Submitted by Linus at 2017-11-02 23:29:11 EDT (#)

Submitted by Tyrone at 2017-11-02 00:45:27 EDT (#)

Yaw niggaz ever notice how dis bitch be gone for, like, ever and then come back always be talkin bout some new nigga in her life?

Fucked a couple niggas from this site and shit, married some nigga from high school and shit, dated some nigga with a plane and shit.

Like, stop being such a ho already.

===

Preach my nigga.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2017-11-02 22:08:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shlongy mention! I win!

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2017-11-02 10:45:41 EDT (#)

I'm doing quite well, actually. I'm ludicrously healthy and business is booming. I have ponies on a small farm in Maryland and a beautiful little getaway down in the mountains of Virginia.

How about yourself, love? I hope life has been kind to you.

Submitted by Tyrone at 2017-11-02 00:45:27 EDT (#)

Yaw niggaz ever notice how dis bitch be gone for, like, ever and then come back always be talkin bout some new nigga in her life?

Fucked a couple niggas from this site and shit, married some nigga from high school and shit, dated some nigga with a plane and shit.

Like, stop being such a ho already.

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2017-11-02 00:03:43 EDT (#)

Hotwillie the world we live in is a shithole. And I have my own room at ‘Uncle Shlongys’ House.

Silvrwolf, I can always bank on some dipshit leg comment. At this point they are neither insulting or funny but rather unoriginal and lame.
More Importantly, how are you?

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2017-11-01 19:11:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Forgot to rate

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2017-11-01 19:11:01 EDT (#)

It took 16 hours... but the leg joke came.

Heathen kids suck. Daily beatings help.

Submitted by HotWillie at 2017-11-01 18:30:36 EDT (#)

if your boyfriend lives in a shithole, perhaps you should call uncle shlongy, who I'm sure would spring for a pied-à-terre in a nicer part of town in exchange for a weekly weinstein or two.

speaking of shitholes...über site.

Submitted by Tormentos at 2017-11-01 18:29:42 EDT (#)

1. Children - always causing trouble. Something should be done.

B. Wandering around in public with your situational awareness subverted with thoughts of televisions shows is sort of asking for trouble.

█. Perhaps a leg-mounted death ray is in order.



Kirk: One day your wife is making you your favorite meal, the next day
you're thawin'a hot dog in a gas station sink.

Homer: Oh, that's tough, pal. But it's never gonna happen to me.

A Milhouse Divided