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Almost There...

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-28 22:31:53 EST
Rating: -1.13 on 8 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Please listen to this while you read... Iron Solomon- "Almost There"


Y'all don't realize how much I lost for this...

I lost everything for this. I've lost friends, girlfriends, people in my life, respect, money, my old career path, and such just for following this industry. Other's have lost more...

I think I deserve a little respect. Who else has the boldness, or balls to pursue their goal? I wouldn't say "dreams", since it isn't about that. I'm not delusional like that. I'm here for the money. Simple, it's dinero, that chicken, that' cheddar, the green. That's it.

The best advice I've ever heard about this industry, this business, the devil's nest, was this, "The only thing real in this business, are the money and the miles".. that's the truth. Those words echoed in my soul when I heard them. It kind of changed me, into a metamorphous of sorts. I guess you could say it gave me clarity. The clarity to realize that there are no "friends' in this industry. They'll never be. It's about the money. If you aren't here for that, and only that, then get out. GET OUT!

That's all I can say. I'm looking back on the last 3 years, and I'm a bit shocked, and a bit hurt, and busted, and my psyche has changed. I've written at this point, 6 movies, and 7 pilots. I've only shown 1 script so far to those demons in Hollywood, and at the agencies. The one script I sent out, isn't nearly the best of all of them, and that is what has gotten my name out into the field. I was offered some money and I declined it. Sometimes I wish I took that money, but I wanted more.

I want that Rolls Royce that dances in the sunlight, at autumn, and at dusk. I was never a "money guy", but as I've gotten older, no children, no significant other, I've realized that I want those things. Money is like a looming shadow in the back of my head. I don't know what to do for it, but I know, I cannot live a, "9-5" existence, nope.. not me. Sometimes I wish I would have gotten into the drug game, maybe made a couple thousand, and bought something's, or started my own company... but, I didn't. Not because I have some moral objection to that life style, just always thought I'd get into something more lucrative.

My writing has gotten better, just had another meeting, and declined that offer as well. I have to own at least 20% percent of my product. I was told by a two time Emmy winning producer...

"Perkman, you can't get that deal... in fact, if you get that deal, come back to me, within 2 years, and I'll make you a better one... but you aren't getting that deal"

To which I replied, "I'll get better than that, within 6-8 months" to which he smiled, and gave a clever grin, then gave me his personal number. He's cool beans, but a hustler nevertheless.

I feel like I'm fighting so hard for this dream, and for what's left of my friends, and I cannot get any closer. It's like I'm in the ocean during a giant tide, and no matter how hard I paddle or swim towards the shore(which is their friendship and our old closeness), I cannot get any closer. I keep losing them, slowly, but surely, no matter how nice I am, how many texts I send, and how loyal I proclaim myself to be, and the actions I show them... I'm going to lose them. I keep fighting to hold on to them, in this stream of despair, and consciousness, and my friends are growing older, getting wiser, growing up, and here I sit, chasing this dream... aging, getting older, but my mind frame is still that of an optimistic kid, asking questions, and hoping for the best, or coping is a better way to state it. I looked at LinkedIn, and other websites, and I see my friends have expanded their horizons, they all look so sophisticated, and have grown up, and are living their lives. Mine is still stagnant, or that's just how I feel it.

Sometimes the world doesn't seem real to me, and the internet, and places I go are the "real places", whereas in the real world, everyone rolls their eyes at me, and tell me, "Well, good luck, you'll make it!", as they giggle behind my back, and mutter that it's impossible. As I go on the internet and I let out the true me, the "Real McCoy" that is Perkman, and I get the true feedback.... and I take it all in, and find solace, companionship, and fight within it.

I've become friends with a random 49 year old, fat, black , overweight, chef from Georgia (Let's be honest, a cook at a nursing home), through the net, we'd talk of writing, and such, now I wonder and worry about him at times. He show's me that the world isn't fair, and the good get "eaten". he implores me with his wisdom to go back to school, get another degree, or a skill. I tell him, that the "fight" isn't out of me yet, and I'll write until "I die", I guess is my resolve.

I have all these idea's, but no one to make the plans with. All my friends are trying to create their own "heaven", with strangers, and not the ones that truly care. Is this a ploy by the elites? Or what? I can have about a million on the table with 5 of the friends I had from my fraternity, and I have plans to... but as of now, they're all trying and starting businesses, tech companies, and their going under...since we just don't work together. But we're too consumed trying to be our own "Kings" as the republicans wish to bring back into our fated American lands, instead of working together, and being a comrade in the war... the war that is life.

I recall I had to go to this fraternity thing, across the nation for our chapter. They kept talking about "On this Journey... on this Journey!", and I recall my friends and I scoffing with our young arrogance, and speaking of how asinine it was, and is, and how "old and out of touch" these old men were... now that I've seen the world a lot more, and years since sitting in that chair, being ignorant, and disrespectful to our lecturer... I can see it now. I understand it now... This life is a journey, and who is with you on it? Whom has your back? I've tried for so many damn times to change people, fix them, teach them loyalty, get them on my side... but none of it works... Either it's in your or it's not...Either you have the heart to dash in front of an arrow for your friend, or your child, or your love... or you don't. The movies lied, most don't learn courage, most have it innately in them... I've decided to be a warrior, noble, funny, and unwavering. I'm still fighting uber, and I just polished my blade... bring it on, Hollywood... I'm keeping at least my 20 percent....because of one thing I was taught in business by a multi-millionaire I had the privilege to have lunch with, as he lamented to me, and showed me the gravity of these words...

"Perkman, the price is the price..."

"What if they don't have the money?"

"Then wait until they get it... the price is the price"...

I guess this is what it feels like...when you're almost there....


Review This Item




Submitted by Pubis at 2017-03-07 08:21:47 EST (#)


Submitted by Pubis at 2017-03-07 08:16:56 EST (#)

I thought this scrawny fuck died of AIDS a while agi

Submitted by rockcandy47 at 2017-03-05 05:29:07 EST (#)

saw the title "almost there" and hoping to read about woman approaching orgasm......oops

Submitted by Dru M at 2017-02-18 06:10:15 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by shitfuck at 2017-02-10 00:52:52 EST (#)
Rating: -2

You spelt 'you're' wrong.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2016-12-30 10:45:32 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Your commitment to a dead website is inspiring.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2016-12-29 21:31:52 EST (#)
Rating: -2

I thought you retired to start working on the 19th floor in some Beverly Hills hi-rise, pedaling classic scripts...like this unreadable mess-fest?

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2016-12-29 18:08:11 EST (#)

Fat AND overweight? But how?

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-29 14:25:56 EST (#)

Tormentos- Fair enough. No hard feelings, and I feel you. Also the, "Raccoon story" wasn't fiction, that happened, I had to get a lot of painful shots for that (2 in my butt, one in the sidenof my thigh, then 2 more in the front of my thighs.. also, about 4 times of followup shots.. they all hurt, and it sucked).

I guess in my life, the " Truth is stranger than fiction", but I digress. I see your point. But I don't spend hours on some of these, these are just some thoughts I have.

Submitted by Tormentos at 2016-12-29 09:13:43 EST (#)

For an insult to be effective, Perkie, the person it is directed towards has to care what the person sending it thinks. I take from you any power to insult me you may have thought you had, by telling you that I do not care what you think about me. See how that works? Probably not.

Now then: I do not make a habit of 'spitting' on the efforts of others. In fact, I've lauded many of those writers who have posted good stuff here on Uber in the past. You, obviously and for good reason, are not counted among them. I'll even tell you that I would probably not have bothered to piss on your sausage-fingered typing efforts either, as honestly awful as they are, were they not so maniacally self-centered, so full of mewling cowardly denial of personal responsibility, so painfully badly written, and so mind-numbingly repetitive.

The post you made about the raccoon - that, unlike pretty much everything else you've ever posted here, had possibilities. You fucked up the presentation by failing to get someone who could actually write to tell the story for you, of course, but that was to be expected because that's what you do. Perkie finds a pearl, drops it, and it breaks. Utterly unsurprising.

No, Perkie, as writers go, you're clearly the guy who cleans the toilets. But toilets occasionally need cleaning and that means you're needed, so you have that going for you. "Which is nice." Perhaps, if you try cleaning the toilets that talented writers use, you might get a little on you.

But whatever, kid. In all seriousness: would it kill you to just try checking your spelling, your grammar, your syntax, and to maybe proofread aloud before you mash the Submit button? You probably don't know this, but real writers run those checks every time they write anything. I mean, how exactly could doing those simple things make the dreck you post any worse?

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-29 07:28:00 EST (#)

Tormentos- You could be right, but I assure you, you're wrong. But alas, think what you want. Some people in life get their rocks off spitting on people doing stuff, while they sit and do nothing.

I'm pretty good, since WME, UTA, and CAA have told me. Doesn't matter what a poor person, or a person not in the "industry" thinks of my writing style, or even me. You have no power, can help no one in a meaningful way, have no idea how this industry is run, cannot even name any uber users you claim are making it in "film", non at all. Just made up bullshit, to try and sound clever and shit on someone, oh... how so clever of you?

It'd behoove you to shut your face, but you won't, also... Doesn't matter. I'm not a director, so no M. Night for me. I sell idea's, shows, movies, they take it, an make it whatever they want. I just get paid in the starter part of the process. You have no qualifications to judge my work, in fact, you probably think some assholes on here are "great writers" since you like some of their slop... they're not, you only are, if you're making money, or are getting meetings (Which I am). I write for Hollywood, they have different rules, criteria, story structure, that you know nothing about. Just because I post somethings on uber (Just some idea's, and just thoughts I have to write), doesn't mean it's the stuff I give out or show. This is just a fun place to me, that's it. Some of you assholes say this place is nothing, then you lament and whine, about how you're superior, or someone should bow down to you... You're nothing.You do not matter.

Just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm a loser like you, or those that hate on people actually making it. It just shows your pathetic jealousy, that's fine, since i don't give a shit about you, and you're reading my work, so talk shit, doesn't matter. You're nothing to me, and nothing in the west, and in fact, nothing in this world... less than a fly. Deal with that, thanks bud.

Submitted by Tormentos at 2016-12-29 07:16:07 EST (#)
Rating: -2

You use "I" 66 times in this post. My browser has a "Find" function, and that's how I know. The Obama-level self-absorption you display in your posts, this no exception, is just one of the reasons they are almost unreadable. More importantly, it's a clear sign that the authoring deal you say you're holding out for will almost certainly remain forever out of your grasp. No production company in their right corporate mind will give you 20% of the take if they have to first rewrite 98% of the script to scrape all the turd off the kernel of an idea you may have accidentally buried inside your MS. If you want to be a successful writer, you should probably first set about learning to write.

There have been a few Uberfolk who went on to get paying writing gigs, you know. Books, commercials, TV, indie films, that sort of thing. If you read the stuff they put here back in the day, you can tell they had some level of talent - even when they were just puking something onto the front page, the creativity was there to be seen. You, not so much. The stuff you put here shows that what you have is the near polar opposite of writing talent. You can (and probably will) say that you don't waste your good stuff on Uber. Whatever, kid. If you had writing talent, you'd know that writing talent doesn't work like that.

Hey, come to think of it, maybe indie film is the route for you. It worked for M. Night Shyalaman. He's a famous Hollywood movie guy now and he writes about 80% as badly as you do. Took him 30 years of failing to sell a story and of making really awful shorts to finally get famous, though. Do you have that level of dedication? No, of course not. You want money and you want it now, like you said. Ah, well. "The world needs ditch diggers too." Know who wrote that? Somebody with talent, that's who.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2016-12-29 06:26:49 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Dash in front of an arrow... that may be your best idea yet. But don't do it for friends or loved ones - do it for the common good. Thanks in advance.

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-29 01:56:38 EST (#)

Anglophile- How about you write something? Or don't. Someone has to keep this website alive... you're welcome, loser.

Submitted by Anglophile at 2016-12-29 01:51:46 EST (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-28 22:32:04 EST (#)


Marge: We're just going to have to cut down on luxuries.

Homer: Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for
diseases she doesn't even have.

Lisa's Pony