Drive... and ambition.Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2016-12-06 17:48:31 EST
Rating: -0.38 on 8 ratings (14 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
Please listen to this whilst you read... Wale-"Ambition"
I can't explain it. On this path I've lost about every friend that I had... I was that popular guy in college, knew everyone, invited to any party I wanted to attend, and an athlete. I had a girl back then, thought we'd make it. But I changed the script on her, randomly... changed the channel. She wanted to stay, but this drive, this ambition, this " I need to live!" in me, made me end it.
Just had a girl that creates fashion for celebs. She's the girl you cringe about, when they show on OK magazine, "Whom wore it better?" as they show you how a plethora of stars wore the same dress, she's the stylist, that cuts and shapes the dresses to fit the celebs bodies, perfectly. She was currently working for Celine Dion', when I left her. Her hair was falling out, as her boss (the head of the brand), was some fat, asshole, gay dude, that the more weight he lost (He was, "Java the Hut" Status), the bigger dick he became. I tried to guide her through it, but I didn't give a fuck, and I rarely saw her, since this industry takes up all your time. It ended... sorry, Kat. Perkman couldn't be there for you.
I digress. The funny thing about this path, is that the friends that are coming back into my life, are the ones I had as a child, that vacant lot shit, the kids I played "Hide and Go seek" with. We're all older now, but it seems the world is so fake, and all the people we met over the years amounted to nothing, so we cling to the past, like a five year old clings to his favorite blankie. Clutching it, for remembrance, and some love. That's what it is.
I've noticed now, I go to Venice Beach, and sit on the beach, and just stare at sunsets. I just saw a commercial for Nike's new "Space Jam shoes", and one of the kids in the commercial, was this kid I used to play basketball against, and he was a little "thug" kid. He'd be out there, being loud, hustling, and talking smack.. only 19 years old. But was funny, I guess he finally realized how everyone kept telling him as I did, six months ago, "you should be an actor", well I guess he took the call. That's the weirdest thing about being in Los Angeles, in this industry. I used to think as a child, that these actors were in this "weird, T.V. World" and they were impossible to meet, or see. As I've acclimated to the area, and the place, I see people on the streets that were in this movie, or that show, or this commercial. It's funny, and all weird at the same time.
I told my family that if I didn't make it this year, I was getting out of the industry. So it looks like I have 8 months to make it happen. Then my "backup plan" commences (on some Lex Luther, shit). Knowing my luck, right when I decide to leave, that's when I'll get what I'm looking for.
I don't know what gave me this drive...this fight for what I truly want... a life that is perfect everyday... but, they don't tell you about the restless nights, the waking up feeling like a failure, the anger, the despair, and the people that roll their eyes, as they leave you... No one tells you that part of "Following your dreams", maybe it'd discourage you, or if you knew the price beforehand, you probably wouldn't even go.
I've lost friends, family members, and careers doing this... the funny thing is, after the pain of wanting to quit subsides, the rage, and desire of a champion stays within... I guess that's the drive that gave Genghis Khan the nerve to conquer most of the known world, or Einstein to create the atom bomb, or Caesar to have the balls to take over Rome as an absolute monarch... it's this drive. It's either in you or it isn't'.
I know there are people that scoff at me, my dreams, and my drive, and try to convince me, that working a job, 9-5, is better since I'll have a roof over my head, a few trinkets, maybe a dog, and 2.5 kids in my life, and a wife that dreams of fucking other dudes, but stays with me, for her nobility... sorry, that's not for me. That to me is literally death. I wanted more, and I will strive for more... Just this drive in me...
I don't blame you for being you though, and the mundane life... not everyone has the blood of conquers within their veins.. we're the ones that get remembered, while you get forgotten..., Richard Branson.
Fight for your love, fight for your friends, and fight for your dreams.