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I'm Me, and You're Glad You're Not

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 08:49:48 EDT
Rating: 1.5 on 7 ratings (28 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Hello everyone!

I'm JonnyX, I've been on this site for over 10 years now. You may remember me from such posts as https://ubersite.com/m/128819 where I posted a picture of a woman I haven't had sex with, and https://ubersite.com/m/125244 , where I posted a picture of a woman I haven't had sex with and https://ubersite.com/m/69055 where, well, you guessed it! I'm probably going to do the same again today.

I thought I'd tell you about a typical day for a Californian Executive like myself. It starts everyday with getting out of bed (alone lololoolol) and then checking Ubersite to see if anyone has commented on my posts. I then plus two myself a few times, to up my average rating (which really really really matters to me).

I then get into my Californian Porsche van (did I tell you I drive a Porsche llolooololol?), and driving on the highway to my busy corporate office. The wind blows in my thinning, greasy, ginger hair and I follow a few women around some blocks. My favorite Californian women to stalk are the ones who are Californian jogging lololololololo. They really get me going lololooolool! I look through the heavily tinted windows of my BMW van and idly toy with myself. I like to model myself on Buffalo Bill, except obviously I'm an Executive for MicroIBM! lololololololol.

Anyway, I pull into the basement level of my building in my Audi van and park in my reserved space (it has a disabled badge because of my extreme ugliness :( ), and then I get ready for a day of work!

I sit in my office with my other executive, Juan. Juan came over the fence a few years ago and has nearly got to the same standard of English as me. We watch cable all day. It's usually the same channel, black and white (CLASSIC) footage of cars and people walking to and from their cars. It's a difficult job for me, watching the women in their high heels really distracts me from my usual duties of checking people's parking permits and constantly refreshing my ubersite posts on my Super Modern PC IBM. (Did I ever tell you I turned down IBM before they became big?)

Once I have checked in the morning people off my list (Because I am an EXECUTIVE lolololol) I start my usual stalking activities. I go on Ubersite, and try and find some real names. That's what I really need to start phoning people at work and asking for their supervisor! LOLOLOLOLOL (I'm hoping to get whysie's digits soon so I can get him fired too) LOLOLOLOLOL HI WHYSIE!

I've got Jpig fired, and Oathmeal as well (who I'm SUPER jealous of because he's more ginger than me), I've harassed Jack McCallum as well, and Caulaincourt, who is my little Frenchie! he was my favorite because his name is LaFlamme and that was easy to find on linkedin, and facebook, and twitter and my other usual stalking haunts. lolololololol I used to follow Cookielass, and HilarityEnsues and lots of other uber people who had identified as female, like me ! LOLOLOLOL, which is a good funny joke LOLOLOL

I do lol a lot, I think it's because I haven't got over how much I stalked Loren, and every other woman on Ubersite. LOLOLOLOL it's like a reflex now.

Then I google for 'lingerie' and take a random picture which I post on Ubersite and plus two myself immediately, to let the others know that they have to vote the same way. That's the rules of Ubersite. lollolll

I delete a few comments of people calling me a pedophile BECAUSE I'M DEFINATELY NOT A PEDO. I just collect pictures of young girls to share with Juan in the office.

I don't like this joanniexy character. I think they're making fun of me, but I haven't really worked it out. I'm pretty sure it's Oathmeal though, but because he doesn't have a job, I can't phone his supervisor again and get him shitcanned. That makes me really really really angry and upset and aroused, but I'm sure when he gets a REAL EXECUTIVE JOB like me, JonnyX, i'll be able to get him fired again. OLOLOLOLOLOL. They'll never work out who I am because I am super careful to keep my identity hidden as a California Executive of Huge Reputation across all of Sacramento.

Here is a picture that clearly isn't me lolololololool, but I like to imagine it is. At the end of the day, I get into my Mercedes van and drive back to my exclusive one bedroom Executive suite and google for some more pictures of women that I can pretend I could fuck lololololololol.

jonnyx is a pedo.jpg
jonnyx is a pedo.jpg

Review This Item




Submitted by Dru M at 2019-02-19 12:14:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Plus fucking two.

Submitted by Dru M at 2016-01-31 17:56:11 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Tarka at 2015-08-11 02:32:17 EDT (#)

What the shit is wrong with everyone?

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2015-08-10 18:01:38 EDT (#)

silvr skrapped the bed with another boring comment

fag below

Submitted by JonnyX at 2015-08-10 12:41:48 EDT (#)

oh, and dont forget your alter willartstorg as well.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2015-08-10 10:25:02 EDT (#)

Bubba has become vernacular on Uber, Bubba.
Even if it's not you, it's still you.

You're that meta.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2015-08-10 02:24:59 EDT (#)

SilvrWolf, I just love reading comments by know-it-alls like you. You seriously believe I am the JonnyX wannabe, and that just cracks me up. Believe whatever you wish, dude, but sleep well knowing you are wrong. I don't post much now, but if I do, it's under this name. No alters. Have a nice night, Mr. Intellect.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2015-08-09 01:10:16 EDT (#)

I can't understand a word you're saying.
You're just babbling incoherently...
Oh, you're a dead man, Burns. Oh, you're dead! You're dead,

Submitted by RoadSong at 2015-08-09 01:07:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

California Executive of Huge Reputation across all of Sacramento.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun at 2015-08-07 13:24:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Meh post, but Derpman's threat really did make me smile. Mostly at the thought he has a 'friend'.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2015-08-06 18:12:51 EDT (#)


"Uh oh. Jeanneee has backup. I'd better break out some reinforcements."

Oh, Bubba. You're the only one on Uber that has freakish meltdowns AND immediately turns into an OCD derp-o-matic at every little slight, real or imagined. And how long have you been doing it, a decade now? For you to call out JonnyX is laughable, at best. Nearly your entire posting history has been one psychotic episode after another and not only do you have the audacity to judge others, you have the unmitigated gall to question others' judgement of yourself.

Jesus Christ, man. You're old now. Go spend some time with the grandkids or something. Play some shuffleboard at the senior center. Do ANYTHING but waste your days here by feeding your various and sundry deficiencies like some addled junkie.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2015-08-06 16:24:44 EDT (#)

You'd know better than I.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 16:07:55 EDT (#)

I suppose you get the same sense of deja vu every time Bret does a post? Like acid reflux.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 16:07:11 EDT (#)

I get that with every Jonny X post. Deja vu, a yawn, an unsettled sickening feeling, like when you look at a picture of Bill Cosby or any other found out pedophile, then irritation at his latest attempts at 'comedy'.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2015-08-06 16:04:46 EDT (#)

I get a bad case of deja vu every time I come back here.

Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2015-08-06 15:48:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

JonnyX got Jaypig, and Oathmeal fired? Scumbag.

Let it be known, if you did anything on this site to affect my real life, or my profession, I'd find you, I'd pay Bart, I'd have my tech friend (works for Facebook) find your IP address, and decode it, to find you, and fucking kick the living shit out of you, kill your dog, and destroy your life.

I can't believe he's done this, and he's not banned. Insane. You're a piece of shit, JonnyX and a cuckold. Disgusting. Something is really wrong with you, now I know why everyone on here hates you.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 15:37:54 EDT (#)

Ubersite - where you go to have your psychoses diagnosed by internet doctors.

Where did you get your MD again Jeannnee? And you Silvr? You both sound highly educated to me and not farmers or property managers.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2015-08-06 15:26:39 EDT (#)

loves that perkmanmeat below


Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2015-08-06 15:19:20 EDT (#)

I didn't sleep with Bret, and I agree with her.

Your own obliviousness to your freely exposed psychotic/neurotic behavior and your proclivity to equivocate, project and deflect when called on it could indicate an undiagnosed psychiatric condition. Obsession, compulsion, logically fallacious defenses, lack of self-awareness... that's quite the Crazy Stew you're cooking there.

And just like dealing with any psycho, it was mildly amusing at first. It quickly became boring. Now it's just kind of sad. I just don't want to see a headline reading, "Man in Donald Duck Costume Auto-Erotically Asphyxiates Himself While Pressure Cooking Neighbor's Cat" followed by your mysterious lack of posting on the site anymore.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 14:59:39 EDT (#)

You slept with Bret. You are in no place to make judgments young lady.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2015-08-06 14:09:09 EDT (#)

Because you seem to have an untreated mental problem, perhaps dissociative identity disorder. Consult your doctor.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 12:59:09 EDT (#)

Because I've seemingly been obsessed with Ubersite for 10 years and have done nothing except post pictures of lingerie, lie about things and get people fired IRL?

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2015-08-06 12:56:22 EDT (#)

I'm not defending anyone. Honestly I'm concerned about you. (To whatever extent one can be concerned about an anonymous stranger.)

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 12:49:22 EDT (#)

It's cute that you defend him. Was he nice to you once Jeanneee?

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2015-08-06 12:46:21 EDT (#)

I wish I were as interested in anything as your are in Ubersite's own JonnyX.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2015-08-06 11:18:19 EDT (#)


I would very much like to snort a line of coke off that young lady's hip.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 08:52:55 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I stalk Jimthefiend too.

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 08:50:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Pfft. Now you tell me.

-- Homer Simpson, finding out that working at a nuclear
plant can make one sterile
I Married Marge