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I'm Me, and You're Glad You're Not

Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 08:00:36 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 1 rating (1 review) (V)

Hello everyone!

I'm JonnyX, I've been on this site for over 10 years now. You may remember me from such posts as https://ubersite.com/m/128819 where I posted a picture of a woman I haven't had sex with, and https://ubersite.com/m/125244 , where I posted a picture of a woman I haven't had sex with and https://ubersite.com/m/69055 where, well, you guessed it! I'm probably going to do the same again today.

I thought I'd tell you about a typical day for a Californian Executive like myself. It starts everyday with getting out of bed (alone lololoolol) and then checking Ubersite to see if anyone has commented on my posts. I then plus two myself a few times, to up my average rating (which really really really matters to me).

I then get into my Californian Porsche van (did I tell you I drive a Porsche llolooololol?), and driving on the highway to my busy corporate office. The wind blows in my thinning, greasy, ginger hair and I follow a few women around some blocks. My favorite Californian women to stalk are the ones who are Californian jogging lololololololo. They really get me going lololooolool! I look through the heavily tinted windows of my BMW van and idly toy with myself. I like to model myself on Buffalo Bill, except obviously I'm an Executive for MicroIBM! lololololololol.

Anyway, I pull into the basement level of my building in my Audi van and park in my reserved space (it has a disabled badge because of my extreme ugliness :( ), and then I get ready for a day of work!

I sit in my office with my other executive, Juan. Juan came over the fence a few years ago and has nearly got to the same standard of English as me. We watch cable all day. It's usually the same channel, black and white (CLASSIC) footage of cars and people walking to and from their cars. It's a difficult job for me, watching the women in their high heels really distracts me from my usual duties of checking people's parking permits and constantly refreshing my ubersite posts on my Super Modern PC IBM. (Did I ever tell you I turned down IBM before they became big?)

Once I have checked in the morning people off my list (Because I am an EXECUTIVE lolololol) I start my usual stalking activities. I go on Ubersite, and try and find some real names. That's what I really need to start phoning people at work and asking for their supervisor! LOLOLOLOLOL (I'm hoping to get whysie's digits soon so I can get him fired too) LOLOLOLOLOL HI WHYSIE!

I've got Jpig fired, and Oathmeal as well (who I'm SUPER jealous of because he's more ginger than me), I've harassed Jack McCallum as well, and Caulaincourt, who is my little Frenchie! he was my favorite because his name is LaFlamme and that was easy to find on linkedin, and facebook, and twitter and my other usual stalking haunts. lolololololol I used to follow Cookielass, and HilarityEnsues and lots of other uber people who had identified as female, like me ! LOLOLOLOL, which is a good funny joke LOLOLOL

I do lol a lot, I think it's because I haven't got over how much I stalked Loren, and every other woman on Ubersite. LOLOLOLOL it's like a reflex now.

Then I google for 'lingerie' and take a random picture which I post on Ubersite and plus two myself immediately, to let the others know that they have to vote the same way. That's the rules of Ubersite. lollolll

I delete a few comments of people calling me a pedophile BECAUSE I'M DEFINATELY NOT A PEDO. I just collect pictures of young girls to share with Juan in the office.

I don't like this joanniexy character. I think they're making fun of me, but I haven't really worked it out. I'm pretty sure it's Oathmeal though, but because he doesn't have a job, I can't phone his supervisor again and get him shitcanned. That makes me really really really angry and upset and aroused, but I'm sure when he gets a REAL EXECUTIVE JOB like me, JonnyX, i'll be able to get him fired again. OLOLOLOLOLOL. They'll never work out who I am because I am super careful to keep my identity hidden as a California Executive of Huge Reputation across all of Sacramento.

Here is a picture that clearly isn't me lolololololool, but I like to imagine it is. At the end of the day, I get into my Mercedes van and drive back to my exclusive one bedroom Executive suite and google for some more pictures of women that I can pretend I could fuck lololololololol.

jonnyx is a pedo.jpg
jonnyx is a pedo.jpg


Submitted by Dru M at 2015-08-06 08:01:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Look, Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband, I'm sorry
about the time I tried to make gravy in the bathtub, I'm sorry I used
your wedding dress to wax the car, and I'm sorry -- oh well, let's
just say I'm sorry for the whole marriage up to this point.

-- Homer Simpson
Marge on the Lam