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The Guy at the Bar

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2015-01-14 13:03:57 EST
Rating: 1.73 on 27 ratings (36 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Me and a guy at the bar had sex. Gentle. Rough. Stuff in between--like a gradient. We had only met in the coat check area a few moments before, but it was instant chemistry. He was all over me and I was all over him--arms and hands and legs all entwining together, his touch like the first bite of a really good hoagie, delicious and pleasing (but a little too much crust).

We did it in the bathroom. The light flickered in a sexy way as we entered, making it feel all the more dirty. The handicap stall provided the backdrop for our love affair: expansive yet confining, a locked closet within, likely leading to mops and disinfectant and other sensual cleaning supplies.

We took off all our clothes and used the space to examine our bodies. We unconsciously decided to assume sumo poses, because this wasn't just a prelim to sex, this was a battle for orgasms, and in any one-night stand there are no guarantees: it's best to be the one who comes first.

"Hey, I need to get in there."

Someone was knocking on the door to the stall. Apparently the smell of sex had lured a visitor into our unseemly realm.

"I have to shit and the other toilet is broken! Find somewhere else to fuck!"

We smiled at each other our bodies glistening with our passion, my mate's penis 3/4 full (or 1/4 empty for you miserable pessimists).

"Here!" My soon to be lover, my sexual reason for being, took off his fake leg and threw it under the door. His stump waved around for air "I need this stall. Handicapped!"

"Jesus Christ!"

Oh it was so hot.

He hopped over and we joined together. The man without was now beating the door, presumably with the fake leg.

"Fuck you and your goddamn leg. Get the fuck out."

My man grunted and lifted me against the side of the stall. I reached up and grabbed the top because, come on, one leg. The stall shook with our rhythm, a lustful creaking. The man outside tried to pry my fingertips with the toes of the fake leg. but I just kept changing grips.

"Get out!"

Get off, you mean. We went at it like it was our last time--and it likely was. The sweat, the smells, the guy who was now hitting my hands with the leg, all combined into a orchestra of passion.

"Ughhhh"

"Arrrrrrrrggg."

"Fuuuuck"

Me coming, him coming, the guy shitting himself...in that order.

We collapsed to the ground, our bodies spent. Glancing over I saw the man now. The leg dangled from one hand in a perfect metaphor for impotency. His other hand was down the back of his pants holding his shit in.

Me and my lover kissed one more time, sealing the event. We dressed, we walked / hopped out. The other man relinquished the leg without a fight and sidled into the stall. We pretended not to know each other, this other man, clearly being my dad. I decided I would pay for the appetizers to make up for it.







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Submitted by TigerLilly at 2016-04-05 21:54:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Why is bathroom sex so grossly intriguing? And people with one leg?

Submitted by Loren at 2015-05-23 15:27:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Ally come back. We need more.

Submitted by Sphagnum at 2015-01-28 03:10:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

'Nuff said

Submitted by Loren at 2015-01-24 11:41:57 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by OathMeal at 2015-01-23 17:44:40 EST (#)

Creepiest old geezer ALIVE below.
----------------------------

I really hope you meant Shlongy...

Submitted by Shlongy at 2015-01-23 19:26:24 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Favorite song, Lonesome Loser by Little River Band, below.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2015-01-23 17:44:40 EST (#)

Creepiest old geezer ALIVE below.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2015-01-23 17:35:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Was it better than the orgasm Shlongy gave you, Loren1, IF that is your real name?

Submitted by Loren at 2015-01-22 14:15:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

"...this other man, clearly being my dad"

HAHAHA!!! Fuck, I am still laughing.

Submitted by Loren at 2015-01-22 14:14:13 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This was fucking fantastic. I rarely, and I mean RARELY laugh out loud, and this made me laugh out twice. And I had an orgasm, so thanks a bunch!

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2015-01-22 10:50:37 EST (#)

Awwwww. Got it.

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2015-01-22 02:55:44 EST (#)

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2015-01-20 13:23:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah, I don't know what that means.

=========

David Keith was in Firestarter. In that movie he had said powers.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2015-01-21 22:43:36 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh, knock it off.

Submitted by Sage at 2015-01-21 22:14:37 EST (#)

Hi Oathy! I am doing well as per usual. How YOU doin'? ;) ;) <3 xxoo

Submitted by Mr T pities jonnytexmex the old child toucher at 2015-01-21 16:58:54 EST (#)

MR T SHOW UP BECUASE OATMEAL SUCKAH CREEPING UP THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Submitted by OathMeal at 2015-01-20 23:08:04 EST (#)

How YOU doin, below.

Submitted by Sage at 2015-01-20 22:02:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

This here was one hell of a story. Good job.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2015-01-20 13:23:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah, I don't know what that means.

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2015-01-19 22:59:30 EST (#)

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2015-01-19 20:12:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Neither of you is Jack Parkman.

======================

At least I don't get nosebleeds while using my mind-control powers.

Submitted by Tom Sorrell at 2015-01-19 20:12:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Neither of you is Jack Parkman.

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2015-01-18 22:37:47 EST (#)

Submitted by whysenheimer at 2015-01-18 16:48:07 EST (#)
Rating: -2

you're no keith

=========

You're no David.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2015-01-18 16:48:07 EST (#)
Rating: -2

you're no keith

Submitted by Ducky at 2015-01-18 01:19:39 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by rob_berg at 2015-01-16 00:24:40 PST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Jeanneee at 2015-01-14 13:08:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

gross

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2015-01-17 19:05:07 EST (#)
Rating: 2

:D

Submitted by Unabonger at 2015-01-16 17:13:41 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I've missed you so.

Submitted by tenofspades at 2015-01-16 16:40:44 EST (#)
Rating: 2

good story

Submitted by EmissionImpossible at 2015-01-16 06:40:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

poop

Submitted by rob_berg at 2015-01-16 03:24:40 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Jeanneee at 2015-01-14 13:08:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

gross

Submitted by Shlongy at 2015-01-15 22:12:37 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Only "person" that acknowledges oathmeal's existence, below.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2015-01-15 12:00:41 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Shlongy is a pussy.

Submitted by Flack at 2015-01-14 21:44:09 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I can dig this.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2015-01-14 17:52:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Was this about Shlongy?

PS. Show me your snatch.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2015-01-14 17:20:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Horrifically awe inspiring.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2015-01-14 14:12:58 EST (#)
Rating: 2

'bout time you got back - we've been overrun with shitty writing

Submitted by Habeeb Thomas PhD at 2015-01-14 14:05:51 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Sounds like the happenings at UberFest

Submitted by AllyJeans at 2015-01-14 13:10:18 EST (#)

Submitted by Jeanneee at 2015-01-14 13:08:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

gross

-----------

Little bit.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2015-01-14 13:08:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

gross


Marge: Name one of your child's friends.

Homer: Uh, let's see, Bart's friends ... Well, there's the fat kid
with the thing; uh, the little wiener whose always got his
hands in his pockets.

Saturdays of Thunder