FUCKING EAT THIS!- Recipes by Flack part 1: Brotein Chicken MuffinsSubmitted by Flack at 2015-01-05 22:21:15 EST
Rating: 1.28 on 8 ratings (13 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
So tonight I made this shit for the first time and it was fucking delish. Surprisingly, its easy and fairly cheap to make as well. All you need is to have an open goddamned mind (and a bunch of ingredients and shit).
Here is what you need:
Muffin tray (I have a small 6-muffin tray, works bad ass)
Two eggs (large)
1 lb of ground chicken
1 stalk celery
2 green onion sprouts
1/4 cup shredded cheese
Some seasonings, doesn't matter what or how much but I used:
1 tsp crushed red pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp lemon pepper seasoning
Ok, so here's how you do it:
Preheat your oven to 350. While the oven warms up (much like the women I cook for), Get a big ass bowl and throw the all the ingredients in it. Make sure you chop up the celery and green onions real good, dumbass. If you put the entire stalk into one muffin depression, than you're a fucking retard. Next, wash your motherfucking hands! I know your dirty sons of bitches don't give a fuck, but not rinsing the shit off your hand after you wipe is gross as hell. Take your clean hands and mix all that shit in the bowl. Its gonna feel gross, but stop being such a pussy. This shit is gonna taste fucking titties, man. If you're a little bitch, you can use a whisk, but then you have to admit you're a complete fag and it'll take longer. Take some cooking spray (i use PAM olive oil because I'm trying to slim my fat ass down) and grease the fuck out of the muffin tray like it was an underage transsexual Thai whore (actually a light coating will do, you'll need the spray to make more shit for my next recipe). Now spoon whats in the bowl into the muffin tray you fucking dummy. After its all in, throw that piece of shit in the oven for 30-35 minutes.
After its done, you got about 6 muffins that are chock full of fucking brotein and low in shitty fat. Each muffin averages about 90 calories, give or take. I ate one with some brown rice and sweet potato. I put the rest in sandwich baggies in the fridge for me to enjoy at work tomorrow.
Guys, I'm telling you I don't even like egg and, though it looks eggy, you can barely taste it. Instead you has a blast of flavor that bends your tongue over and rapes its tight little asshole.
By the way, you're welcome.