In My Professional Opinion - I'd Say Go Fuck Yourself.Submitted by OathMeal at 2014-03-07 00:35:46 EST
Rating: 0.66 on 10 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
Career and lifelong stupidity takes effort.
You don't just fall into that line of work. You can't really even be born into it, regardless of how much of a dolt your dad was.
No. The most profound of all idiocy requires serious commitment. "Sure I'll suck your dick for a few Oreos; we *do* live in Salina, Kansas after all"-grade intelligence deficiency is truly something to behold. Admit it - one has to fight the urge to look away.
The garden variety mediocrity of, say, a barely adequate entry-level call center employee versus what you might find in Panama City during spring break after a whippet binge: who is working harder at it?
Honestly - who?
I met a traveler once who shared with me what he considered to be the apex of his very life experience. The most ultimate apprehension of belonging and connection to the universe - the Godhead - an embark into the deepest, dankest corners of the intellectual endeavor.
It was watching The Great Outdoors on magic mushrooms.
I cannot deny him the resplendence of his emotional journey with Dan Aykroyd and John Candy. I would have zero legitimacy in doing so, anyway. But the rest of this guy's life - every single moment in his living heretofor - will be compared to that single, 1-hour and 33-minute zenith of pure lucidity.
I think that's kind of sad.
And this brings me to the bridge. You know, that part of the song that doesn't really sound like the rest of the song. It's there because if it wasn't, everything would be so goddamned repetitive that there'd be no WAY some throng of tween girls would EVER stand in a circle at the skating rink and giggle through glitter-glossed lips to it.
The bridge ties it all together, man.
If you own a zoo, apparently you can rent pandas from China for the princely sum of about a million dollars a year, per panda. That's right - fucking panda rentals, bitches. Deal with it. "Sup ladies. I got pandas. Now excuse me while I don this life vest to keep me from drowning in all this PUSSY I'll be getting from you."
But there's more to life than rolling the STD dice with loose women. There has to be.
Just ask that traveler dude.
That's all I'm saying, really.
I pronounce it ColoRADo and not ColoRAHDo because it IS rad.jpg