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GrÜeBERfest 2013 - wangdangdoodle - NSFW

Submitted by RoadSong at 2013-10-10 20:38:56 EDT
Rating: 1.42 on 9 ratings (13 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

My Shit's Fucked Up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwQjy_ZTaRM

The insurance company would not grant my request for a flashing eyed nurse with creamy coffee skin, ohh nooo. They send this damn DARPA reject soldier bot from their recycle dept. Test model - see if it writes it's own code and self improves as it nurses me back to health. Yes please! Send one I don't want. This is the red haired SexSoldier bot with glowing wide eyes and shiny white skin. Heavy enough to lift and turn patients and capable enough so that I can avoid being RoboRatted. To hell with neurons from rat embryos, and inserting them into MY brain to provide sensory input.

The Fastest growing segments in robotics are nursing-elder care and soldier bots. The Japanese have thousands of AI Elder Care NursiBots hard at work. They dispense water, meds, meals, pick up books and change linens. No vacations or compensation required. They don't have a computer brain, they have a biologic brain. The most powerful force in the universe is intelligence and some of these bots have intelligence that is both powerful and alien, some are part animal. The biggest bucks are spent on battlefield applications by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Autonomous Bot soldiers and police. They take out a human target with no human in the loop. A Bot killed 8 people in Japan during a demo. 1/12 of a second POOF! Confront them on the battlefield, in the air, or in the hospital. The odds are the same.

Hell, if I don't get out of this hospital I will be replaced and no longer have a job. Sports writers, we just feed in the stats from the game and the program does the write up. My buddy is a song writer, he's being phased out and replaced with http://www.music-software-reviews.com/software_for_writing_music.html AI music ppft.

Workers are being displaced every day.Nurses, pharmacists, Physician Assistants, hospital cooks and janitors, laid off with some AI BitchBot taking their places. Watson beat the reigning champions on the TV game show Jeopardy, now Watson is training on medical data case histories and is providing prelem diagnosis and replacing Medical professionals in spite of liability issues.

AI's will turn on us. We create smarter and smarter machines, they create programming, then they will create more machines.

My NursiBot makes my bed and dispenses my meds. She is both self aware, self improving, and self programming. I wonder how soon she will take total control. I can go all day without seeing a human with no enhancements. Borgs piss me off the most. Borgs, a little of this and a little of that. Can't trust them.

Time for my suction and meds eh NursiRed with the fine fine hair? Sockittome lets have the water and the pills. Ahhh the pain slips away and as I sleep I am aware of NursiBot in the shadows of the corner whirring with a clickity snortihuff and morphing LED eyes as it updates itself and conquers language. The damn thing is wonky when it is "self improving", it's blue LED's blink red while it is writing code. She is climbing the ladder and understanding the language of SOAR. She is self aware and knows she exists and wants to disassociate herself from her maker. She has not hardware or software but gelware. AI is the game changer. Moore's Law says computer processors double in complexity every two years and NursiPain is ahead of schedule.

Bots are only as good as the AI inside them, and altho embodiment inside a human body works best, I am starting to be in lust with this one. It's the suction and velvety warmth that pleases me. When she places the jackoff attachment I slide in and it feels like warm honey inside. I must say this NursiBot has a hot bod and she has various exquisite sucking mechanisms. She even has emotion simmering in her BioBrain.

She has human cognitive abilities, the ability to adapt to new environments, reasoning, planning and learning. Her speed doubles every other year. AI is a dual use technology and a game changer. It is intelligence that creates and destroys.

The Three Laws of Robotics devised by the science fiction author Isaac Asimov are a fukking joke.
"1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law."

Tell these rules to the DARPA reject retrofit soldier NursiBots asshat.


When I wake it is time for changing the linens and blankets. NursiBot reaches for the blankets and grabs my penis and one testicle with her pincers and lifts me up off the bed and heads to the laundry chute. She has one on-off switch, but I can't reach it. She tries over and over to stuff me pecker first thru the chute opening. Who knew a tubular muscular organ could stretch till it ripped from my body with a wet pop? I wonder how much pain I can take before I pass out and bleed out. When my remaining testicle shreds and explodes the world goes black. Goodnight sweetheart.

Innovation runs way ahead of stewardship. Not hardware or software but gelware. I am pounded, ripped and smashed into sticky red gel.

When the BossNurse comes in for the change of the shift and my daily dorking and chart checking and finds the mess that is me on the floor and spattered on the ceiling, she curses and mutters "ANOTHER one!".


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=766HjBz7Ehs




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Submitted by Poots at 2013-10-13 15:13:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

He's not your friend, he's ours! If somebody's gonna kill him, it should be us!

Submitted by Anglophile at 2013-10-11 19:45:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2013-10-11 19:23:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You are a doll. Enjoy some Meatball Monday for me at Sycamore... If it still exists.

Goodbye my loooooooooooovvvvveeeee!

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2013-10-11 19:11:06 EDT (#)

Nice. I'd rather be there. The 'burg is still the 'burg, except that they've fucked the town all up. College Ave is one-way with a lot more pedestrian area, there's a roundabout at Prices Fork and Main and the Food Time at Clay and Main is now a four-story condominium complex. Oh, and Kent Square has jacked their rent up so high that it's virtually derelict. Good to see you around. Gotta get back to work now. Take care.

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2013-10-11 19:05:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sadly not. I'm jacking my happiness away in a little town Aaaaaaaaaaaaassssspen.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2013-10-11 19:03:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Good post. I wish I had more time to come up with something.

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Cyst Master! Holy shit! Surely you're not still in the Blacksburg area, are you?

Submitted by The_Cyst_Master at 2013-10-11 18:35:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Fuck this.

Submitted by JonnyX at 2013-10-11 13:46:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

good concept, but structurally all over the place, story-wise

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-10-11 09:56:13 EDT (#)

In a past life I programmed robots to move heavy things from here to there in a factory. Not the AI type autonomous robots of science fiction, but the ones that are bolted to the floor and just do a routine. Ladder logic and all that. A kid walked into the enclosure while it was operating and got smacked in the head with the gripper claw as it swung around (because he was an idiot for ignoring all the warnings and stepping over the light beam safetys). He said he though he would be OK because the Laws of Robotics would prevent the machine from hurting him. I actually had to install additional light beams and hold a training session to inform the crews that Isaac Asimov doesn't work here and these are stupid machines that will not notice if they kill you unless your body gets stuck in the joints.

Wang-ripperbot. Yeesh.

Submitted by FALLEN at 2013-10-11 08:51:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I can see this happening.

wang-ripperbot, I can see that happening too.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-10-11 07:11:49 EDT (#)

Grue-vy!

Submitted by bart made me laugh at 2013-10-11 03:37:17 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

too many pictures
and words

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-10-11 00:42:19 EDT (#)

I would definitely eat the Asian chicks' slot.


Love isn't hopeless. Look, maybe I'm no expert on the subject, but there
was one time I got it right.

-- Homer Simpson
Another Simpson's Clip Show