login / register
Like you can get off your couch fat boy.
Welcome to Ubersite!

Movie reviewings for you

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-20 21:50:03 EDT
Rating: 1.0 on 16 ratings (30 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I review movie Jack and Giant Slayer: It is man. Man goes up stalk of beans, man comes down stalk of beans. I like before and after climbing. Up is not so good.

Snitch movie: Wrestle man does bad thing to do good thing. Nothing good happens from this.

A Good Day to Die Hard: This was a film.

43 Movie: The man who made thumb man movies made this movie. I feel sick.

Movie review Stolen Identity: Depressed man has information stolen by sad woman. Woman takes money from the man. This is facts. I do not laugh.

Warm Body Zombie Spectacular: Zombie doesn't zombie. I spit at screen and hit back of woman in the head. I was asked to leave. Four stars of six. Had I stayed, maybe less.

Hansel Gretel Witch Attack: I read book as child. This was not book. I do not like change.



Bosnia. More like Swaziland.gif
Bosnia. More like Swaziland.gif


Review This Item

Rating:

Comment:




Reviews


Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-26 09:39:54 EDT (#)

Steak - you have mail.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-25 17:26:12 EDT (#)

Then I'll bring enough fancy hats for the both of us. (I'll also bring a warm hat for you just in case)

I'll be in DC Thursday, so I'll need a time and location Thursday night for Friday. I'll be the guy in the hat, possibly with a nametag or one of those cards that chauffeurs at airports are always holding with "Sage" on it.

Submitted by asmasta808 at 2013-03-25 17:20:32 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

fuk ma balzecz. uz didn.'5 ay how oz wiz sux


Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-25 17:04:55 EDT (#)

Well, as it were, I don't really *own* "a few hats" anymore...but, I can possiblie acquire some, somehow. It has been snowing here in VA so it'd probably behoove me to get at least a snow-appropriate hat. It'll prob be 70 on Friday if I do that, though. RVA weather is that unpredictable.

We shall talk logistics later this week.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-25 16:43:01 EDT (#)

I'll bring a few hats, you'll bring a few hats. We'll let bartenders and strangers decide our hats for the day.


Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-25 15:49:39 EDT (#)

I read it in a Borat-esque accent.

You will have to speak in this accent on Friday, all day.

Who's bringing the fancy hats?

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-25 14:26:25 EDT (#)

The world still doesn't make sense, because no translators were harmed in the making of this post.

I'm practicing my broken English, and I find the accent that I read this in my head to be hilarious.

Mild inspiration taken from the post below mine.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB at 2013-03-24 23:35:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Is this run through like 7 different translators?
If so, the world now makes sense.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-22 18:59:11 EDT (#)

Apparently you just hate fun.

Submitted by James Douglas at 2013-03-22 05:02:47 EDT (#)
Rating: -1

I hope you're a retard and this isn't an attempt at humour.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-21 19:57:18 EDT (#)

Submitted by orphelia at 2013-03-21 19:35:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The Hansel and Gretel film sounds shady. Still going to see the giant film though it's got a stellar cast.
----------------------------------------------------

You could also just as easily burn the money. A few moments of warmth and flame will be infinitely more beneficial than watching it.

Seriously. It's like watching a movie about historical events. You know how they're going to end, so why bother? There's no sense of mystery or adventure involved. If you're going to go, you could at least take drugs to make it interesting.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2013-03-21 19:44:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Needs less details.

Submitted by orphelia at 2013-03-21 19:35:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

The Hansel and Gretel film sounds shady. Still going to see the giant film though it's got a stellar cast.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-21 18:19:59 EDT (#)

The only thing I use my TV for is as a monitor for the computer or a game console. Network television has largely failed me over the years, and if there's something I want to watch, I'll download it to be played back when it's convenient for me without commercial interruption.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-03-21 17:43:51 EDT (#)

fag below

Submitted by Snark at 2013-03-21 17:34:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Doodles at 2013-03-21 16:16:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I laughed.

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-21 13:08:59 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sage at 2013-03-21 13:08:50 EDT (#)

I haven't seen any of these movies. I also haven't seen my usual shows on Bravo or E! nor have I watched Grey's or Nashville in a while. I hope to buy a TV this weekend.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2013-03-21 12:49:43 EDT (#)

I gave up on movies and cable a long time ago. I'll usually only go for 3d or OMNIMAX.

I blame the safety and consistency of familiar programming and the ease which profit is made turing a book into a movie.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2013-03-21 12:36:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Hansel Gretel Witch Attack: I read book as child. This was not book. I do not like change.

Submitted by rats at 2013-03-21 12:04:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The state of Hollywood today. Back to bit torrent for me although I'm liking this new show "Bates hotel" on A&E.

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-03-21 11:42:05 EDT (#)


Submitted by Average_Dan at 2013-03-21 11:22:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

All true statements

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2013-03-21 09:56:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Gigantic Cocky McPenis at 2013-03-21 07:29:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

100,000,000 times better than fatboy Ebert ever managed.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2013-03-21 06:40:29 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

3 fgs blw

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2013-03-21 06:31:58 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This may be the best movie review post ever. Is there an award for the best movie review post ever? Movie-related people love giving themselves awards so there must be.

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2013-03-21 04:02:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Had I read more, maybe less.

Submitted by OathMeal at 2013-03-20 23:01:52 EDT (#)

tl;dr


There are perfectly good answers to those questions, but they'll have
to wait for another night.

-- Homer Simpson
Homers Barbershop Quartet