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The perfect showerhead.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2012-09-18 16:41:05 EDT
Rating: 1.42 on 20 ratings (32 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

I finally found it. Beautiful, simple, and chrome. It fits every description and every requirement I have for an object to consider it perfect (There's a much larger list than just those three, and the chrome is just a nice touch) and it's average flow rate is only 2.5 gallons per-minute. Yes, I know it's not ADA compliant, and it isn't WaterSense certified, but that's just another massive scam to generate revenue in exchange for a little bonus marketing and advertizing footnote under the guise of righteous morality and environmental care. Seriously, fuck those people.

So many people only look at the size of the face, the number of settings, if it has interchangeable accessories, and so much useless information. They need to look at the spray diameter at specific distances, the nozzle velocity based on a predetermined gallon per minute ratio, the focus area, the spray/mist ratio, and so many other important categories.

I understand if you have a handheld head attached to a five foot hose with a "massage" setting for masturbation purposes, but if you don't have it installed in addition to a proper head, then you already know that I hate you because you're stupid. This isn't about the handheld/wallmount debate. Everybody worth talking to already knows that the issues caused without a definite fixed position can be eliminated with proper mounting (Although I do prefer the traditional style. That hose freaks me out if it touches me and I'm not paying attention while I wash my back. It's the worst possible crossover between the feeling that you're about to be raped in the shower, and the knowledge that HAL 9000 and Skynet are dominant sadomasochists.)

I'm a firm believer that nice things make people better, and these nice things all have different quality brackets. These things make you better and happier on a seemingly subconscious level, and improve your overall quality of life. If you own a nice knife set and you take care of it then you don't add the stress of struggling to cut a piece of meat during dinner. If you own a shop fan in stead of a simple box fan, it gives you better air circulation in your house, which means you don't need to turn your air conditioning on as high or as often. There's an entire subculture of people who already know about these things, but probably aren't aware of the scope of this kind of theory.

The next time you're in a better person's home, take a good look around. I don't mean the people who simply make more money, or are happy about their newest trophy they bought to make them feel like their lives aren't being wasted and that they'll mean something to somebody if their objects are shiny enough. I mean a genuinely better person, who's naturally happy and does all the nice and positive things that you can barely force yourself to put up with of their own free will. See if there's something that stands out, and let me know if you know of anything that's in it's own privileged bracket.

I want to name it, but that would be excessive.jpg
I want to name it, but that would be excessive.jpg


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Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-09-27 09:58:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Been done before, with a quite possibly better narrative and a definitely better showerhead.

https://www.ubersite.com/m/93961

Submitted by Average_Dan at 2012-09-27 08:46:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I liked everything about this post.



Except for the shower head.

Submitted by Flack at 2012-09-26 19:26:14 EDT (#)

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-09-26 11:20:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Quality is worth the increased price. I could buy 5 $20 humidifiers from Wal-mart, that require constant change of crappy, stinky filters, and usually break within a few months or I could buy one $150 one from some Canadian company that will last a lifetime, requires no filter, and works properly.

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Why does it have to be Canadian, huh? Why not Japanese? Or American? Or British? Are you xenophobic or something when it comes to showerheads? That's pretty ridiculous, man.

If Canada had their own version of the Tea Party, you would be it's Glenn Beck. Complete with a rally on a sacred Canadian monument populated by crazy racists that would never understand the tax code in a million years but seem to think they pay too much of it all the while promoting a shitty book blaming everyone but yourself for all the country's problems while offering no valid solutions and then eventually getting fired from Canada's top conservative news outlet because they realize that you're even too insane and retarded for their target demographic of old people that, for some reason, think Ronald Reagan was a great president because he reminded them of the days when they were young and they would go on dates to watch him act in a B movie about a monkey from outer space while simultaneously ignoring the fact that he raised taxes 11 fucking times while he was president and presided over a recession but hey that Alzheimer's for ya!.




............Or maybe I took your comment completely out of context. If this is the case, sorry. My bad. One love, brotha!

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2012-09-26 11:20:03 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Quality is worth the increased price. I could buy 5 $20 humidifiers from Wal-mart, that require constant change of crappy, stinky filters, and usually break within a few months or I could buy one $150 one from some Canadian company that will last a lifetime, requires no filter, and works properly.

Submitted by jade_digitalmedia at 2012-09-25 15:08:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

steak!

Submitted by Flack at 2012-09-21 16:42:32 EDT (#)

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-21 15:59:34 EDT (#)

Submitted by Flack at 2012-09-21 01:16:06 EDT (#)

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-20 12:24:42 EDT (#)

CT - That too :)


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You can't talk like that, K! You're married now so you can't just get these guys' hopes up with sexually suggestive comments on posts about shower heads. I'm telling you, some poor guy is gonna shoot himself when he realizes its a dream he'll never see in reality and it'll be all your fault!

Nice going, Murderer! ;-)

-------------------------
Divorced Flack.

-------------------------


Oh...sorry.


I'm gonna need a crowbar to get this foot out of my mouth.


Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-21 15:59:34 EDT (#)

Submitted by Flack at 2012-09-21 01:16:06 EDT (#)

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-20 12:24:42 EDT (#)

CT - That too :)


------------------------------

You can't talk like that, K! You're married now so you can't just get these guys' hopes up with sexually suggestive comments on posts about shower heads. I'm telling you, some poor guy is gonna shoot himself when he realizes its a dream he'll never see in reality and it'll be all your fault!

Nice going, Murderer! ;-)

-------------------------
Divorced Flack.

Submitted by MANICMOTHER at 2012-09-21 11:05:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I need a new shower head, the one I have now sucks.

Submitted by boomslang at 2012-09-21 08:20:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

ilikethispost

Submitted by bueller at 2012-09-21 01:53:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Flack at 2012-09-21 01:16:06 EDT (#)

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-20 12:24:42 EDT (#)

CT - That too :)


------------------------------

You can't talk like that, K! You're married now so you can't just get these guys' hopes up with sexually suggestive comments on posts about shower heads. I'm telling you, some poor guy is gonna shoot himself when he realizes its a dream he'll never see in reality and it'll be all your fault!

Nice going, Murderer! ;-)

Submitted by Flack at 2012-09-21 01:12:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I never thought I'd ever like a post dedicated to a shower head.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2012-09-20 23:22:36 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


: )

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-09-20 15:25:42 EDT (#)

LOVE this broad...

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-20 12:24:42 EDT (#)

CT - That too :)

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-09-20 09:16:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-20 08:11:22 CDT (#)
Rating: 2

I definitely love giving shower head too.

UberTranslator™

Submitted by TigerLilly at 2012-09-20 09:11:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I definitely love my shower head too.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-09-19 22:32:19 EDT (#)

Next time, consider Shlongys nozzle instead.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-09-19 19:57:44 EDT (#)

Haha @ below. I'm not beyond it, 'specially since I'm single and abstinence is the name of the game these days :/

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-09-19 19:36:31 EDT (#)

Popint that giant nozzle right between your legs, Sage, and have yourself a party.

Submitted by Sage at 2012-09-19 14:03:44 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I concur with your conjecture. Anything that makes my life easier and less stressful is worth the money in most cases.

Submitted by Ducky at 2012-09-19 10:41:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

Submitted by CaptainThorns at 2012-09-19 09:42:56 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

I smiled.

Submitted by HellRazer at 2012-09-18 22:24:46 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You had me at "Yes, I know it's not ADA compliant, and it isn't WaterSense certified, but that's just another massive scam to generate revenue in exchange for a little bonus marketing and advertizing footnote under the guise of righteous morality and environmental care. Seriously, fuck those people."

Submitted by Anglophile at 2012-09-18 21:02:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

ONE post in four days? Must be time to crank up the keyboard.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-09-18 20:26:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-09-18 13:51:19 PDT (#)
Rating: 2

yes, this is what gets +2's these day fuck you.

Submitted by ilikesteak at 2012-09-18 17:49:59 EDT (#)

I keep meaning to write things, but the new site took out so much of the reason I come here.

Submitted by grÜeMaster emeritus and uberlord supreme at 2012-09-18 17:32:27 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

that's a piece of shit

a real man buys a showerhead to please his women

this one's for fags

which explains why silvr is impressed

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-09-18 17:13:01 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Yeah, I was thinking that they only cost about 2 bucks to make.

True enough, if it is indeed a quality head, you can buy three of them for what another good rig would cost you.

steak, I'm glad you found inspiration from a showerhead and posted it here. Merlina's three-day haunting of the top slot was kinda sad. I'm so fucking content in life right now that I can't find inspiration to write about anything. +2

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-09-18 16:58:05 EDT (#)

thats the best part Silvr, he paid $15.
I would buy them for about $3 each cost... profit bitches, I was the king.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-09-18 16:54:08 EDT (#)

You wrote all of that for a fifteen dollar showerhead?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-09-18 16:51:19 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

yes, this is what gets +2's these day fuck you.

A quality showerhead indeed. I used to sell them back in the day. Solid Brass, heavy for their size quality chrome plating. They last forever as well, I once pounded the trumpet end flat to change the spray pattern. Not only did it not crack, the plating held up as well.

Naming it would be excessive. There's a phrase for that..I heard Red say it once...frosting the turnip?
Something like that, I forget.


I've heard 'em all. `I like you as a friend.' `I think we should see
other people.' `I no speak English.' `I'm married to the sea.' `I
don't want to kill you, but I will ...'

-- Homer Simpson
I Love Lisa