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CNN Reports: "Dolphins died of drug overdose after rave..."

Submitted by snagglepuss at 2012-05-08 08:46:20 EDT
Rating: -0.67 on 3 ratings (12 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

“Fast Flippa-Jones”, the neighborhood “water-horse” supplier of primo china white, was seen leaving the local cove hours before. He was picked up by bay authorities and detained at the Pennekamp State pen for questioning. Sergeant HogFish claimed that Fast Flippa-Jones is a “porpoise of interest” in the two cetacean death-by-overdoses. He claimed “something smells fishy” about the weak alibi of Flippa-Jones. Meanwhile, exacerbating the tragedy of this entire affair, it was determined that the wife of Chelmers (one of the victims), was accidentally scooped up by a Starkist trawler and ended up being cat food....


http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/07/report-dolphins-died-of-drug-overdose-after-rave/?hpt=hp_t3


I'm just waitin' on a friend.jpg
I'm just waitin' on a friend.jpg


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Submitted by Snark at 2012-05-11 16:47:48 EDT (#)

My dream meal is a dolphin stuffed with a panda stuffed with a baby seal. I call it Dolphpaneal.

I would kill them all with drugs first of course.

Submitted by Yes at 2012-05-09 11:26:44 EDT (#)


Submitted by RoadSong at 2012-05-08 20:39:04 EDT (#)

Submitted by Wisher at 2012-05-08 15:21:47 PDT (#)

One tiny true story: A mother and father dolphin that I’d been watching for about an hour was teaching their child how to do flips. It looked like a Disney animation, so beautiful; the little one was mimicking their leaps. The sky keep darkening, yet they kept up in this beautiful carousel of circling flips as the young one~~ about three feet long~~ imitated them. There was a storm brewing over the Gulf, the waves were breaking in overheads over the sandbar, yet they kept up playing and leaping.

Then the baby got caught in the barrel of a huge wave, & it tossed him up onto the beach. He was flipping in the sand, helpless as his parents came dangerously near beaching themselves to rescue him. I was looking at all this from my bedroom’s glass doors.

I ran down, & kicked water at the parents to keep them back, & as I picked up the baby, very heavy, it flipped from my arms back into the water. They all dove & came up about 50 yards beyond the sandbar, & one of the parents looked back at me, chattering in their language before diving again.

~~~
Wisher, do you speak Dolphinese?

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-05-08 18:53:42 EDT (#)

Sad that it happened at all, Wisher, but glad that it seems much better now. We'll have to see how the shrimping holds out over he next few years. I am cautiously optimistic. At least BP stood up about it and dove in with both feet, which is more than I honestly expected.

Submitted by Wisher at 2012-05-08 18:46:04 EDT (#)

Just beautiful here Skrap~~ the beaches are white as sugar, the shrimp are running, nearly like nothing ever happened. Yet if you dig deep enough, there are still tar balls to be found. BP actually did what they promised, & more. Now most down here are worth millions now, and the beach houses look a bit more Malibu. ~~xo

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2012-05-08 18:36:52 EDT (#)

Submitted by Wisher at 2012-05-08 18:21:47 EDT (#)

One tiny true story: A mother and father dolphin that I’d been watching for about an hour was teaching their child how to do flips. It looked like a Disney animation, so beautiful; the little one was mimicking their leaps. The sky keep darkening, yet they kept up in this beautiful carousel of circling flips as the young one~~ about three feet long~~ imitated them. There was a storm brewing over the Gulf, the waves were breaking in overheads over the sandbar, yet they kept up playing and leaping.

Then the baby got caught in the barrel of a huge wave, & it tossed him up onto the beach. He was flipping in the sand, helpless as his parents came dangerously near beaching themselves to rescue him. I was looking at all this from my bedroom’s glass doors.

I ran down, & kicked water at the parents to keep them back, & as I picked up the baby, very heavy, it flipped from my arms back into the water. They all dove & came up about 50 yards beyond the sandbar, & one of the parents looked back at me, chattering in their language before diving again.
-----
You are a rare one. How's the beach, a year+ later?

Submitted by Wisher at 2012-05-08 18:21:47 EDT (#)

One tiny true story: A mother and father dolphin that I’d been watching for about an hour was teaching their child how to do flips. It looked like a Disney animation, so beautiful; the little one was mimicking their leaps. The sky keep darkening, yet they kept up in this beautiful carousel of circling flips as the young one~~ about three feet long~~ imitated them. There was a storm brewing over the Gulf, the waves were breaking in overheads over the sandbar, yet they kept up playing and leaping.

Then the baby got caught in the barrel of a huge wave, & it tossed him up onto the beach. He was flipping in the sand, helpless as his parents came dangerously near beaching themselves to rescue him. I was looking at all this from my bedroom’s glass doors.

I ran down, & kicked water at the parents to keep them back, & as I picked up the baby, very heavy, it flipped from my arms back into the water. They all dove & came up about 50 yards beyond the sandbar, & one of the parents looked back at me, chattering in their language before diving again.

Submitted by Shlongy at 2012-05-08 13:26:21 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

This was as interesting as your garden-variety sico post.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2012-05-08 12:46:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Who the fuck doses a dolphin? I mean, sharing a hookah with Flipper is one thing (because hey, who hasn't?), but actually dosing one with pharm-opiates?

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-05-08 09:13:32 EDT (#)

sounds like an X-files episode

*starts folding tinfoil hats*

Submitted by snagglepuss at 2012-05-08 09:00:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Maybe...

As a follow up, this just in:

An autopsy revealed that "Meow" died of respiratory distress after choking on a hunk of Starkist "tuna".....

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/39-pound-fat-cat-meow-dies-respiratory-distress-santa-fe-shelter-announces-article-1.1073739

Submitted by FALLEN at 2012-05-08 08:48:19 EDT (#)

didnt I just review this post?


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