Draining My Infected Earlobe with a Finishing NailSubmitted by Murphy1844 at 2011-02-23 04:21:13 EST
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I take a nap almost every day. When I take a nap, I usually fall asleep on the right side with the right side of my face mashed in the pillow. The infected, red, bulging, swollen earlobe described in this post is on the left side of my face.
Once I fall asleep, I turn periodically from side to side. Today I turned to my left side, half awake, half asleep, then I flipped my pillow over to the dry, drool-free side, and then I tried to snuggle my face in the pillow. Later in this blurb, I'm going to tell you about draining the infection out of this swollen bulb.
I tried to rest my face on the pillow and felt stabbing, throbbing pain in my ear. It's swollen and infected and a couple days ago I paid good money for a doctor to check it out. Two days ago, the pain had spread to my neck, right behind my earlobe, on my jaw. I had thought that the puss and blood or whatever it was that was filling up this sack in my earlobe had run out of room, then found a home in my fucking neck. I remember showing up for work this day, immediately before seeing the doctor. This was the day I noticed that my neck was swollen. I said to my boss,
"I just made a doctors appointment. Check this out." I pointed at my ear, then my neck. I said, "See that shit?"
He said, "What is that?"
"I don't know. It's obviously infected, but whatever it is spread to my fucking neck. Do you see how it swells out there on my jawline?"
"Yeah. Wow. I've never paid much attention to your jawline until now." We seriously talk like this.
I said, "Fuck you. I think the infection is spreading to my neck, and it could possibly enter my bloodstream and kill me. I talked to my doctor and they can get me in in 15 minutes."
"Yeah that looks bad." He was smirking. Motherfucker as usual (I love the guy). He said, "Just give me a call when you're on your way back." I said OK.
Here's how I got to see the doctor in 15 minutes (usually it takes a couple days for an appointment). The receptionist answered the phone and I said, "Hello. I need to make an appointment with Dr. Garas." She asked what it was all about. I said, "I've got an infection in my ear and it's spreading to my neck." She sounded urgent. She said, "can you come in at 4:30?" It was 4:10. I said yes.
I explained to Dr. Garas that I thought the infection in my ear ran out of room because it was so swollen, and that whatever puss and blood was filling up my ear needed to find another home. He explained to me that that wasn't the case. That swelling on my neck was an over-active lymphoid. Lymhoids are part of the lymphatic system and when there's a nearby infection, they swell up and feel tender. He suggested antibiotics as a first defense, then possibly lancing the earlob if things didn't clear up. I said OK. I've been taking two giant antibiotic pills in the morning and evening, along with 800 mg Ibuprofen tablets to control the pain.
I was pissed today that I couldn't sleep on the left side because of a stupid ear infection. Although I've been scratching and squeezing this motherfucker for over a week, there was never an "exit point," and the squeezing and scratching only made it more tender and swollen. Laying on my back in bed, I felt around for like a scab-like thing to scratch off, found none, and started squeezing anyway.
Something came out.
It wasn't much, but it gave me hope. I looked at my fingers and noticed what looked like a drop of milk. Then I jumped out of bed (my heart racing), stepped to the mirror and I immediately started squeezing and pinching and scratching. A tiny bit more of this cheese-smelling milk sprayed on the mirror. That was all. More squeezing only resulted in more pain--no release. I needed to create an opening.
After poking around the house, I found a finishing nail that was about one-inch long. Excellent.
I pulled out my lighter, touched it to the flame, and held it there until the metal burned my fingers. Then I put the nail down to cool off, went outside for a quick smoke, picked up the nail again, looked in the mirror, and punctured my earlobe.
I took a couple pansy tries before I punched through. When it finally pierced the flesh, I heard a little snap sound. Leaving the nail in my ear, I turned my head in the mirror to make sure it really got through. It did.
When I pulled the nail out, the little hole it created immediately started leaking a small amount of blood and clear fluid. Excited, I gently squeezed. A small amount of yellow-green liquid came out. I squeezed harder. Then an unimaginable amount of dirty-green slime gushed out of the hole, drooling all over my fingers. I smiled.
Then I dried up the mess with toilet paper and went back to bed.