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My Prediction for 2010 (involes Glenn Beck)

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2010-01-01 02:22:28 EST
Rating: 1.03 on 20 ratings (20 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Here's my prediction for the year 2010 and I think it's a doozey.

It'll happen on July 22nd between the hours of 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM PST (US).

One of his graduated interns will unsheathe a one-meter blade from her sheathe. This blade will be made of a twelve-fold layered steel that was smashed and reheated and sharpened using, first harder stone, then something soft like horse-leather. The last part, about the horse-leather, came vaguely in my prediction, so I'm not so sure about it.

She will quickly and with much provocation slice Glenn Beck's mother-fucking head off in the middle of one of his broadcasts on Fox news. The blood will be warm, and it will spray on everyone, including the camera-man and the lens of his camera.

Afterward, a team of heavily muscled and tanned and oiled-up men who were made erect penis-wise from seeing this, will systematically insert their penises down the severed throat of Mr. Beck until they climax, which won't take very long at all for each of them.

While they do this, they'll take Mr. Beck's bloody, severed head by the hair and hold it up for the several cameras set up for them. As they shoot their white down his dead bloody throat, holding up his head, they will smile for the camera and lots of white flashes will occur, the flashes of cameras recording this to quickly be assimilated to all of the world wide web for everyone to see.

Mr. Becks corpse will be mostly warm as all these men do this, and there will be exactly 856 pictures taken and around one hour of pure video.

And Mr. Beck will no longer poison himself (very important) or the rest of America or the World.

Happy New Year,


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Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-01-07 15:12:35 EST (#)
Rating: 0

My in-laws got tickets for this http://boldfreshtour.com/ in Tampa.

Four tickets. We're all going. Although I'm not a fan of either O'Reilly's or Beck's shows, I do appreciate their honesty in making points and asking tough questions. It's difficult to listen to either one of them talk for too long, though. But you've got to admire their marketing skills; $80+ a ticket to hear them say pretty much what they say on TV for free.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2010-01-07 01:57:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by TheUniter at 2010-01-07 01:57:07 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by netimportant at 2010-01-05 23:52:44 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Does Mr. Murphy want a wittle hug?

Submitted by cheerios at 2010-01-04 23:47:10 EST (#)
Rating: 2

why hate glen beck? he's just telling the truth, which you liberal retards can't seem to grasp. i've never seen anyone actually identify any "misinformation" he's supposedly given.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2010-01-03 05:31:55 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Glenn Beck? Who?

I hate it when people add uneccesary letters on their names.

Submitted by AJ at 2010-01-02 20:19:31 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Natural Born Kreamers

Submitted by JonnyX at 2010-01-01 23:33:18 EST (#)
Rating: 2

sounds like a great new reality teevee show

Submitted by Cakes at 2010-01-01 22:17:41 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2010-01-01 21:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Glenn Beck is crazy like a fox, and he's laughing all the way to the bank. Although with Glenn Beck, it's probably more accurate to say he's yelling and bitching all the way to the bank.


She's so right. Before he went to Fox, he acutally was, at least playing the part, of being a sensitive humane, and spoke out about things that could have literally cost him his life. He saw a safe way out, and with children and wife to protect, who would do differently. I wouldn't.

Submitted by Soyware at 2010-01-01 21:59:03 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Oh MAN I want that to happen. I'll celebrate the day for years after, or at least for a few minutes.

Submitted by Fucking foul at 2010-01-01 21:51:53 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Glenn Beck is crazy like a fox, and he's laughing all the way to the bank. Although with Glenn Beck, it's probably more accurate to say he's yelling and bitching all the way to the bank.

Submitted by pandora at 2010-01-01 17:39:14 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Oh, and you left out the part where they crack open his skull and feast on the candied popcorn inside.

Submitted by pandora at 2010-01-01 17:35:36 EST (#)
Rating: 0

You're gonna need a pretty long knife to get through that fat neck.

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2010-01-01 16:35:09 EST (#)
Rating: 0

It's the chalkboards, you're right.

Submitted by cheerios at 2010-01-01 15:57:04 EST (#)
Rating: 2

i'll admit this post made me laugh, even though i'll bet you 500 to 1 this scenario won't happen. he's just too popular, people seem to enjoy being "poisoned".

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-01-01 13:25:50 EST (#)
Rating: 0

If it happens and you're on Brighthouse / Time Warner, you might not see it. Fox decided it wants a shit-ton more money for it's shows in 2010 and so that cable conglom is considering dropping Fox. Obviously the rerason Fox wants a shit-ton more money for thier shows is the ginormous ratings they have, but greed may hurt them in the end.

Why do you care so much about Glenn Beck anyway? Is it his annoying voice and mannerisms? Is it his popularity amongst people who you obviously think are too stupid to be allowed opinions? Or is it the chalkboards? It's the chalkboards, isn't it?

Submitted by Judgement at 2010-01-01 06:17:27 EST (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by willartstorg at 2010-01-01 03:15:25 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Don't watch much TV, let alone Fox news. Your posts seem to center around wangs and ejaculation. Just an observation. . .

Submitted by Yozz at 2010-01-01 02:27:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I've had that dream.

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2010-01-01 02:23:04 EST (#)
Rating: 0

*involves rather

Yes! Oh, yes! Read it and weep! In your face -- I got more chicken

-- Homer Simpson
When Flanders Failed