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TRUMP IS A RAPIST AND NOW THERE'S PROOF YOUR APOLOGY IS NOT ACCEPTED
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Grandfathers Gold

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-03-09 09:40:53 EDT
Rating: 2.0 on 17 ratings (17 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

When I got the call last year he just said in his abrupt way "Bird is dead". That's what he called her. They had been married over fifty years and now he was alone in the big house on the hill with it's beveled glass and Jacuzzi.

I went to help in any way I could. Overflowing ash trays and vodka bottles were everywhere.

I called in a grief counselor and hired him a cook, a nurse and a housekeeper and got him signed up with Meals on Wheels. Things seemed to be going well and altho he said he did not want "those yapping women" around, I assured him he needed them. His health is fragile and truth is , he needed help around the place.

"Would you check the pantry and throw away anything old or out of date while you are here?"

Sure grandpa, will do.

I was assigning the new cleaning lady to finish the work in the pantry that I did not feel up to doing, and she was coming in the morning. Later that night as I was throwing cans of ancient beans in the trash I noticed a battered old ice chest on the pantry floor. Thinking there might be some rotting sandwich fossils collecting mold, I flipped one side of the double door open. It was full of something. Packages wrapped in tin foil. The one on the top had creases from being opened many times and I was dreading to see what it was. Before opening the tin foil, the package started to register in my brain as something familiar, the size and shape and weight. The package was about five inches thick and the shape of a dollar bill. Turns out it was not dollar bills but a stack of Hundreds! When I realized that the whole ice chest was probably more of the same, I explored no further. Wrapped up the Hundreds and threw them back in the ice chest and slammed the lid.

Next morning over coffee I pleaded with Grandfather to take that ice chest to the bank. He has always been known to keep large amounts of cash around the house. A favorite hiding place had always been the freezer. He always kept ten thousand dollars in new hundred dollar bills in some frozen food container and thousands more in his desk.

The ice chest was worrisome.

What would the cleaning lady do with an old ice chest and if she opened it... I had done background checks on the women I hired to work in the house, but that house could have had more cash in it than the small local bank!

Grandfather is in his mid eighties. He has lived a certain way most of his life. It is not my place to tell him what to do, but I sure did try and convince him that it was not a good idea to keep a ice chest full of money around the house.

I did not know if he would take my advice. I stayed a couple of weeks and went to visit someone in another state. The day after I left the housekeeper called my cellie and in a sobbing voice told me she and the others had been fired, Meals on Wheels included. He just told them to get out and never come back. Not a big surprise, he and Bird had lived like hermits. I was the only person to have been allowed inside the house since they had it built long ago.

Recently I went back to stay with him a while. He told me proudly that he had taken my advice and that a lot of his money was now in the bank. "You should have seen the look on their faces when I took those grocery bags full of hundreds down to the bank, and I had to hang around there a while so they could count it. It was $450,000, I thought it was more".

Grandfather has an aversion to any paper money that is NOT a one Hundred dollar bill, and won't have a five or a ten in the house....

WHEW. What a relief. Patting myself on the back for my efforts, I asked him if there was anything he needed me to do for him while I was around.

"Clean out that damn vegetable drawer!".

I just cleaned around the money and left the carrots...
~~~~~~~~~~~
*ring ring*

"Go to the airport and catch a flight, ticket is waiting at will call"

Heya grandpa, what's going on, you OK?

"You need to hurry kid, I have something for you." Sure sure, I'll see you in a couple of days, let me get the neighbor come over and water the garden and feed the cats while I am there with you.

"Go to the airport and catch your flight, hurry up Squirrel"


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Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-03-12 05:05:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-03-10 18:09:28 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Admit it, you skimmed a lil sumpin sumpin fo' yo's truly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was taught as a child...
"You are only as good as your word".

Grandfather is a generous man and we have a lifetime of trust built between us.
Take that to the bank!


Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals at 2009-03-10 21:09:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Admit it, you skimmed a lil sumpin sumpin fo' yo's truly.

Submitted by Snark at 2009-03-10 16:52:33 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by shadow at 2009-03-10 12:05:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

My grandad had no problems with banks, or investments, or portfolios. He left it all to my grandmother by way of their two oldest and college educated children (grams was a homemaker back in the day, she never really dealt with the ins and outs of monies).

Sadly, what was left for her, which was well enough to keep her in clean living and decent food for the rest of her days, has been sorely depleted by the financial shit-pool of our eCONomy. Fortunately she had kids who grew up right, and at least a couple of them are in a position to help her at a moment's notice.

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2009-03-10 01:05:24 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by YourNameHere at 2009-03-09 20:07:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by HotDogma at 2009-03-09 18:32:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

my girlfriends grandfather is a fucking moon unit. he is blind and got drunk on friday, saturday and sunday. he was trying to fight people at the pub and she says 'grandpa you cant fight. you are blind'. He called her a little faggot. I loled.

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-03-09 18:22:18 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Sounds just like my bloody Grandmother. My mother, aunt, sister and I had to clear out her house after moving her into a retirement home. My God there wads of cash everywhere. She had hidden it in crazy places along with jewlrey.

Nightmare.

Submitted by Wildman at 2009-03-09 17:58:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Your grand-daddy knew his money.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2009-03-09 17:16:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BranDo at 2009-03-09 17:15:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by F.J.Bell at 2009-03-09 12:55:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by messmind at 2009-03-09 11:57:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I could write long sentences filled with crappy statements and
fuzzy opinions about all that cash, but I just don't have a funny or witty comment.


So take this : No Comment.

Submitted by scourge at 2009-03-09 11:34:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

what's his address?

i'd be happy to give him a hand around the house.

Submitted by St_Jimmy at 2009-03-09 10:35:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Decent.

Gramps didn't put the whole wad into one account, did he? FDIC only insures 100K (or did they raise it to 250K?).

It would be tragic if, after all this time keeping his cash at home, his grandson convinces him to open an account, the FDIC seizes his bank, and he loses everything above the insured amount.

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd at 2009-03-09 10:17:29 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by SgtHartman at 2009-03-09 09:56:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

goddamn, not bad mang


But let me tell you, the slim lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a
big fat dynamo.

-- Homer Simpson
King-Size Homer