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Tired Of Screwing -resized photo WITH story-repost

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-02-26 19:56:40 EST
Rating: 1.68 on 20 ratings (20 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

The new Jeep took a crap after I left Toad Suck Arkansas so I had to borrow a truck and trailer when I got to Kentucky. It was a nice big 4X4 red truck with five on the floor.

There was a pony mare that had to go to have her foal under the watchful care of some Amish friends of mine and a pony stallion to be picked up. I drove 25 miles to pick up a ratty old horse trailer that belonged to a friend of a friend. Alice guided me as I backed up to hitch up the trailer and we had the ball and hitch perfectly aligned when we realized that the trailer hitch was too low. The famous Kentucky wind had blown the trailer backwards and the the screwing mechanism had slipped of the block. The trailer had to be raised before it could be hitched up to the truck.

The farmer who owned the trailer showed up, he was a farmer about 85 and still alive. He started cranking on the screw lever to raise the trailer. Soon he started huffing and gasping. He looked at me with a toothless grin and said "I am tired of screwing, you screw a while".

I did.

When the screwing up was finished, I backed the truck up and screwed the trailer down on the ball. The hitch refused to accept the ball. The geezer looked at me and said "You have to measure your balls".

I did.

The ball was too big and had to be changed to a smaller ball. With much wrenching and cussing the switch was made. The trailer was hitched and I as I pulled out of the farm the geezer hollered "The last gal that borrowed that trailer had a flat!". Since there was a spare mounted on the side of the trailer I was not too concerned.

Big mistake.

When I picked up the first pony I had a flat in the driveway of the man who had lent me the oh- so- cool red truck. He cheerfully changed the tire and as I drove away I was thinking the usual crisis that must happen with all trips was over.

Wrong.

We drove the 45 miles to the Amish farm belonging to Merlin who trains my ponies. Unloaded the mare and loaded up the stallion. The Amish people still use horses to farm with instead of tractors and buggies instead of cars.

It was getting late and raggedy trailer had no tail lights so I put the pedal to the metal and headed out to drop off the stallion and return the trailer.

Wrong.

Half way back I had to pull over to check a road sign. The roads get weaselly between Crab Orchard and Chicken Bristle and I did NOT want to take the wrong path. I got out of the truck to ask directions. Alice pointed at the rear tire of the trailer and said "You have lost your rubber!"

I had.

The tire had shed all the tread, there was nothing left but frayed steel radial wire. Since I had already used the spare, I just creeped along at 25 MPH. until I got back to the farm. Unloaded the pony and turned him out. It was dark and we were exhausted.

On the way home Alice and I realized that we had such a rough day we were too tired to go to the honky tonk to listen to the music because we had done too much screwing, measured too many balls, and lost our rubber.





tiredofscrewing-rz.jpg
tiredofscrewing-rz.jpg


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Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-03-05 01:51:34 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-03-04 22:23:25 PST (#)
Ranking: 2

Ha, I have a horrible camper story about the same mountain guy I go on and fucking on about from time to time because...well I suppose it's because he's so much more interesting than most of the other people I've met...

I can tell at this point, that I might have a story involving that guy every time I review one of your posts, given their nature so far.

I don't even feel like typing the story (which is good because you don't want to read it, har har) because it's too long, basically everything went wrong, my right knee buckled while three men (including me, so like two and a half) were trying to hold up a slipping camper that was resting mostly on stacks of tires (which were giving way, hence the slipping, make due with what you have at the time or whatever it was you said, was our approach) while one of us (mountain guy) put a dysfunctional jack back into place...which of course I watched from the ground feeling very helpless indeed.

It's much more interesting when a camper is about to crush your face.

Now I want to go back on the mountain but I don't want to be talked into some crazy job while under the influence of free booze...every time man!

P.S. Now I'm going to recognize your user name and leave really long, boring reviews on them for reminding me of mountain friend, sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OhhNOOO, a slippingjack buckledknee tirestack campercrushing!
I hate it when that happens, and your review made me laugh.

Submitted by haikumikoo at 2009-03-05 01:23:25 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Ha, I have a horrible camper story about the same mountain guy I go on and fucking on about from time to time because...well I suppose it's because he's so much more interesting than most of the other people I've met...

I can tell at this point, that I might have a story involving that guy every time I review one of your posts, given their nature so far.

I don't even feel like typing the story (which is good because you don't want to read it, har har) because it's too long, basically everything went wrong, my right knee buckled while three men (including me, so like two and a half) were trying to hold up a slipping camper that was resting mostly on stacks of tires (which were giving way, hence the slipping, make due with what you have at the time or whatever it was you said, was our approach) while one of us (mountain guy) put a dysfunctional jack back into place...which of course I watched from the ground feeling very helpless indeed.

It's much more interesting when a camper is about to crush your face.

Now I want to go back on the mountain but I don't want to be talked into some crazy job while under the influence of free booze...every time man!

P.S. Now I'm going to recognize your user name and leave really long, boring reviews on them for reminding me of mountain friend, sorry.

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-03-02 16:43:49 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by Sidivan (user info) at 2009-03-02 09:26:19 PST (#)
Ranking: 2

Could you have found a more rickety horse trailer?
~~~~~~~~
It's called "Making do with what is available at the time".
heh
This is also a borrowed truck!

Submitted by Sidivan at 2009-03-02 12:26:19 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Could you have found a more rickety horse trailer?

Submitted by TLawrence at 2009-02-28 18:31:29 EST (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by ghostofbubba at 2009-02-28 16:10:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Why does every dipshit here get a hardon when Uniter reviews? He is a moronic buttlicker who sucks all of you in. Fucking back up, stop, and tell him to fuck off.


Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-02-28 13:37:11 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-02-28 09:06:27 PST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-02-27 12:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I want to go camping with you and lungfish.

----

Going to the Mojave for a few days next month. I'll take pictures if the military lets me.
~~~~~~~~~~
I love the Mojave and have spent much time there..
My posts "Six Feet High and Rising" and "Hitchin Freights" and "Bloood on the Tracks" all took place there.
Manage to get to the area once or twice a year.

Intending on staying briefly at the El Rancho where Marilyn Monroe stayed when she made her last film before her mysterious death.

There are some strange goings on out in that desert...
A skeleton was unearthed still mounted upright on a skeleton horse along the old outlaw trail and I wish to photograph the thing that dropped out of the sky.

Submitted by lungfish at 2009-02-28 12:06:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-02-27 12:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I want to go camping with you and lungfish.

----

Going to the Mojave for a few days next month. I'll take pictures if the military lets me.

Submitted by TheUniter at 2009-02-27 22:13:41 EST (#)
Rating: 1


Submitted by messmind at 2009-02-27 15:10:00 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2009-02-27 12:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I want to go camping with you and lungfish.

Submitted by rubbermaid at 2009-02-27 14:24:29 EST (#)
Rating: 2

That horse looks like a donkey pony.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 at 2009-02-27 13:52:23 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by RoadSong at 2009-02-27 13:45:23 EST (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-02-27 05:38:22 PST (#)
Ranking: 2

Good show. Whenever I need to hitch up to a company trailer, it seems like a string of incidents along these lines occur. It's instilled a belief in "luck", and lack thereof.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That tire never did go flat but it did pepper the road with rubber for miles!
The geezer was a kind man and refused my offer of payment for the tires or for using the trailer...

Submitted by LittleMonster at 2009-02-27 12:14:28 EST (#)
Rating: 2

I want to go camping with you and lungfish.



Submitted by Sage at 2009-02-27 10:15:02 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by orphelia at 2009-02-27 08:48:20 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by monkeyswithguns at 2009-02-27 08:38:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

Good show. Whenever I need to hitch up to a company trailer, it seems like a string of incidents along these lines occur. It's instilled a belief in "luck", and lack thereof.

Submitted by BranDo at 2009-02-27 03:26:22 EST (#)
Rating: 2

YeeHaw!

Submitted by shadow at 2009-02-26 23:23:27 EST (#)
Rating: 2

The end line made the entire sad tale worth reading.

Submitted by rob_berg at 2009-02-26 20:23:47 EST (#)
Rating: 2


atta boy.



Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman -- and
I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear,
which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection