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Again, you granpaw killed nazis because nazis were doing bad things, not merely saying bad things.
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Shopping

Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-23 23:10:24 EDT
Rating: 1.55 on 45 ratings (45 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

Some days it just don’t fit, this cloak, this chameleonic suit of normality that I reluctantly force myself into before that restricted march through featureless high-streets of this grim city. There’s that moment, that prelude to the Archimedes Eureka shriek before I leave the house where I think that it doesn’t have to be this way, that something’s wrong with this world, with the people in it. But then I slip myself into the water and the only realisation is that it’s me with the problem, me that’s wrong. And I don’t so much feel like shouting about it.

There’s scant comfort, rare respite when I pass another liar in the street and the mask slips slightly and we recognise the look on each others face, that awestruck expression of horrified chagrin at our surroundings. But we don’t say anything to each other. Just reapply the make-up and walk along with the painted smile: Everything’s alright. I’m fine. I am completely normal. Just like you.

But like I said, those moments don’t happen too often and mainly, I’m wading through the fixed grins of the opiated masses, happy people, identical in their efforts to be unique.

I listen as I pass them and I realise that there’s been some sort of mistake somewhere, that I’m in the wrong place, the wife-killing banker surrounded by rapists and murderers. I’m not supposed to be here man, I’m Innocent, Lawyer fucked me. But anybody listening just laughs: Sure, we’re all innocent in here. We’re all special.

So you just kinda forget it then don’t you? Slip into the crowd. Pretend. Because lets face it, in places like this, you don’t wanna put yourself out there on that limb. Don’t wanna tell it how it is, stand apart from the herd. They don’t like what’s different, The Sisters. Think your shit smells better then most? Sure thing those bull-queers are gonna fuck you for that one man, just to prove to you that it don’t.

Yeah, those days when the mask don’t fit are tough. Days like today. Days where I got no choice. Days where I gotta go see Red.

“I understand you’re a man who knows how to get things?”

He grins and the scales are already out before he replies.

“I’m known to locate certain substances from time to time, sure.”

And that’s how I’ll do it. Escape. It’ll take a while sure, and maybe I’ll get caught, get thrown right back here if anybody ever finds out. But I need it man. I can’t be caged, Red says. My colours are too bright.

And I wish I could take him with me but his eyes are dead when he comes out with shit like that and I see that he's one of Them, even though he wishes he wasn’t, he doesn’t believe like I do, hasn’t got the hope. And that’s one thing you gotta have, especially here.

Cos hope will set you free.





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Submitted by orphelia at 2009-05-05 18:53:32 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Tears of lard.
Dude, I am such a fucking bitch.

Submitted by diadima at 2008-09-01 22:47:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Berty at 2008-08-27 07:23:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This is very good fanfic, but it needs more homoeroticism to be truly accepted as part of the genré.

Perhaps if you change bull-queers to gaybashers and include something like "...lovingly carressing Morgan Freeman's leathery taint" or "escape... into me..."

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-26 10:57:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

You have one?? I wasn't so sure what with the pendulous belly in the way...

Listen up, the only difference between you and myself is you use a condom, or at least claim not to know her once she is knocked up, whore.

:)

Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-26 10:24:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

bah, they'll know it wasn't me because my cock hasn't fallen off yet.

Submitted by orphelia at 2008-08-26 09:38:09 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Don't want you to cry, weep your tears of lard. :*(

ps I pinned one of my tribe onto you with a fake birth certificates. The CSA would like a word.

Submitted by mrwolf at 2008-08-26 09:15:25 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

LIEK OMG YOU STOLE!!elleven

Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-26 08:02:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-26 05:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This expresses how I feel when I go shopping really well. I don't shop well at all.

I prefer to wait in the car with a joint.

--

I imagine Bubba reading this review scratching his head with a faeces stained hand saying to himself "Going Shopping? What's this got to do with going shopping? This was a prison story right? Do they have GAP in prison?"

Yes Bubba. they do.

Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 at 2008-08-26 05:57:35 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This expresses how I feel when I go shopping really well. I don't shop well at all.

I prefer to wait in the car with a joint.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-08-25 20:59:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

thats like saying all fanfic is plagiarism.

dumb

not that this is fanfic of course.

out of 30,000 users only bubba is dumb enough to take that line anyway.



Submitted by BranDo at 2008-08-25 09:20:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Well done.

Submitted by Hagard at 2008-08-25 02:41:22 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


Submitted by X54 at 2008-08-25 01:27:28 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Plagiarism or tribute/spoof? Tough call on this one. It depends on whether a reasonable person could be expected to recognize the original without being explicitly told. It's in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? I think it's always safer to give credit to your original source. If nothing else, it keeps people from maliciously accusing you of plagiarism.

Submitted by Wildman at 2008-08-24 21:57:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-24 17:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

You continue to:

Interact on a website where you just-don't-fit-in (chronologically and/or intellectually)?
Interact on a website where the majority of the people JUST DON'T LIKE YOU?
Interact on a website where you continually complain about the about two points(not a question)
Interact on a website where you attempt to portray yourself as an "old sage"???*

*EPIC FAIL OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Square peg

Round hole

Go

Away

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-24 19:11:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

On a side note, I think a bubba/Apllo hatemadness would be the funniest thing since the emu/rabbit war.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-24 19:08:43 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

THE INTERNETZ IS SERIOUS BUSSINESS.

SRSLY APOLLO.

BUBBA'S GOING TO GO ALL JACK MCCALLUM ON YOUR ASS.

SADIE IS GOlNG TO PLAY THE PART OF HORSE87

AND HATEMADNESS WILL DIE LIKE UBERMADDNESS

SRSLY

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 19:03:22 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Yeah, it was homage WHY??? Because he said so or because you did?

HE FUCKING PLAGIARIZED STEPHEN KING, YOU MORON!!!

God, I want to meet your ugly ass in hatemadness. No more being kind because it's a website.

Fucking asswipe.

Submitted by apollo88 at 2008-08-24 18:42:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

jesus christ bubba you fucking idiot.

it's an homage.

my god.

you've just sunk to a whole new level of despicable.

I loathe your very existence on this planet.




Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-24 18:17:11 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Also don't get so angry. THAT is a VERY 'bubba' thing to do.

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-24 18:15:41 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Bubba is fucking retarded.

You DO need to learn to spell, or use word though.

Submitted by ghostofbubba at 2008-08-24 18:10:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

shit

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 17:38:33 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

You continue to misspell plagiarism, which tells me you DO NOT LISTEN!!!

I'm done with you, fool. You are stupid and you steal. Die.

Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-24 17:09:16 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

So you think that referencing something else via quotations within your own work constitutes theft do you? Because within The film I've 'ripped off' here (or indeed the short story that it's based on) there are frequent quotes from the Bilble and my guess is, Steven King didn't write that. But then, after he did it, he also didn't have to say "This is a quote from the bilble here folks, not my original woork. you see what's happenenig here when warden norton says "watch ye, for ye know not when the master of the house cometh" is, one of my characters is quoting SOEBODY ELSE'S work in order to get their - and hence my - point across. You see in THIS instance, Warden Norten is the master of the house NOT god and the house is in fact the Prison and not the kingdom of earth granted to us my our lord god as is used in the original context"

And do you know what Mr King didn't say that?

because he was counting on anybody reading to have brain bigger than their borrower's toothpick of a penis.

just to reiterate: plagurism requires sombody to be palming sombody ele's work off as their OWN (according to you YOUR linked definition) as I've clearly not done that it's not theft, is it Einstein? Would you say, more of a homage?? Right.

But then you think that S. King is 'The Master' so what the fuck am I even doing trying to explain such subtle concepts to a fucking chimp?

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 16:41:05 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-24 16:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Bubba you obviously havn't 'got' this and you know, that's cool and stuff and yes, this is probably MY fault as a writer rather than yours as a reader. perhaps the idea is unclear, poorly put accross, muddled. Sorry for that - again, my fault. and if it's so badly done then I'm not gonna sit here and try and explain what I attempting because that just makes my obvious failure so much the more desperate.

But don't sit there and accuse me of fucking plagurism you stupid fuckhead. Yes, I am palming this off as my own - all mine. So much so that I even included a FUCKING SCREENSHOT OF THE FUCKING MOVIE.

And yes, in my reality andy Dufresne isn't in prison but in fact lives in a HOUSE and walks down the fucking HIGH STREET to do his FUCKING SHOPPING.
====================
Does that mean if I start a story with "Call me Ishmael" that I'm not STEALING from someone? Say I write a story about a guy raised in the jungle by apes but I call him Ernie instead of Tarzan? See my point, you fucking Thief????


P.S. Why do you misspell plagiarism when I so plainly put it out there for you? I tried to be nice in the beginning by giving you only a 0, but you wouldn't have it. Hence, the -2s, which you so richly deserve, you thieving twat.

Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-24 16:15:57 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Bubba you obviously havn't 'got' this and you know, that's cool and stuff and yes, this is probably MY fault as a writer rather than yours as a reader. perhaps the idea is unclear, poorly put accross, muddled. Sorry for that - again, my fault. and if it's so badly done then I'm not gonna sit here and try and explain what I attempting because that just makes my obvious failure so much the more desperate.

But don't sit there and accuse me of fucking plagurism you stupid fuckhead. Yes, I am palming this off as my own - all mine. So much so that I even included a FUCKING SCREENSHOT OF THE FUCKING MOVIE.

And yes, in my reality andy Dufresne isn't in prison but in fact lives in a HOUSE and walks down the fucking HIGH STREET to do his FUCKING SHOPPING.

Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 16:00:55 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-24 15:50:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 15:23:27 EDT (#)
Rating: 0


Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 15:21:36 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Allegory doesn't include near plagiarism. It is a made-up story to illustrate a point. Made-up. Not taken from another.

Submitted by Spam at 2008-08-24 15:14:12 EDT (#)
Rating: -2


Submitted by Bubba2341 at 2008-08-24 15:05:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

No one rewrites The Master.

Submitted by joedaddy at 2008-08-24 14:04:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

you've just been paroled after spending over 40 years of your life in prison

what are ya gonna do?...


i'ma go'n to another country and find me a white boy on an empty beach!!

Submitted by Doodles at 2008-08-24 13:34:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I think I like you.

I think.

Maybe.

Submitted by TheGoat at 2008-08-24 13:32:49 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

:-?

Submitted by Shlongy at 2008-08-24 09:11:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shlongy "Top 10 Movie of All Time" list.

Submitted by Grimm at 2008-08-24 09:00:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

peer pressure +2

Submitted by redskieslookfake at 2008-08-24 06:23:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Red approves

Submitted by Fey at 2008-08-24 03:20:38 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Is this a continuation of something? What I'm asking is, is there more?

Submitted by Chroniclysm at 2008-08-24 02:29:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shopping.

Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge at 2008-08-24 02:15:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

So did Red get nabbed again? I don't think I get it but here is a 2 because its way past my bedtime.

Submitted by diavola at 2008-08-24 00:50:17 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

:)

Submitted by experima at 2008-08-24 00:48:13 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

hi!

Submitted by Linus at 2008-08-24 00:26:14 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

This sucks.

Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe at 2008-08-24 00:04:26 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

I hate the happy face.

Submitted by SullyThePirate at 2008-08-23 23:30:23 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Shawshank fan fiction? Sign me up.


Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an
appropriate time. Like that day I hit that referee with a whiskey
bottle. 'Member that?

-- Homer Simpson
Whacking Day