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Blackbear just goes Onan Onan Onan Onan on about himself.
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Same Old, Same Old

Submitted by Unabonger at 2007-05-24 12:52:31 EDT
Rating: 1.81 on 11 ratings (11 reviews) (Review this item) (V)

It's eleven o'clock and I'm sitting at home. The smell of dirty laundry and half-empty beer bottles permeate the room as I look to the peeling wallpaper. I imagine the peeling is a result of the rank odor and giggle inwardly at my astute command of humor.

I should have been a comedian.

I have four bottles of Miller Light left in the twelve-pack I bought a few hours ago on my way home from work. I'd say waiting tables tonight was a particularly shitty night but I don't want to over do it. Every night is shitty waiting tables. I'd say it was busy; it's always busy. But those are the thoughts that go through my mind and past my tongue every night.


"How was your night, bro?" The clerk puts the twelve-pack into a plastic bag.

"It sucked, man. We were really busy." I look at the plastic bag surrounding the twelver. "I don't need a bag, dude. The case has a handle on it. Save it for next time." I give him a look like he should know better. Like he should have a better understanding of global warming and non-biodegradable trash and their effects on out planet. I say nothing but I think volumes. I’m satisfied with this and smile inwardly at my astute command over the perils in the environment.

I should have been a conservationist.


I take the last swallow of my beer. I think I'm drunk now. Maybe not but I'm certainly getting there. I think less and less about my night serving people that order from the kids menu in a sullen attempt to take their loved ones somewhere nice for a change. The feeling of boredom creeps in. The bar's just down the road a bit. I'm not too drunk to drive it. I give no thought to how drunk I’d be after an hour or so at Hog Wild. I kind of feel like playing pool. The last time I was out I lost terribly. The game was easily forgotten in my opponent's mind the next morning. Everyone else that was there that night probably wouldn't remember me getting pissed and throwing my cue at the victor. But it's fucked up that the bar won't even-out the table. There's been that lean to the end pocket for months now and they haven't fixed it. Maybe I won't go to that bar. They never clean the bathrooms at night anyway. Matter of fact, last time I was there it took me standing at the bar for what felt like twenty minutes just to get my shot of Maker’s and a beer. They don’t pay attention to the customer. I smile inwardly at the ease in which I understand the improvements simple customer service can contribute to a new drinking hole.

I should have been a bar owner

I open another beer. Maybe I'll go after this one.

My Uberdirectory camwhore:


Review This Item




Submitted by Director at 2007-05-24 22:05:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by lungfish at 2007-05-24 20:43:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by BadAssJulie at 2007-05-24 19:10:50 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by firefly at 2007-05-24 15:07:48 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Submitted by TheUniter at 2007-05-24 14:51:30 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by Sacrilicious at 2007-05-24 14:46:53 EDT (#)
Rating: 2


I like the story, too.

Submitted by Flapjacksupreme at 2007-05-24 13:44:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Meth lab instable striations dark wind of clamor tootsie pops and hearty sandwich lip octaves of mingled sweat beetle eyes.

Submitted by messmind at 2007-05-24 13:13:00 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

on this one, you're actually quite cool : http://www.ubersite.com/m/100075

I challenge you for a some pool, someday, somewhere !

Submitted by experima at 2007-05-24 13:11:02 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Submitted by sweetcheebs at 2007-05-24 13:01:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

+2 for the humor
-1 for the stupid looking haircut

Submitted by SunnyG at 2007-05-24 12:57:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 alcohol

Lenny: Yeah, he got injured on the job and they sent him home with
pay. Pfft. It's like a lottery that rewards stupidity.

Homer: Stupidity, eh?

King-Size Homer