SPT - Ode to a Deadbeat Mom (490 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.61 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (View user info) at 2007-02-15 12:09:21 EST
Shit Post Thursday, Shit Poetry Thursday. Whatever.
----------------------------------
Ode to a Deadbeat Mom
When once the girdle hit the floor
My little teacup, wanting more
With bouncing c-cups, did implore
Me to release the beasts in me
And so I did, right into her.
Oh- shit!
And the reverse pile drive posish
That we enlisted
Sought the help of gravity
For optimal luck to guarantee
A resultant fuck-trophy
But I'm not even twenty-
Damn my spontaneity!
Fret not, said she
I cannot be, knocked up
And if you don't believe
Me, here's the number
Call my doc up, he'll confirm
You'll be relieved, and either way
Stop being such a wuss
But that bitch lied, like bitches do
And now she tells me that she's due
And that she wants to have it too
Guess that's the choice she made
For both of us.
Where's my say?
This sucks.
So whence I came, a baby came
And I resigned my fate that day
To just say, "Fuck it, fine, okay!,
I guess I'll take-- My God, a son,
He looks like me, that tiny thumb!,
This might not be too bad."
He smiled and cooed,
Which riled and booed,
That bitch into a crazy mood,
She moaned and cried,
Disowned and lied,
And left her brood behind.
She walked out of the hospital
Avowing not to let this stall
Her life in any way at all
Guess she's allowed to leave
For me to deal.
Where's my say?
Fuck all.
So I've been left to work and buy,
Everything for the little guy,
It's fine, but not without a sigh,
Since she contributes not a dime,
And wastes what's hers on getting high,
She'll get what's coming to her.
I couldn't get,
a gov'ment check,
Cause of my adam's appled neck,
Or child support,
as last resort,
But was laughed right out of the court.
Five years of crystal meth addiction
Four rehabs, three health afflictions,
STDs to be exact,
Two prison terms, but then, in fact,
She'd had one month of being sober.
One- fucking- month.
What'd she want?
The kid.
So when she sued for custody,
I begged for justice, just to see
If they'd do right by me, I cried,
"She's done nothing but boozed, and whored,
And drugged and lied, til now, what's more,
She doesn't even know his name."
She claimed she did,
That was enough,
She got the kid, without her bluff
Called by the judge,
I sat in shock,
And only shrugged, justice was mocked.
Now I pay her.
Where's my say?
Silence, man.
Only men can be deadbeats.
User Reviews
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-15 22:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-15 21:39:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shit Post Thursday, Shit Poetry Thursday. Whatever."
===
With those exact words, a legend was born. And he sure won't let you ever forget it either.
---
Oh please. You know most users here have short attention spans.
Oh please. You know most users here have short attention spans.
Oh please. You know most users here have short attention spans.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-02-15 21:44:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-15 21:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shit Post Thursday, Shit Poetry Thursday. Whatever."
===
With those exact words, a legend was born. And he sure won't let you ever forget it either.
This is really good, Coleslaw. The scheme gives it a clever sound but the message packs a punch.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-15 18:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more coverage.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-15 16:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-15 16:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more cowbell
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-02-15 15:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-02-15 13:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-02-15 13:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:48:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit Post Thursday, Shit Poetry Thursday. Whatever.
---
Plagiarist.
---
Of course. You only paved the way for yourself. Us other folks still have to give preemptive excuses for posting poetry.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-02-15 13:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heroin Chic.
SEXAY!
Submitted by Manitou (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 level 16 wood elf.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit Post Thursday, Shit Poetry Thursday. Whatever.
---
Plagiarist.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This really isn't SPT
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good job
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't, but I liked your poem.
Submitted by mitchmarron (user info) at 2007-02-15 12:18:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd hit that.