It seems that my darling sister, unbeknownst to me, has been put up for auction (4003 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.64 on 135 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by (V) (View user info) at 2007-01-25 08:56:41 EST
Recently, it has come to my attention that several desperate virgin uber users have begun to fight and argue over who is going to bang my sister first. It all started when Inion saw a picture of my sister, and decided to tell all these desperate fucking nerds on ubersite who have never seen vagina before, that she's hot. Surprisingly, Frankthebear was not involved in this bullshit. Sacrilicious, however, was, and she offered some compensation for my sister, to which I replied
"I always knew you were a man".
The emails and bidding from her abruptly ceased for some reason.
That's when the real flood of emails began. People started bidding on my sister, each one trying to outdo the other one. I even received poetry from our resident virgin poet,
Orgasma-"still struggling with puberty"-tron. I also received a disturbing, half nude picture of Redskieslookfake's little brother, which I promptly deleted from my hard drive, since he was of questionable age. Fucking British, no class whatsoever.
Well, since you're all so gung-ho about "acquiring" my sister, who, incidentally, would eat all you pathetic, socially inept retards alive and spit you out, why not broaden the playing field? Let's see who can offer me enough money to win a date with my sister. All expenses will be paid by the winner, on top of their bid.
I have pasted the majority of the emails sent to me below; if you don't feel like reading them, skip straight down to the picture, and start your bidding, oh ye of little penii.
By the way, I'm still trying to figure out what "Ass Pennies" are.
--------------------------
From: RedskiesLookfake
Subject: I want to buy your sister
Pimping is GOOD in Britain. You can have 4% cut.
Think about it George - by the end of the week you could have enough for
your very own Dip.
Fondest Regards To My Ethnic Compadre
-----------------------
"(V)"
to Redskies
You are a dead man.
-----------------------
"(V)"
to Redskies
Jake, Jake, Jake, maybe in your backwards country, talking about someone's sister is ok, but round these parts, us "rednecks" kill for a lot less
-----------------------
Redskies Lookfake
to me
Dearest George
I'm prepared to offer you a revised bid of $11.65 (Canadian) and a PAL
edition VHS of Starcom: The US Spaceforce and a little figure with real
working Magnalock of Cmdr Dash Deering (with one snapped off leg).
With British stiff upper lip and firm resolve to win the heart of your
sister
Jake
-----------------------
Redskies Lookfake
to me
No more messing around.
I have been reliabily informed that your sister is easily worth $20. So I'm
offering you 40 English Pounds, a packet of Jelly Babies, a Curly Wurly and
some left over Christmas decorations still in their box for a go on your
sister.
Howay George. Divvy up.
----------------------
Redskies Lookfake
to me
Dear George
I see you have not responded to my opening bid. I apologise. I have
clearly not offered enough.
How about Fourteen English Pounds. A glass of freshly squeezed olive oil,
and two packets of ball bearings? Pretty much what you use on a night out
with the laydeeees.
Give her to me George. I will care for her and not call her by a name
beginning with X.
Salute!
Jake
----------------------
From matt = scourge
Dear George,
Keeping in mind that your sister is the hottest commodity going at present, I come prepared to offer you a staggeringly generous sum.
I am prepared to forward to you, today, $17.65 AMERICAN, a box of Chiclets, and a recording of me, Matt, singing La Traviata in its entirety. I also have in my possesion, and am willing to part with in the attempt to win your sister, a remastered DVD of the classic Stallone film 'Deathrace 2000'.
Certainly an offer you can't refuse.
I wait with baited breath for your acceptance.
My fondest regards,
Matt
---------------------
sacrilicious.at.comcast.net"
to me
No, no, no. Just..no.
I know how much you love your sister, and that you'd never allow these savages her hand.
I'm willing to part with: $66.00 USD, a lifetime supply of AAA batteries, one dried-up sperm sample from a guy who looks EXACTLY like Speedracer and can therefore make cartoon babies, an expired but still probably useable bottle of astroglide, and a book of McDonald's free fry coupons. ALSO, and I promise to keep her in White Rain haircare products for all her days. WHITE RAIN.
George, think about it. I have much love to give. Only the best for you and your ilk.
----------------------
To which I responded:
I always knew you were a man
------------------------
On 1/24/07, Orgasmatron < orgasmatron2029.at.yahoo.com> wrote:
Subject: I wish to Dial up a bid - Lever to me, Method...me and my Irish Spring
George,
Anyone who's anyone is talking about this auction for your sister. I've overheard discussions at watercoolers all morning. I was not brought up to be the last one to know about something. I was raised to be a Man of Action. Basically: I want in.
My offer - which, of course, is only an initial offer - is as follows:
- $2 million pesetas (heretofore referred to as "Dos mil pesetas")
- 1 really big pen
- 14 gummy worms
- 6 frozen eggs, harvested from Marat Safin's wife
- 1 framed picture of Harry Hamlin from "Clash of the Titans"
- 3 rolls of uncirculated Ass Pennies
Just think about it. I am a fair man. A reasonable man. And a gentle lover.
I've been told I have soft, knowing hands.
Best,
Mars
---------------------------------------
"(V)"
to Orgasmatron
OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE IMPENDING SHITSTORM YOU HAVE ALL BROUGHT UPON YOURSELVES
---------------------------------------
Orgasmatron
to me
George,
You sound upset? Are there mutliple bidders for your fair sister's hand? I would assume this is the case, as she is more lovely and reasonable than going Dutch on a first date with a blind woman.
I hope it's not getting to you. Think about it - you are in a most actionable position. You can decline or accept. I can only raise my bid to sweeten her pot. I mean the pot. Seriously. "THE pot." I got all confused with referencing you earlier. I am a direct man, and do not go back and correct mistakes. I simply explain them. This is how I am.
As the poet once said, "To put money down for a woman is the simplest exchange of troth." I do believe there's some truth to that. And so, with that in mind, I will not be raising the quantity or spirit of my bid, but will simply accentuate it with the following --
"To Georgina, That She Should Make Much of Time"
Come, beautiful olive of the Aegean
And let your branches become full and heavy
With the work of passing years and a growing heart,
From Macedon to distant Crete they sing your name
Spun hearts spinning at the sight of you
Sacrificing bulls to burn their blood in worship,
You are what Jason sought,
You are the prize that Paris stole,
You are young, still-young,
But you will not be young forever,
Tis wise to smell the roses and the heather
When you can, for soon in time
There will be no more hours to find a man;
And yet,
Once more now a suitor comes
To shame the Fates
And claim his kingly prize,
Your eyes, your lips, your thighs,
Will queenly become in the still of the night,
He longs to wear your nipples as a hat,
Unless, of course, you prove to be too fat.
Ok, so I lied. You can consider my offer to include an additional 4 cooked Stouffer's french bread pizzas. The 'five cheese' kind. They don't have feta. I looked. Sorry.
AMF,
Mars
------------------------------------------
Redskies Lookfake
to me
Dearest George
$400 and my personal guarantee that I wont disgrace her honour.
Straight up. I'll learn her name and everything.
-------------------------------------------
matt = scourge
to me
George,
We're both reasonable men here, right?
This next offer is made in the fullest faith that you have no choice but to accept.
For your sister, I offer you $654 American. Add one Nubian goat, producers of the finest feta available. To further this offer, being aware of your obesity probelm, I will throw in a years subscription to Jenny Craig COMPLETE WITH a lunch date with television personality Kirstie Alley. (Her people informed me that a handjob is standard practice at these events.)
So do we shake hands here, or do I walk out of the room?
---------------------------------------------
Orgasmatron
to me
George,
I am beginning to feel as if my offers are not satisfactory. Or, if they are, they are falling just shy of the competition.
I believe you to be a shrewd trader, so perhaps you are worried about transit.
Well let me blow your mind with this - I will increase my bid majestically, throwing in a wheel well from a 70s-era Dodge Dart, a cassette-only version of Tiny Tim's catalogue, some balsa wood and a dildo that looks just like Spiro Agnew.
AND, on top of that, I will even drive up to NYC and pick her up. I'll even bring my own twine so you don't have to buy any for when I tie her to the roof of my car.
Let me know. I will accept nothing less than victory.
Yours in tzatziki,
Mars
------------------------------------------------
matt = scourge
to me
show details
Jan 24 (18 hours ago)
See here George,
The tension is becoming unbearable.
My sources tell me that bidding has been fast and furious in the attempt to claim your sister.
Well, I'm going to end it here.
I must have her.
$1000 American. Cash.
The goat and everything else I've offered up to this point.
An all expense paid trip to Bangkok.
And, here's the clincher, naked pictures of redskieslookfake. He won't even know where you got them as he's shared them with so many people. Trust me, they're SOOO worth it.
I'll taste Georginas sweet nectar before the day is done. I must rid myself of this shameful virginity.
You let me know where you want this to go, big man. I'm prepared to take it all the way to the roof.
You just let me know.
~Matt
-=-------------------------------------------------
Redskies Lookfake
Subject: damaged goods? whoa whoa whoa
x
George,
I have received some disturbing information.
Word on the streets is that the item I purchase from you at auction earlier today is potentially damaged goods.
I bid, confident that what I was bidding on was a fresh faced Greek goddess. Mustache, back hair and all.
If she has been ruined, and this is what I hear, I will have to remove my last bid.
The bid previous to that would still stand however.
Please contact me so that we may speak about this disturbing turn of events.
---------------------------------------------
From Redskieslookfake
Now listen here George
Now that Matt has deferred on payment (and I did warn you George about
dealing with Americans)
I'd like the opportunity to put in for your sister again, and then only
withdraw when I have emptied my nuts into her.
I will offer you some old ram chips 2x PC100U-322-620, 1x PC133U-542A, a
plastic cup, a microsized cd which will fuck up a slot loading drive, an
installation disk for an HP Laserjet 1018. That's just for starters
Georgie. Don't get too excited!
As well as filming myself with your sister and then giving YOU the rights to
future marketing of the resulting short film (two minutes top I promise) - I
will also pay you the sum of £700. That's like $1600 US dollars George!
You could buy a new hat!!
Best wishes
&
Fondest Regards
Jake
---------------------------------------------------
Redskieslookfake to me
SHE SHAVES UNDER HER ARMS!!! WHAT MANNER OF GREEK IS THIS??
--------------------------------------------------
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-12-22 08:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A car.
4 wheels
Non working boot or doors
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2007-03-20 00:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, i've been catching up on your shit all night. You're like one of 4 people on here worth reading now. What the fuck happened? Also, your sis is a pretty girl, if it really is her. Take good care of her.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-02-06 14:05:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-26 10:57:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:44:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:06:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm more interested in fucking you.
===
eeeew
-----------------
Don't be jealous. Either way, I'm not into hermaphrodites. Sorry Caul but you really should have that operation. I hear there is a really good doctor in Canada so you wouldn't have to travel far.
===
that was very funny. seriously. you're witty.
ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzz
Submitted by Oiseau (user info) at 2007-01-29 22:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I could bid. Unfortunately the only thing I have is an extra chromosome. I'm not allowed to give that away.
Submitted by Gollygoshgirl (user info) at 2007-01-29 21:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good stuff! If I was a lesbian, I'd wanna have me a go too~
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-01-29 19:59:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
same size tits as you
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2007-01-29 14:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for a douchebag/male-chauvanist/fratboy/jock-type-person, you sure are creative.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're so good at this, it's almost painful. You should get a job for the government embarassing foreign dignitaries.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-01-28 13:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm offering a plate. A plate on fire. Covered with gasoline and small mammals. Burning.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-01-28 11:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:49:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
GOOD, BECAUSE THE LAST MAN THAT TRIED TO TAKE MY SAKE IS NOW SLEEPING WITH THE FISHIES
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Words cannot express my internet-adoration, method.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-01-27 11:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FNAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You must have got all the brains in the family, Method.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2007-01-27 09:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, so thats what Greek women look like huh? Not bad at all. Hey heres my offer, let me talk to her for five minutes and it wont matter what you have to say about what I can or cant do with her.
Good offer huh?
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2007-01-27 08:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll throw in my first born and a pair of nicole kidman's underwear(unwashed)....
Submitted by Monty_Python (user info) at 2007-01-26 16:56:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit, would you look at the foundation on that?!
Let's try one without the "make me pretty" top-down look.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-01-26 15:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now go fix mine.
Submitted by blackeyedbitch (user info) at 2007-01-26 15:35:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off you cunt
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually I'm very impressed. here's my bid: I'll take the life of a man you won't to die(and you can't say my own douchejuice).
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2007-01-26 14:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This gave me haha all over the place.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY ST. STAVROS THAT CHICK IS HOT
she must be Method's sister though, the Carmex in the background is testament to the legions of communicable diseases found on her lips
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-26 11:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TigerLilly all i read was "BRAAAAINNNNNNSSSS"
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-26 10:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:44:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:06:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm more interested in fucking you.
===
eeeew
-----------------
Don't be jealous. Either way, I'm not into hermaphrodites. Sorry Caul but you really should have that operation. I hear there is a really good doctor in Canada so you wouldn't have to travel far.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-01-26 06:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That chick's quite a belter.
+2 MethoDrama
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2007-01-26 05:02:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She's got big boobs for a 12-year-old.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-01-26 04:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The real question is whether or not she can do a good impression of Marisa Tomei in bed.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-01-25 22:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ASS PENNIES:
A while back the US TV station Comedy Central aired a short-lived series called "The Upright Citizens Brigade". It was a comedy-skit and sight-gag kind of show. One of the episodes involved a character inserting pennies into his own ass, crapping them out, and washing them off. He would then use them (or give them as change for transactions) and be happy in the comfort that the unwitting victim now possessed an item that had once been in his ass.
There's Ass Pennies in a nutshell.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-25 21:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The 'five cheese' kind. They don't have feta. I looked. Sorry."
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-25 21:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Redskies Lookfake
Subject: damaged goods? whoa whoa whoa
x
George,
I have received some disturbing information.
Word on the streets is that the item I purchase from you at auction earlier today is potentially damaged goods.
I bid, confident that what I was bidding on was a fresh faced Greek goddess. Mustache, back hair and all.
If she has been ruined, and this is what I hear, I will have to remove my last bid.
The bid previous to that would still stand however.
Please contact me so that we may speak about this disturbing turn of events.
---
This one was me, dumbass
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-01-25 20:55:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i have the winning bid.
i offer you my sweet, ginger anal virginity.
i look forward to seeing your fake sister in the mail.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-25 20:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:00:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit it. I don't have much to offer though :(
I got 3 chrome rims... that's about it.
~~~
That must be the most bad-ass Big Wheel the playground's ever seen.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-01-25 20:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That filename makes me think he is keeping her in a cage.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd let her knock me unconscious.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:06:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm more interested in fucking you.
===
eeeew
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:09:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
You keep your grimy mitts away from her, Frenchie
===
i don't believe that this is your sister.
who would be dumb enough to post a picture of their sister?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dayum, i wouldnt mind playing connect the moles i mean dots on your her chest.
with my semen of course!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-01-25 19:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a photograph of her ass before I begin offering all my possessions.
Submitted by Tracer0351 (user info) at 2007-01-25 18:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
$1,000.00, A working, orginal copy of windows 95, with hardware that will run it, one year of tech support, and my best friends baby girl. Last offer take it or leave it.
Submitted by dexpaxas (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I've made sure to add her picture to my limewire share files under the name "armpit sex". over 500 downloads so far. Popular girl.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehe
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:59:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not surprised about the Brits, dirty bastards that they are.
_____________________________
Woman, that sounds like war.
Can it happen in the morning? I'm really sleepy.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2007-01-25 16:51:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea where I have seen that picture before but it seems strangely familiar.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-25 16:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny thing is, he accepted my offer of $1000
we all figured he'd hold out to the $2300 mark
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-01-25 15:44:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If that was (V)ethod's sister, he'd have fucked her by now.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not surprised about the Brits, dirty bastards that they are.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:56:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very beautiful young woman...
... too bad that's not really your sister.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't write any of those emails.
This is shenanigans.
Though how anyone could pass up a copy of Deathrace 2000 is beyond me...
(PS: you left out all the times you said you were going to kill me)
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:46:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh noes, Uber wont read Greek!!!!
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Θέλω να έρθω σε σεξουαλική επαφή με την στην άκρη.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
PS. You KNOW I've already had her, right?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're worse than Tiger Lily, you fucking whore.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2007-01-25 13:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit it. I don't have much to offer though :(
I got 3 chrome rims... that's about it.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very e-humpable.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give you gas money and a hand shake to bring her to me.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jebus, Herpes. Stop it replying so close to me. People will figure us out.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EAT PUSSY!
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:11:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SHENANIGANS!!!
That's just Method in a dress.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm eagerly awaiting Method's next post...
"How to get 100 ubersite users to drool over a 12 year old."
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:50:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
dude i will give up my jet ski and my half of the loot for your sisters number
=
AHHHHAHAH
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-25 12:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear it's the quiet ones you have to watch... your sister isn't a mute by any chance?
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no money to offer you Method. However, I figure an eye for an eye, right? My sister is married but I have a lot of really hot friends. Perhaps we could barter?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
George has already confided that he will let me bang his sister on the basis that I am the only one of the bidders with any culture. Plus I said I'd let him bum Davros. None of you used gaysex to get Method's attention - amateurs - all of you
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude i will give up my jet ski and my half of the loot for your sisters number
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If that's your sister, she's very hot. I do feel bad for you and it makes me glad that I don't have a sister.
However, I know that I will be cursed with daughters, given my past experiences.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry I only bid once! I got really busy at work yesterday and didn't get a chance to secure offerings befitting of such a beautiful creature. I did start a draft back to you but got called away and then bidding was over.
I'm all woman, really..I may be a little assertive and attracted to Greek women, but I've totally had a vag since birth. I get a period and everything! It's just that my lust knows no gender in this case. I was hoping she'd look more like you, though:(
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:34:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know all about ass pretzels from Mallrats, i now know it's the same premise
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
2 things:
Your sister is smokin' hot.
Redskieslookfake is a GUY?!?! I think I missed the camwhore.
Submitted by Doogsterville (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:27:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwww...she's cute.
BTW - For more on ass pennies, you should watch Mallrats.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shenanigans, but I put down 150,000,000.00 yenes whomever she is
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:21:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'd hit it
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is this? Ebay?
(Rape this item)
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-25 11:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:52:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Our stunning good looks, that's why. God had to make up for our tiny penises
-------
god only did that so you people wouldn't lose bowel control from your favorite form of sex.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you guys (Method's alters included) are going to bid using foreign currency, can you please also include the conversion to American dollars?
Thanks,
Management
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine. FINE.
TRES MIL pesetas.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
$12 million Iraqi dollars.
Submitted by Harbinger (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will bid 1 million Turkish Lira!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Our stunning good looks, that's why. God had to make up for our tiny penises
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:27:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
see here -> http://www.ubersite.com/m/98030 for a chance to buy method's sister, almost as good as a prostitute.
----------------------------------------
How very dare you
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is it that greeks only seem to have that one pose? http://www.ubersite.com/m/95238
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sister or not. she's pretty
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:06:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm more interested in fucking you.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If Method is 2/3 of Ubersite users does that not mean there is a good chance that he can artificially inflate the bid with one of his alters? Isn't that "Insider Trading"?
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Regardless of the authenticity of this being your sister, I'd pay $450 for her. So let's just remember this when scourge doesn't pay the $1,000 he bid.
But...I don't do girl on girl relationships. You already know the details on this.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:07:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed through the whole post. You have a way of bringing out the best around here. We gots some funny mutha fuckas up in dis joint. The copy of "Hercules in New York" the 1970 classical celebration of greek culture starring Arnold and the voice of someone else because he didn't speak so good back then is an offer too good to refuse.
---
I believe he was billed as "Arnold Strong" in that movie. Fantastic name.
"You have strucked Hercules."
Also John Candy's first movie if memory serves me correctly. It's brief, but he's in there.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The face that launched a thousand dipships?
No matter HOW LONG I TRIED, I could not word that in a humorous manner.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:10:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, this is choice. Very much like your sister as a matter of fact.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:09:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You keep your grimy mitts away from her, Frenchie
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:09:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh la la
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, that's what I usually tell girls too, and then we have a good laugh over it afterwards
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:07:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed through the whole post. You have a way of bringing out the best around here. We gots some funny mutha fuckas up in dis joint. The copy of "Hercules in New York" the 1970 classical celebration of greek culture starring Arnold and the voice of someone else because he didn't speak so good back then is an offer too good to refuse. An absolute classic. Finally, if that really is your Sister I must say that she looks delicious. I mean, uh, nice. Yeah that's it, she looks real nice...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're missing out. It's a really big pen.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2007-01-25 10:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA!!! Fuck bidding, we just need a Roman to come in there and rape her. She'll be ecstatic! It's like living history.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:58:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe you'd post pictures of your family for these pirhanas. Entertaining post, however.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:54:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh, I'd pee in her butt!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:52:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm.....Indo....not sure if anyone's told you, but I'm a certified zombie hunter by trade, with a little over 1000 kills under my belt. She'll do quite fine with me.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:51:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Greek? Why isn't she in a fruit shop then?
Perhaps she's Albanian.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:49:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:27:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's disgusting
-------------
No it is stupid, why would you want to pass around O's ass pennies?
It only works if the pennies come from *your* ass.
I guess I will throw a bid in here.
Since the greeks are like Jews withour money I will go ahead and throw in
-One free dreidel game as seen here http://www.milechai.com/dreidel-game.html
-A copy of "Hercules in New York" the 1970 classical celebration of greek culture starring Arnold and the voice of someone else because he didn't speak so good back then.
I know that is an overwhelming offer, but don't forget that I have my own sledge hammer, and I have studies hundreds of hours of zombie films. So when the inevitable zombie outbreak occurs your sister will be safe with me, and I promise if she does happen to get bit I will smash her once she turns. Nothing worse than zombified family members coming after you.
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:47:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You never mess with someone you knows sister.
But then again only a few people on here ACTUALLY know each other.
But my point stands.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:44:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shes a fox
Submitted by scum101 (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:41:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if i were you i would bang my sister
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Aphrodite reincarnated
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:38:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:06:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm more interested in fucking you.
What?!?!?!?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:34:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't wait for the next (\/) family reunion...
Promise me you'll post pictures when the rest of your family finds out you've been pimping your sister like a black girl named Keiana. I wanna see the looks on their faces.
_________________
my point exactly.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:34:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't wait for the next (\/) family reunion...
Promise me you'll post pictures when the rest of your family finds out you've been pimping your sister like a black girl named Keiana. I wanna see the looks on their faces.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:28:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ew...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:22:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're one to talk, eh Davey? Pretty shallow gene pool in your neck of the woods, by the looks of it.
= )
--------------
You're totally correct.
I have been led to believe that there are Greek genes in my ancestors, which would explain a lot.
-Dave
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's disgusting
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:27:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ass pennies are how you gain an upper hand in business.
Lets say you want to negotiate with a client, a stronger handshake will only get you so far in establishing the upper hand and building your confidence. But what if the guy you are dealing with has touched something that came out of your ass? You immediately know you are better than them, and this gives you the upper hand to make successful deals.
In comes the ass pennies. If you put pennies up your ass every day, then spend them in places where you know people you do business with go, eventually they will touch one of your ass pennies. Putting pennies up your ass every day and then spending them gives you the confidence that is required to succeed in the business world today.
That is why I stick to engineering.
This is all from an Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) skit, check youtube for ass pennies and I think they have the whole thing.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:20:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna dip my balls in it!!
--
haha
LOUIE!!!!!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh and his real sister is hot.
like you'd do her with the lights on.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
almost 21 eh???
hahahahahahaha.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's not her...
i am SUCH a cunt.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're one to talk, eh Davey? Pretty shallow gene pool in your neck of the woods, by the looks of it.
= )
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whoops.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:21:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:14:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have bid, but honestly I don't have anything to offer.
-----------------
I also fail to see how she could possibly be from the same spawn as you.
-Dave
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna dip my balls in it!!
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever she is, she's beautiful.
So much so that I'm not even going to add some creepy/desperate/overcompensating comment about the frequency or variety of sexual contact I would like to have with her.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:17:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
honestly, i already ate the pizza.
and i fed the milk to the cats.
i still got crayons.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll send you a caramel tim tam if you set it up for me to fingerbang your sister.
*wonders if there's anybody on ubersite she doesn't want to sleep with*
i thought you were travelling or something...
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:17:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does she know about this though?
hehehe.
There could be an almight shit storm if she doesn't and finds out.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:16:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:14:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have bid, but honestly I don't have anything to offer.
--
you could offer him the pizza and milk/crayons you were going to mail me, i won't be offended.. it would be going towards a better cause.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alright.
I'll let you off
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She's almost 21
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have bid, but honestly I don't have anything to offer.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
how old is she?!
Be ashamed........
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
= P
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:13:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU you filthy chicken rapist, she was actually asking who the fuck the ugly ogre named Godchicken was on myspace
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed all the way through.
I would make an offer... but if I won, and was hitting it... I'd probably scream "OH! Hor-hay's SISTER!".
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
;)~
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There's no way that is related to you.
*logs into myspace, clicks "view all of Method's friends!"
AHHA!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:08:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Again?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-01-25 09:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm more interested in fucking you.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-01-25 08:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This will be on Most Heated within a few hours. I just know it.