FUCKlN SM0KERS (1237 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.27 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LSD (View user info) at 2006-12-18 17:28:44 EST
THE OTHER DAY I WAS RELIEVING MY BOWELS IN A LOCAL TRAIN STATION WASHROOM WHEN THE DISTINCT AROMA OF A FILTHY CANCER STICK TICKLED MY NOSTRILS AMDID THE FETID STENCH OF THAT MORNING'S BREAKFAST BURRITO.
IMMEDIATELY, I FLEW INTO A JUSTIFIED RAGE, KICKING THE STALL DOOR DOWN, SENDING MY SHIT FLYING EVERYWHERE. THE SMOKER *COUGH*CANCERBASTARD*COUGH* WAS LEANING AGAINST THE WALL AS THOUGH HE WERE INNOCENT. I PULLED DOWN THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER FROM THE WALL AND SWUNG BACK. BEFORE HE HAD TIME TO REACT, I HAD DENTED HIS FACE.
"DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE KILLING YOUR CHILDREN, YOU SELFISH FUCK!?!?!" I SCREAMED IN HIS BLEEDING EAR, SENDING THIN STRINGS OF SALIVA INTO HIS ALREADY POOLING BLOOD.
"I DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN...PLEASE, JUST DON'T KILL ME" HE MOANED, COUGHING FILTHY BLACK BLOOD ALL OVER HIS DIRTY SUIT.
I STOMPED ON HIS RIBCAGE WITH MY FOOT, INSTANTLY SENDING A BONE SHARD INTO HIS RIGHT LUNG. A PALE GHOST OF SMOKE PUFFED OUT INTO THE AIR THROUGH HIS FILTHY SMOKER LUNG-HOLE, AND THE BASTARD HAD THE AUDACITY TO LET THE SMOKE TOUCH MY SUIT.
"YOU FUCKER, YOU'RE DESTROYING THE OZONE LAYER, KILLING CHILDREN, RAPING BABIES WITH YOUR SMOKE, AND NOW YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO BLOW YOUR TAR GAS ON ME!?!?!?! FUCK YOU, YOU IGNORANT FUCK!"
I QUICKLY SPREAD MY ASS CHEEKS AND COVERED HIS LUNGHOLE IN MY SPICY DIARRHEA. HE COUGHED DUE TO THE INTENSE STENCH AND THIS ONLY SUCKED MY TURGID STEW IN.
"HOPEFULLY MY SHIT WILL CLEAN YOUR LUNGS, TARBREATH!!!"
"OH GOD..." HE HACKED AS HIS EYES CLOSED AND HIS DEAD FACE CONTORTED INTO A GRIMACE.
AFTER SOME ADDITIONAL LOVEMAKING, I EXITED THE BATHROOM AND BOARDED MY TRAIN. FUCKING SMOKERS, HUH?
OH AND BY THE WAY, HE WAS A FUCKING MIDGET, TOO.
User Reviews
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-12-28 04:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
~~~~~~~ this is smoke coming at you~~~~~~~~ this is smoke rings ovaling at you OoooOoooo...... Kronic, not the brown stuff~~~~~~~~~~~~~OOO---oooOO- ~~~~(o)~~~~~ {contact high} OOOOOOooo~~~~~~~shotgun----OOoooooooooooo
Submitted by DarthStevious (user info) at 2006-12-28 03:32:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beastality = "Interspecies Erotica"
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-12-28 03:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gay interspecial bestiality?
Submitted by DarthStevious (user info) at 2006-12-28 02:16:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Shit...
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-19 16:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have never been more embarassed to share a species with somebody. Jesus, people...
Submitted by Aeneas (user info) at 2006-12-19 15:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope Bill Hick's ghost comes back and kicks you in the cunt you cunt.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-12-19 15:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bosh.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-12-19 14:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so let me get this straight, you are mad the the smell of his cig was masking the scent of poo?
carry on
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2006-12-19 13:52:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Typically written internet turd.
I hope you get cancer of the finger so you cant type.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-19 13:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should all be ashamed of yourselves...
Submitted by Tormencha (user info) at 2006-12-19 11:04:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your so fucking full of shit!
You couldn't kick your mothers ass...you know, that bitch that smoked while you were in her
infected womb!
Smoke this!
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:33:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, guys. Just...
wow.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-12-19 09:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
utter shit.
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-12-19 09:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:31:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
You sound like you need to relax and have a smoke.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-12-19 09:25:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd slap you but shit splatters.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-12-19 08:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pure genius
not quite sure about the ending though
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-12-19 06:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Go fuck yourself.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2006-12-19 05:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
die sucker , if a little smoke bothers you . What's gonna be next ?
My existence in general ? Nothing you should have a opinion about .
Goddamned asshole who thinks he better . You think it's ez for us smokers
to put up with you adhd's , ocd's en whatevers ?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-19 03:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ, I'm e-humping this fucking post.
um... that was 'A'greed.
agreed.
in agreement.
fuck.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-19 03:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-18 22:47:13 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because all the cappage makes me miss seeing Brian Blessed around here.
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greed. Annoying as fuck.
...yet added a little something in hindsight don't ya think?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-19 03:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
read it.
Delightfully fucked.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-12-19 03:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by big_z_1980 (user info) at 2006-12-19 02:10:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for being a prick
+2 for the picture
-2 for all caps.
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bad math.
Submitted by big_z_1980 (user info) at 2006-12-19 02:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for being a prick
+2 for the picture
-2 for all caps.
Submitted by shinebox (user info) at 2006-12-19 01:27:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JESUS CHRIST ON A FUCKEN CROSS
lsd wins
funny cunt av a plus 2
fucken el cunt
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-18 22:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because all the cappage makes me miss seeing Brian Blessed around here.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-12-18 21:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking midgets?
there you go: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96949
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-18 20:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you are not even slightly amusing
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-12-18 20:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Justified rage...heh
Submitted by The_Armed_Samurai (user info) at 2006-12-18 19:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you. I should extinguish my cigarette with your eye.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-18 19:19:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You got the 0 for the humor factor. I smoke and it is not your business, so
STFU.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-18 19:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Butler (user info) at 2006-12-18 18:12:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
You freak out about a cigarette, then you go outside and get into your SUV and drive all over town. Speaking as a smoker, I can't wait until they make cigarettes illegal! That's gonna be great. oh, I'll still smoke becuase if I can still get an 8th of weed, i'm sure a pack of cigarettes will be no problem. Anyway, once smoking is illegal, they'll be on to the next thing for tax revenue. I'm betting it'll be sugar or something that everyone uses. Then all you anti smokers will be whining about how high your taxes are. I completely agree that smokers shouldn't be able to smoke in resteraunts and I'll even go along with bars, although I don't like it. But for Christs sake, let me go outside and have a smoke in peice!!!
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Hardest fail I've ever been pained enough to read. You should seriously consider suicide, if not for your parent's sake, do it for the rest of the world - those who are not ashamed that they produced you, but just that they live in the same world as you.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-12-18 18:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60197
linkwhore +2
Submitted by Butler (user info) at 2006-12-18 18:12:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You freak out about a cigarette, then you go outside and get into your SUV and drive all over town. Speaking as a smoker, I can't wait until they make cigarettes illegal! That's gonna be great. oh, I'll still smoke becuase if I can still get an 8th of weed, i'm sure a pack of cigarettes will be no problem. Anyway, once smoking is illegal, they'll be on to the next thing for tax revenue. I'm betting it'll be sugar or something that everyone uses. Then all you anti smokers will be whining about how high your taxes are. I completely agree that smokers shouldn't be able to smoke in resteraunts and I'll even go along with bars, although I don't like it. But for Christs sake, let me go outside and have a smoke in peice!!!
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:59:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That picture is fucking disturbing....
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nowt wrong with smoking.
You get to kill cunts like Roy Castle by proxy.
It's all good.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:54:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, weird.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
First time I ever laughed at one of your posts...and I only read the first 3 lines.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:48:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S RIGHT YOU SHOW THAT DIRTYLUNGS
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:31:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree!
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TARLUNG FAGGOT ENJOY YOUR SMOKING WHEN YOU'RE IN HELL SMELLING THE SMOKE OF YOUR MOTHER'S BURNING SHIT AND PUBIC HAIR ALL BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE "COOL" OR "GET YOU CHICKS" IF YOU PUT THOSE TOXIC CHEMICALS IN YOUR MOUTH!!!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree!
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-12-18 17:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You sound like you need to relax and have a smoke.