UberMadness IV - Round Five Analysis (9002 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 1.11 on 467 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2006-11-27 08:19:09 EST
Round five is over. Round six is about to begin. We're hitting the home stretch. The high stakes. The great battles of our time. Who will continue? Who has fallen? All that, updated bracket, and how to clean your bathroom on a budget below:
WHO WROTE WHAT? WHO WON? (WINNERS ON TOP)
Pentameter
Ghola
High Stakes
Jack_McCallum
stevie_says
Titan
Stagger_Lee
Shaun_Rocks
Plan of Action
Hirilnara
Domenad
Victim of Progress
charmingly beef
Coyote
Never Again
ParlorTrick
DrogoRoch
Over the Falls
JMG114
Coley
Twilight Lost
JoeyG
Crystle
Hardcore
FunnyAsCancer
NerfHerder
Deep Forest
Kaos-King
Coleslaw_Murphy
Almost Full
JMG's ROUND FIVE FAVORITES
Stevie_says's Titan
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95993 (Entry 2)
With just enough imagination to hint at a much larger world, Steve takes you on a trip through a future where things seem at once strangely familiar and yet not all as they seem to be. Superbly crafted and well worth your time.
NerfHerder's Deep Forest
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96018 (Entry 2)
A forest glade that isn't all it appears to be is the setting for NerfHerder's latest opus. It may be his UberMadness swan song this time around, but its dreamy story blurs the line between fantasy and reality in ways you may not expect.
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ROUND SIX?
Next round starts on Tuesday Noon Nov 28 (tomorrow) and ends Tuesday Noon Dec 5. Voting ends Noon Friday Dec 8.
There will be six match-ups this round. Six chances to read, vote, and tell the Ubersite writers of YOUR CHOICE that you like their stuff. This is your opportunity to read brand-new, original material from Kaos, Pentameter, ParlorTrick, Hirilnara, McCallum, Stagger_Lee, charminglybeef, me, ghola, JoeyG, Stevie, and FAC. We'll be writing our brains out so take your time, relax, and enjoy the show.
User Reviews
Submitted by dluther31 (user info) at 2007-05-18 07:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting essay analysis like at http://www.essaybuzz.com
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-12-14 16:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more rape...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-14 02:40:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 23:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
An fuck the uberbroad!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 23:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am officially drubk.
And smoking a cigraterret.
Life is goof
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-13 22:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find concentration camp stories to be among the most disturbing. The amount of hate and pain people can harness towards each other is apalling, and very truly scary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:19:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
That reminds me... Somewhere on my hard drive I have at least two stories that were so grotesque I never even finished them. One was set at a concentration camp.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 18:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Har Har McCheatum's taking his old alter Wisher out for a spin (you should have her vote in UM)
--
News flash - Wisher isn't my alter. I'm pretty sure she isn't an alter at all.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 18:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To the dumb shit who posted this on the uberboard...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2241423 McCallum = Wisher RATINGS BOOST WOOT
I outed the alter in question (one dead for almost two years now) shortly after the comment in question. Jesus, get a life.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 17:38:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-13 16:42:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait until pictures are fixed, I can't!
Just Photobucket that shit, yo, I don't mind downloading it.
--
Does ANYONE know who this kid is talking to?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-13 17:23:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fictures are pixed! fictures are pixed!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-13 16:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait until pictures are fixed, I can't!
Just Photobucket that shit, yo, I don't mind downloading it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:41:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened to Round 6?
============
Read below.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:41:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened to Round 6?
--
Snark says he's gonna go 'hunting' for it, but for some reason I doubt him...
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-12-13 13:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What happened to Round 6?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:04:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, Snark, that when women say, "I think we should take a break," it means it's all over, everything is down the shitter.
Are you a woman, Snark? Or are you gonna man up and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!!
*inspirational sports-movie music*
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
dadada
dadada
dah-daaaa dah-daaaa!
===================
No point in submitting graphics until the site is working. Work has calmed down and I'm getting the info together for JMG now.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:43:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored. One of you fantastic authors still in this thing should write me a story.
not too gory.
~kthxbye!
--
That reminds me... Somewhere on my hard drive I have at least two stories that were so grotesque I never even finished them. One was set at a concentration camp.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-13 12:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, Snark, that when women say, "I think we should take a break," it means it's all over, everything is down the shitter.
Are you a woman, Snark? Or are you gonna man up and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!!
*inspirational sports-movie music*
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa
dah-dah-dadada
dah-dah-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa-daaaa
dadada
dadada
dah-daaaa dah-daaaa!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-13 03:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-13 00:53:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
So umm... did we decide to just end UM where it's at? I'm not complaining, just kinda curious.
~~~
Dibs on the official title.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-12-13 00:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So umm... did we decide to just end UM where it's at? I'm not complaining, just kinda curious.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-12 15:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-12 12:37:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE'S MA TITLE?
--
The Priapistic Puritan
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-12 12:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE'S MA TITLE?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-12 06:17:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:43:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored. One of you fantastic authors still in this thing should write me a story.
not too gory.
~kthxbye!
--
I just woke up from the strangest dream. If I write it out, it will gross you out.
3:30am and raining like a motherfucker.
I also woke up from a dream around midnight. That one will be my Ubermas entry now that I can tie it to a title Davros gave me.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-11 18:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bored. One of you fantastic authors still in this thing should write me a story.
not too gory.
~kthxbye!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-12-11 15:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This uberboard business is rather amusing.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-11 15:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Time off will seriously kill this thing dead.
FOOLS MWA HA HA HA HAA
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-11 14:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-10 17:01:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo and Method are now uberenemies?
FINALLY.
It's the clash of the titans I've been waiting years for.
------
I BID 200 QUATLOOS ON THE LARGE-CRANIUMED ONE
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:36:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
We've got heads on sticks...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-11 09:21:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
YOURE GOING DOWN, YOU FAT HEADED TEXAN BRIT
ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG
--
You're gonna need a bigger stick.
http://www.twoatlarge.com/usa_trip/california-pix-9.html
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-11 12:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We've got heads on sticks...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-11 09:21:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOURE GOING DOWN, YOU FAT HEADED TEXAN BRIT
ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-11 03:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Round wrap-up will be delayed a day guys. Crazy time here regarding work and the sale of the company I work for.
JMG will post it when he gets the info from me.
I'll give details regarding the holidays as well.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-10 17:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo and Method are now uberenemies?
FINALLY.
It's the clash of the titans I've been waiting years for.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-12-10 16:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:48:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and all those messages on the board? They're ALL Apollo. Including the "At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88" He wrote THAT one to throw you off, so you wouldn't think they were him.
I wouldn't have ratted him out, but he's had a tendency lately to write stupid shit up there and attach my name to the end. """
WHAT THE FUCK???
They are NOT me. Since when have I been anoymous about giving Jack shit?
Also Jack do you recall I knew about this over a year ago and sent you an email of congratulations i even said I was considering it myself.
Why would I do all this now? I've got better things to do on a weekend.
Fuck off Method. I've put ONE comment from you about your crusty faced hop along chum.
Gaylord.
We are now uberenemies.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-12-10 14:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
------------
I did.
Oh no actually I didn't, but I read it anway and would reccomend it to anyone who enjoys Uber.
It *WILL* appeal to your interests.
Read This Book.
-Dave
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-10 12:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Check your email, beefy.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-10 11:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-10 10:21:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
For the record, I'm not asking McCallum to read anything of mine -- I think he's made it pretty clear he hates my writing.
I was just interested in his experiences with self-publishing.
-
Hahaha! I don't hate your writing, man. That one word jarred me,* but overall I've enjoyed your stuff, especially for a newcomer to uber.
* The P word. I would feel wrong about using it, but I think that charminglybeef is 'taking it back' by throwing it in our faces and sticking it to the man!
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-10 10:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the record, I'm not asking McCallum to read anything of mine -- I think he's made it pretty clear he hates my writing.
I was just interested in his experiences with self-publishing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-10 10:14:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:48:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and all those messages on the board? They're ALL Apollo. Including the "At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88" He wrote THAT one to throw you off, so you wouldn't think they were him.
I wouldn't have ratted him out, but he's had a tendency lately to write stupid shit up there and attach my name to the end.
--
Sorry, man.
Damn, that's some obsessive behavior.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and all those messages on the board? They're ALL Apollo. Including the "At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88" He wrote THAT one to throw you off, so you wouldn't think they were him.
I wouldn't have ratted him out, but he's had a tendency lately to write stupid shit up there and attach my name to the end.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 23:24:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: My name is Earl Scheib and I'll publish any book for $49.95 !!! WOOT !!! - (V)
--
Anonymity means not leaving a signature...
------
Wasn't me, Jack, I don't really care enough to spend a dollar on the uberboard. In fact, I didn't even know about your book until someone put that up there, and I went ahead and read the excerpt, which was excellent. I might just pick up a copy.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-10 04:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
everybody...has a story
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 23:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: My name is Earl Scheib and I'll publish any book for $49.95 !!! WOOT !!! - (V)
--
Anonymity means not leaving a signature...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 22:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Regarding the comment from KAOS...
I am working on novels that I'm gonna push. Uber is just blowing off steam, clearing the pipes. It's not like I'm going to try to sell a short story I wrote on my lunch hour. But if I did want to, we retain the rights to everything here, and it's not like the whole world is looking at Uber...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-09 22:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:27:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
So lemme see if I understand...
You're saying I'm bipolar...because at first, I argued for Jack's honor, because he is a decent writer...
But now that everyone knows Jack has a book published, and are jumping on the bandwagon, I'm not allowed to be skeptical of this overhyped bullshit. Because I think it's stupid, that out of the blue, everyone suddenly wants Jack's advice, while up until finding out he was published, criticized him, or at least didn't respect him.
But whatever, you wanna label me bipolar because of that, fine. I wouldn't want to get into a heated argument, and give more "proof" to my disorder.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wanted to know why Jack chose to go with XLibris over some of the competitors out there, such as LuLu.com. I'm probably doing much the same thing because it would seem posting crap on Uber is considered "previously published" by many Houses. I figure if I'm already going to catch hell for being self-published online, I might as well collect my best work, put it into book form and make some money off of it.
I have enough pieces backlogged to create two distinct anthologies and I can rework "Diary Of A Kaote" into a novel easily. By that time, I can take my 87,000 word novel, (which no part has EVER appeared online, except for some random illustrations) and track myself down a lit agent. The best part about places like XLibris and LuLu are that the creator retains EXCLUSIVE ownership. This means if you do eventually get picked up by a big House, they can purchase the rights for a 2nd printing off of you.
I've always been a big fan of McCallum's and I knew he published a book over a year ago. I only brought it up again because I'm literally get ready to produce my book in the next 2 months. I'm probably not going to go with XLibris because I want a bit more control over my cover - I commissioned an original painting for the cover art. Plus, I know how to do layout and design work.
It really is a bitch to get your name out there these days: I know, I've been trying for three years. The market is actually suffering thanks to places like Amazon.com and the like. Houses want to go with big names or sure sales only, and I can understand that. With places like XLibris and LuLu.com, you pay out a slight bit, make a decent amount back, bulk your sales and build a name for yourself... then market yourself to a big House.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 22:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard: At least he completed a fucking book he may be shit but he's persistent - apollo88
I can live with that.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Uberboard makes it even easier for assholes to be anonymous...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
One more thing for our uberboard user...
Since you find using a service like Xlibris hilarious, can you send me a link to your book? The one published by a 'real' publishing house that took you on after you got an agent? That would be helpful. Thanks.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberboard - They charge extra for a decent cover. Hilarious !!! http://www.ubersite.com/m/96190#2249806
Yeah. They do. It's called 'business.'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoever posted this shit on the Uberboard has obviously never tried to get an agent.
You don't know what you're talking about, so blow it out your ass, you anonymous chickenshit.
How to get published: SEND MONEY TO COMPANIES THAT PREY ON DESPERATE WRITERS (or get a lit agent)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:11:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I submit 'Puddinger' as the title for the final.
--
Fucking Awesome...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 21:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So lemme see if I understand...
You're saying I'm bipolar...because at first, I argued for Jack's honor, because he is a decent writer...
But now that everyone knows Jack has a book published, and are jumping on the bandwagon, I'm not allowed to be skeptical of this overhyped bullshit. Because I think it's stupid, that out of the blue, everyone suddenly wants Jack's advice, while up until finding out he was published, criticized him, or at least didn't respect him.
But whatever, you wanna label me bipolar because of that, fine. I wouldn't want to get into a heated argument, and give more "proof" to my disorder.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-12-09 20:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my muthafuckin birthday!!!
+2's all around!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:40:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I was being sarcastic. Sarcastically commenting. People do it allllll the time here on Uber.
I really don't get how that's bipolar.
************
Read all of your comments on this post. See how they swing from far left to the far right?
That's where the bipolar came from....
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I was being sarcastic. Sarcastically commenting. People do it allllll the time here on Uber.
I really don't get how that's bipolar.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FAC: Commenting? "Oh, what an honor" smacks of sarcasm more than it does of an innocent
comment. I think you realy may be bipolar.
<I am not!>
<Yes, I am>
<No I'm not>
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 18:15:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
--
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
~~~
?
I was just commenting on how all of sudden everyone's like, "OMG JACK READ MY STORY."
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-09 19:11:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I submit 'Puddinger' as the title for the final.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 18:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 shit the bed with this line - "Little known fact about bums and menace: the puddinger the skin, the greater the menace."
Puddinger?
--
Yes, McCallum, I made up a word. Did that really ruin the whole story for you?
********************
Puddinger shall become the most used word in the world. It can be a noun, verb, adverb,
adjective, or an interjection. What possibilities!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 18:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
--
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 17:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
___________________
Then don't send him your shi...er...story.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
New prize for UMIV:
Rather than be crowned the UberLord, and get your user info posted smack-dab on the front page for hit-whoring and the like...
Jack McCallum will now look at what you think is publishable work and tell you it's shit.
Oh, what an honor.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:08:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Jack, copy the rest of us on that would ya?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-09 15:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
McCallum, I asked you something similar, but I guess you forsaw my use of the word 'puddinger' and decided not to respond.
I too would be very keen on hearing about your experience.
thewerdisberd.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 14:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw shit...
I think I'm up against Stevie next round.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 14:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have mail.
V
V
V
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey Jack, I'm going to be doing some stuff in the next 2 months and I could really use some of your sage advice.
How have things worked out for you with your book? Do you have a positive outlook on the experience?
How do you feel about XLibris? What about LuLu.com?
E-Mail me at antius777.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pentameter for Uberlady!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Roll Call
kaos_king
FUNNY AS CANCER
*weeps*
Dead Languages
joeyG
STEVIESAYS
*weeps*
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Paradox
stagger_lee
CHARMINGLYBEEF
--
*weeps*
No offense, Beef.
*weeps*
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 12:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is correct:
Archipelago
PARLOR TRICK
ghola
All For One
pentameter
JACK McCALLUM
Roll Call
kaos_king
FUNNY AS CANCER
The Hate Game
JMG114
hilinara
Paradox
stagger_lee
CHARMINGLYBEEF
Dead Languages
joeyG
STEVIESAYS
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-08 20:58:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
There were some people whose vote I was really proud to get competing against charminglybeef. You probably know who you are. Thanks.
Good luck for the comp, beef.
*****
At the end of the World, God will know I voted for Stagger_Lee.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How about the old saying: You can't judge a book by its cover?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-09 03:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
___________________________________________________
Worst cover in the history of publishing...
ever.
--
Yes and no, KK.
You have to pay EXTRA to use your own art, and I'm a cheap bastard. And if you look at Xlibris and see some of the god-awful in-house covers some people get, you'll see I came out OK.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-09 00:12:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everytime I think of a professionally-published Jack McCallum, I think of the basketball editor who writes for Sports Illustrated.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/archives/jack_mccallum/
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
___________________________________________________
Worst cover in the history of publishing...
ever.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 22:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just noticed the Uberboard.
Why buy this kind of publicity when others will buy it for you?
WTF people? Why haven't you bought this yet?! http://tinyurl.com/y4br94
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-08 20:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There were some people whose vote I was really proud to get competing against charminglybeef. You probably know who you are. Thanks.
Good luck for the comp, beef.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-08 19:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUNNYASCANCER
Kaos-King
Roll Call
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-08 18:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:27:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacrilicious -- I knew you knew which was mine and Stagger's. I noticed you had voted for all the others and I was beginning to wonder if you would even bring yourself to vote at all.
===
I had almost no trouble calling the pairs this round. The lapse between my votes was based mostly on the fact that I tend to leave the longer entries until later. But for possibly the first time in UM, for a minute I actually did consider not voting on the pair; I really liked both your entries. But I didn't think that was fair either, so I womanned up and cast one.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 18:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who wrote what?
--
Get the hell off my lawn, ya little punk.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who wrote what?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-08 17:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What a fuck-a-roo!!!
FAC's get what they want cause they earned it...
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-08 16:19:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Why forsake me?"
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the 3 hours I had, it wasn't bad. I really hate it when work gets in the way of my creative pursuits.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, P. Yours was just great.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:15:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You really kicked my ass Jack. Your story was excellent. Too bad I didn't really have a lot of time to write...I think my idea, if properly fleshed out, would have really been great.
Maybe I'll start the novella in my spare time.
Like in a few months or so.
Congrats!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-08 15:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
UBERMADNESS HAS NO EXIT STRATEGY!!!
Don't cut and run, you pussies!!!
Stay the course!!!
You have expended young lives, not to mention blood and treasure; to pull out now would mean the fallen entrants will have lost in vain.
Some of the stories still suck, by the way.
Three or four decent entries, tops. Every goddamn round.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:56:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
A delay might rekindle some interest in the contest... or it might kill whatever momentum currently exists.
Either way, I'm no help.
--
A delay would kill it dead.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A delay might rekindle some interest in the contest... or it might kill whatever momentum currently exists.
Either way, I'm no help.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:35:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:29:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, so I won?
--
Yes. We all decided you are puddinger.
---
Yeah, that sounds like something I'd say.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
==========
There are only about 50 individuals voting, including the participants. So what if it dwindles to 30?
END THIS MADNESS!
On the other hand, at least the entrants are trying to post something decent, which is a good thing.
Don't take a break, have this competition every goddamn day.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
-------------
Not that I matter too much for anything, but I won't be around then. I always seem to miss the very ends of these things.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:29:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, so I won?
--
Yes. We all decided you are puddinger.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 14:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, so I won?
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacrilicious -- I knew you knew which was mine and Stagger's. I noticed you had voted for all the others and I was beginning to wonder if you would even bring yourself to vote at all.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-12-08 13:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 shit the bed with this line - "Little known fact about bums and menace: the puddinger the skin, the greater the menace."
Puddinger?
--
Yes, McCallum, I made up a word. Did that really ruin the whole story for you?
---------------------------------
REALLY!??!! Damnit all. I may just have to start liking you CB.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:59:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure I got all the pairs guessed right. So far, I have. Expose yourselves!
And your entries.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh ghola. I'm... sorry.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mine was the awful one. "so i shot him"
better than a forfeit, right?
RIGHT???
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wept openly.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:37:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:31:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
You ass, I submitted that message at noon and a quarter.
<---smart.
--
Admit it. You puckered.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:31:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You ass, I submitted that message at noon and a quarter.
<---smart.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lies...
Right?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:22:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
AHAHAHA!!!
CHECK YOUR CLOCK YOU CLOWN!!!
YOU JUST DISQUALIFIED YOURSELF AND STAGGER!!!
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it safe to say, is it safe to say?
--
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:06:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author #2 shit the bed with this line - "Little known fact about bums and menace: the puddinger the skin, the greater the menace."
Puddinger?
--
Yes, McCallum, I made up a word. Did that really ruin the whole story for you?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 12:11:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
--
Thanks to the socialist anti-Christian liberal left in this country we no longer celebrate Christmas in America, so a lot of us will be sitting around and killing time.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Calling Brian Blessed!
Get in here and tell these pantywaists to stop whining!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-07 22:13:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, couldn't have taken a break last week, when every college student on the face of Earth had finals, could ya Snark?
Silly holiday-celebraters.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-08 08:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:10:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
--------------------------
I like the idea. It's nice to have a break.
-------------------------
Agreed. Things don't settle down for most people until after the new year.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-08 05:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I quit drinking because I thought I worked today.
TURNS OUT I DON'T.
AND THAT DRAG SHOW WAS RIGGED!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-08 00:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a charming..(Erm...)childrens morality tail...(or 'stach, as it were.)
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-07 23:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Accessible Morality: Johnny Bigote
There once was a boy named Johnny Bigote. Johnny used to be made fun of by all of his classmates because he was only five years old, but he had a big bushy moustache. None of the kids would ever play with Johnny except for a game called 'Rotten Johnny Moustache-cakes', where they all joined hands and encircled Johnny, teasing him unmercifully.
Johnny would go home every night and cry to his mom and dad, both of whom also had large, stately moustaches.
"Everyone at school hates me!" Johnny would cry. "And it's all because of this stupid moustache. Sometimes I wish I never had a moustache at all," and he would run to his room. Before he slammed the door he would yell, "I wish you could have just married a man without a moustache, mom, so that I wouldn't be stuck with one too."
His parents would be hurt of course, but having been through the same thing themselves, all they could do was offer him direction and hope he came of age, as all good Bigote's did.
"You know Johnny," his father would mumble from the hair beneath his nose, "when I was a boy I was teased a lot too. All of the Bigote men were. And most of the women. And eventually, what all of us learned is that having a moustache so prodigious is not a detriment at all, but an asset. Why, your great grandfather Billiam was a famous general in the Civil War. And his son was an organ-grinder, and my dad does Rollie Fingers impressions and I as you know, am the greatest Penny-farthing rider in the whole world."
At this Johnny's weeping would turn to sniffles, and he would rub at his nose and clear his eyes.
"I know dad, but it's just so hard."
"I know it is Johnny -- I know. But you've gotta stick with it kid, and one day it will all be worth it."
Keeping this in mind, little Johnny Bigote endured a torturous year of kindergarten -- one that he was very glad to see over.
In the last week of school, his classmates decided to have an enormous party. On the playground and in the cloak room Johnny would hear them planning, but he never got invited. Everyone got invited. Even Sally Rocek with the uncontrollable bowels. Little Johnny was very hurt, even though he hated every one of his classmates. Something in Johnny made him feel that this was a very important part of his life, that he shouldn't miss out.
So one day, overhearing the most popular kids in class discussing the party, Johnny got an idea.
"But where are we gonna get the liquor?" lamented Eddie Thomas.
"It simply won't be a party without hooch!" squealed Cecily Cardew.
Sitting at the dinner table that night, his parents asked him the same questions they asked him every night:
"So how was school today, Johnny?"
Naturally, they were quite surprised to hear their son reply, "Oh, excellent, mom and dad! I overheard the kids talking about the year-end party, and I think I just might be able to put my moustache to use!"
"Oh, that's wonderful son!" they both exclaimed, and they pressed no further.
The next day, Johnny Bigote didn't come home right after school. He went instead, to the liquor store by his house.
"Why hello there sir. Throwing a bit of a party?"
"You betcha," said Johnny Bigote. "It's gonna be one hell of a piss-up."
"Well, you take care now. Good day!"
And just like that, Johnny walked out, vodka and whiskey and rum and gin and vermouth and all the beer he could fit into the shopping cart in tow.
The next day was the day of the big party. All the cool kids looked bored and morose and spoke glibly of the event. That's when Johnny made his entrance.
"Hello everyone," he said coolly.
"Hey get out of here, 'Little Johnny Moustache-cakes'," said Eddie Thompson.
Cecily Cardew snickered.
"Oh, I'll leave if you want," conceded Johnny, "but then I guess I'd have to take ALL THIS BOOZE WITH ME!"
And all the children stop and stared. Eddie Thompson sidled up beside him and the room was silent, waiting on his decree. "You know Johnny, you're all right," and the entire classroom cheered.
Drinks were served and good fun was had all around. Johnny grinned from ear to ear, nursing a vodka stinger with a whiskey back. He basked in the growing drunk and the copious praise.
But then Johnny grew sad. And disillusioned. And disgusted.
"These people were never my friends," he thought. "They were the ones that kicked me and spat on me and tugged at my whiskers. And now, only after I have brought them all this booze do they treat me like a human being.
"I have indeed learned something from my moustache," he thought, "and that is that it takes a strong man to fit in, a stronger man to be different, and the strongest man of all to be different and proud."
And with that, Johnny Bigote walked down the dusty path and back to his house -- the liquor and understanding warming his insides.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-07 22:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, couldn't have taken a break last week, when every college student on the face of Earth had finals, could ya Snark?
Silly holiday-celebraters.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-07 21:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, for a good ten minutes today I thought you accidentally exposed yourself.
I mean your entry.
Turns out I just need to pay more attention.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-07 17:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ziss is KAOS, Shtarker. Ve don't 'break' here!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hell, I don't even know how long "The Secret Uber Wars" series is gonna last, and I'm writing one ever day.
Yeah, a break would be nice in UM4.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-07 16:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
--------------------------
I like the idea. It's nice to have a break.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-07 15:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm thinking of postponing the last few rounds till after the holidays.
The reason being, voting for the next round will take place the week before christmas. I'm not sure there will be many people around to vote.
What do you all think?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-07 08:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can hardly wait for round six, especially since thing going on the front page now are shit...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:26:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Futter.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Roger
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fucker!
... or something.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 15:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rut.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Copulate Furiously.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Screw.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-05 14:06:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I was thinking about writing that on every story I reviewed.
"Pretty sure number two's McCallum..."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course, it's driving me nuts trying to figure which one is you and Stagger...
V
V
V
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 13:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:24:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
I'm guessing #2's McCallum.
-
Just give up, dude.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-12-05 12:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
reminds me of something Richard M. Nixon said a long time ago
<kick>
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:00:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
anything's better than a forfeit, right?
(i had finals this week. ughgughg.gag)
------------------
Between the 13 proposals I have to get out by next Friday, the dozens of people I need to research, plus the craziness that is going on in my personal life, I'm surprised I was able to even write anything that made an ounce of sense.
I may have to withdraw from the next round because I don't see me having the time to continue.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAH!
I go away for 12 hours and come back to what looks like some fine reading and NO forfeits!
Thanks, fellow writers!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 11:48:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm wishing I would have forfeited.
God dammit all to hell.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-05 10:00:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
anything's better than a forfeit, right?
(i had finals this week. ughgughg.gag)
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-05 09:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 02:49:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you, Jared, now I've got to listen to that song.
----------------------------------------------------
I can only listen to that song as sung by William Shatner. Once you've been spoiled, you can never go back.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-05 02:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you, Jared, now I've got to listen to that song.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-12-04 22:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man
And I think it's gonna be a long long time...
- Elton John, Rocket Man
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-04 21:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
got damn.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, just you.
But that's ok. Take your time. I don't mind if you need another...21 hours or so to finish.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I see everyone is waiting until the last minute again...
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-12-04 15:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-04 07:15:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:15:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! just read the Uberboard.
Someone likes us.
------
Rock n roll.
--
into the future?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-04 14:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*tapping fingers impatiently on desk*
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-12-04 13:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well over 300 reviews, and at least a quarter of them have got to be Jack_McCallum.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-04 11:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
24 fuckin hours to go and not even 1 of 6 stories is up? What the fuck?
Fuck you. And you too, you gaping asshole.
Fucking Monday morning, fuck.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-12-04 07:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:15:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! just read the Uberboard.
Someone likes us.
------
Rock n roll.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 03:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't give up.
Give me head instead.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-12-04 03:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mine's halfwritten and I might finish it tomorrow night!
OR maybe I'll just GIVE UP.
SLUT!
SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT!
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-12-04 02:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I finished!
Let the proofreading begin!
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! just read the Uberboard.
Someone likes us.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-12-03 22:14:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm having trouble with this one. Not a terribly friendly title, is it Stagger?
Might be all you mate.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-03 17:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-03 16:31:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, a namedrop on the uberboard via this post..and I'm not even competing in UM. You'd think you could find a more relevant example to support whatever the hell your point is supposed to be.
********
I don't know what the fuck their point was supposed to be. It's my review, so they may be connecting it to my name on the Uberboard. Sure glad someone likes to spend money on that shit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-03 17:46:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-03 06:00:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
A really big glass of ice cold chocolate milk always tastes better at 3am
Why is that?
*********
Well, in my case, I spike it with a couple ounces of peppermint schnapps...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-03 16:31:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, a namedrop on the uberboard via this post..and I'm not even competing in UM. You'd think you could find a more relevant example to support whatever the hell your point is supposed to be.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-12-03 16:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberboard wasn't me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-03 06:00:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A really big glass of ice cold chocolate milk always tastes better at 3am
Why is that?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 17:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
--
Agreed. I'm a pecker... typing-wise.
When ThinkWord hits the market I'll be writing a novel every minth.
---------------------------------
See...I just got distracted for about 2 hours...and I'm going to be distracted for a few more.
It's going to be a while, my dear. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day for me so I don't know how much time I'll have to actually sit down. I write better under pressure anyway. I want to at least make you a little bit nervous...and at this point, my idea is pretty good but my mojo ain't flowin'.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 16:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Will one of you fucking losers please teach Jack how to access IM or Yahoo Instant Messenger?
He's acting more pathetic than usual in this post.
--
You let that shit into your house and the Illuminati Mind Controllers can enter your brain.
Fuck that.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Will one of you fucking losers please teach Jack how to access IM or Yahoo Instant Messenger?
He's acting more pathetic than usual in this post.
********
Too bad Jack doesn't play golf. Then he could be REALLY pathetic...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Will one of you fucking losers please teach Jack how to access IM or Yahoo Instant Messenger?
He's acting more pathetic than usual in this post.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My title ended up being kinda cool after all...
FAC is still gonna kick my ass.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
--
Agreed. I'm a pecker... typing-wise.
When ThinkWord hits the market I'll be writing a novel every minth.
*********
I had a minth once, but someone stole it....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:05:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:27:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
********
Anally retentive Bubba (that would be me) must point out that the past tense of lead is "led."
Keep that in mind, you writin mofo... :-D
--
You mangy old bastard...
********
Elderly son of an unmarried female is the preferred term , ya young punk....
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's hope ThinkWord has $%$#ing spellcheck.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
--
Agreed. I'm a pecker... typing-wise.
When ThinkWord hits the market I'll be writing a novel every minth.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 15:05:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:27:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
********
Anally retentive Bubba (that would be me) must point out that the past tense of lead is "led."
Keep that in mind, you writin mofo... :-D
--
You mangy old bastard...
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:44:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope Pantymeter is working on her damn story.
------------------------
I am working on my story. If I could think it into Word instead of writing it into Word, I would have been done about 30 minutes after I got my title. It's all this stupid work that makes it take me so long.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-02 14:27:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:04:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
********
Anally retentive Bubba (that would be me) must point out that the past tense of lead is "led."
Keep that in mind, you writin mofo... :-D
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-02 13:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So what are we looking at here, 70 or so hours until the R5 deadline?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 23:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So what are we looking at here, 48 hours until the first R5 post goes up?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:04:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
*************************
Who can point out the grammar/spelling error in this review?
--
A better question would be who can point out one of my reviews, or posts, that does not have an error in it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 11:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I lose Pentameter is going to do something to my ass. Or so I have been lead to believe. I don't know what, and I don't want to know. Following that logic, I really hope I win. Turnabout is fair play, and all that.
*************************
Who can point out the grammar/spelling error in this review?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-12-01 20:13:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:01:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee
I tried to be subtle. No one reads UM hub comments anyway, right? Sometimes I'm too resourceful (bored) for my own good.
-------
not subtle enough.
and yeah i'm lame enough to read the comments.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 19:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:51:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet!
I just won the office 50/50 draw.
Two Hunned and Forty smackers to beat my liver with.
--
Well happy fucking Friday. Damn.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-12-01 15:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet!
I just won the office 50/50 draw.
Two Hunned and Forty smackers to beat my liver with.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 14:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee
I tried to be subtle. No one reads UM hub comments anyway, right? Sometimes I'm too resourceful (bored) for my own good.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OUTED!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gonna go have lunch at Boudin* today.
(BooDEH for Caulaincourt, BoDEEN for the rest of us.)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope Pantymeter is working on her damn story.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:36:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
hey-Jack-I-wanna-XXXXX-you
--
We can discuss how I might sate your needs another time, but what I need to know right now is how in the hell did...
Oh.
Boy, is my face red.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey-Jack-I-wanna-XXXXX-you
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:17:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Searched for a particular term in your excerpt. One result, silly. Can you GUESS which one it was?
;)
--
I have NO idea. I thought I picked a fairly obscure yet disgusting excerpt.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Searched for a particular term in your excerpt. One result, silly. Can you GUESS which one it was?
;)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-12-01 13:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:32:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoaaaaa Lili
(Before my time)
--
HOW did you KNOW that?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-12-01 12:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoaaaaa Lili
(Before my time)
Submitted by