Getting Clean (395 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Heavyfoot (View user info) at 2006-11-17 08:50:26 EST
I don't normally go in for the whole relationship shit but I wrote it and if I write it I have to be willing to show it to people.
Wait. Where am I? Who are these people? How long have I been here? My heart...........where is it? Aha there it is. I should've been able to tell from the pounding in my chest. There's me thinking it was my last shred of belief in myself, bursting through my chest cavity like the alien from the film of the same name. I've been waiting for it since that damned face hugger known as paranoia turned on me, springing at my face full pelt and then sliding it's phalic tail down my throat, into my stomach and feeding off the belief in myself until there's nothing left but this twisted little monster inside my chest. It's waiting to leave me ashen, blue, cold and sunken.
Now to the matter at hand. Where the FUCK am I? I know these people. They're all faces with names that I know. But that's not addressing the real problem. Yes they have names but you can give a fucking dog a name. I want to know who they are and from this distance it's hard to tell. I thought I knew, but that familiar friend paranoia keeps me pushed against the door, my legs hugged tightly in front of me and the perspiration on my skin.
SHIT what's wrong with me? I'm like a fucking junkie without the added bonus of getting high. It's her. She's the drug. She's impossible to give up yet impossible to function properly on. She knows it too. There's something else. Just like a life destroying drug, everyone around me tells me that she's the problem and that I need to get clean. FUCK even I know that. But that infuriating yet somewhat endearing neighbour Mr Denial just keeps on giving me the excuses I need.
"I'll quit tomorrow" I'll say and they'll nod and know in their heart of hearts that I won't. I'll be back on the phone asking her when I can get another fix. Only unlike most pushers she's never quite sure. She doesn't want to be my drug of choice but being a drug is a drug in itself and now she's hooked too.
It's destroying me slowly but surely and I can feel my veins collapsing with all the intravenous use of her. Smoking her is no good anymore, I need a direct hit straight to my blood and the more I get it the more I need it.
I rush.
I crash.
I have to quit.
But she says she loves me. Maybe she means it. Why would she say it otherwise?
I'll quit tomorrow.
Since writing this I got clean and feel so much better for it. Fuck scottish women is what I say. Sorry Cookie!
User Reviews
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-11-18 19:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ZOMG COOKIELASS DO ME!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-11-17 12:09:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's alright, Gigantor. I know I don't count in that blanket statement.
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2006-11-17 11:18:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahah. It's not just the Scottish ones... trust me.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-11-17 10:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take me to the River
Drop me in the water
Take me to the River
Dip me in the water
Washin me down
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-11-17 10:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Creepy. I was listening to The Talking Heads as I opened this and saw the comments.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2006-11-17 08:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-17 08:52:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
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David Byrne. What a Genius. And you may ask yourself "Where is my large automobile?"
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-17 08:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-11-17 08:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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