Pack It Up Pack It In (3212 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.54 on 223 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UberMadness! (View user info) at 2006-09-22 13:30:56 EDT
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This post is officially part of UberMadness!. Click here for more information on the rules and restrictions. |
Entry 1
"Pack it up, pack it in
Let me begin"
TRANSLATION: Please take all of your belongings with you before we leave.
"I came to win
Battle me that's a sin"
TRANSLATION: I'm in a really big contest, and the bible states that if anybody tries to win, there will be divine retributon.
"I won't tear the sack up
Punk you'd better back up
Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up"
TRANSLATION: I may not tear your scrotum open, but you should still go away because the construction crew nearby might end up misbehaving because of your presence.
"Get up, stand up, come on!
Come on, throw your hands up"
TRANSLATION: You should be excited about the fact that you've got all of your belongings in my car for a contest in which I am the only competitor. You should also be happy that I won't rip open your junk.
"If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling
Muggs is a funk fest, someone's talking junk"
TRANSLATION: If you feel that you can defy the laws of physics, and/or that you just might be possessed, I would highly reccommend jumping across the ceiling. It's a thrilling experience. I don't really know this establishment known as "Muggs", but I hear it's a funky kind of place. Except when people are talking about the local junk yard.
"Yo, I'll bust em in the eye
And then I'll take the punks home"
TRANSLATION: Talking about this junk yard can only result in me assaulting people. I'm also the kind of guy who, when I get into some sort of altercation, will go straight for the eyes. But don't worry. Since you've most likely been blinded by the blood in your broken eye socket, I'll give you a ride home so that you don't endanger other drivers on the road.
"Feel it, funk it
Amps it are junking"
TRANSLATION: You should probably test your equipment before we take it to the local junk yard. But we won't talk about that, or else somebody will be blinded.
"And I got more rhymes than there's cops that are dunking
Donuts shop"
TRANSLATION: I would reccommend you take a trip across the United States of America, and count how many cops are sitting in a donut shop, dunking their donuts in their coffee. This is a fairly old practice, so I don't think you'll find a whole lot. But keep in mind that even though you'll only find maybe ten or twenty, I've written more than ten or twenty piece of poetry.
"Sure 'nuff I got props from the kids on the Hill
Plus my mom and my pops"
TRANSLATION: My poetry is very popular with my friends. My mom and dad also say I'm cool.
"I came to get down
I came to get down"
TRANSLATION: Contrary to popular belief, I came to this big contest so that I could party.... twice.
"So get out your seats and jump around
Jump around
Jump around
Jump around
Jump up Jump up and get down.
Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump"
TRANSLATION: Jump.
"I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe
If your girl steps up, I'm smacking the ho"
TRANSLATION: Remember the big tennis champion who won seven Grand Slam singles titles: three at Wimbledon and four at the US Open? His name was John MacEnroe. Tennis may not exactly be the most badass sport out there, but the pun is there. Oh, and if your girlfriend has a problem with my witty remarks, I can't guarantee that she won't fall down in a punching-related incident.
"Word to your moms I came to drop bombs
I got more rhymes than the bible's got psalms"
TRANSLATION: I came to say hello to all of your mothers, and then order an air strike. I also just realized that the cop analogy was a bit off, so I think that you should leaf through the bible and count how many psalms you see. That should give you a better idea of how much poetry I've written.
"And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned
Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned"
TRANSLATION: I know you haven't seen me since I joined the Air Force, and I know that it comes as a bit of a shock that I'm telling you to grab all of your belongings and take a road trip, but I also want you to keep in mind that you're safe while you're hanging out with me. Even though I'm insulting perfect strangers, I'm much too powerful for them.
"Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none
So if you come to battle bring a shotgun"
TRANSLATION: Poetry is an acceptable substitute for a bullet-proof vest.
"But if you do you're a fool, cause I duel to the death
Try and step to me you'll take your last breath"
TRANSLATION: The gaping hole in my chest where you shot me won't stop me from killing you. Before I die, I will take the paper I've written my poetry on, construct origami ninja shurikens, and hurl them into your body.
"I gots the skill, come get your fill
Cause when I shoot ta give, I shoot to kill"
TRANSLATION: I apologize for my poor grammar, but my ninja skills and gravity-defying abilities are just too much to handle. After you're done watching me jump across a ceiling, you should probably get away because I liken murder to an act of charity.
[Chorus]
TRANSLATION: Keep jumping. Exercise is good for you.
"I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top
I never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop"
TRANSLATION: I'm the best at everything because I'm such an accomplished poet, although I'm a bit worried because I equate pork to the flesh of policemen.
"Or better yet a terminator
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger"
TRANSLATION: Scratch that. Pork tastes like a robot.
"Try'n to play me out like as if my name was Sega
But I ain't going out like no punk bitch
Get used to one style and you know I might switch
It up up and around, then buck buck you down
Put out your head then you wake up in the Dawn of the Dead"
TRANSLATION: I am not a video game system. People should not say that I'm as awesome as Sega, because the Super Nintendo led the video game market in sales. But that doesn't mean I'm going to fail like the Sega. I will adapt, and you can call me "Sega Saturn". Yeah. Sega Sturn rules, and it will crush all of its competitors. And after I'm done beating you unconscious, you'll wake up and zombies will eat you. I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from with all of these analogies.
"I'm coming to get ya, coming to get ya
Spitting out lyrics homie I'll wet ya"
TRANSLATION: Forget the road trip. I'd rather chase you down into a corner, read you poetry, and then pee on you.
[Chorus]
Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump
TRANSLATION: Before we finish our workout, you'll need to jump 32 more times.
"Yo, this is dedicated
To Joe, da flava, Dakota
Grag yo bozac, punk"
TRANSLATION: I wrote this poetry for Joe Dakota. Please grab your testicles.
- VS -
Entry 2
I lowered the flame of the novelty lighter shaped like the statue of liberty down to the green forbidden delicacy. Drawing in a steady steam of air with my thumb covering the tiny hole on the side of the red and black glass-blown pipe, I watch the bright glow of a temporary burn. Releasing, it charges down my throat like a dark army whose ideals seem pretty damn splendid to me."Fuck, man," I turn to my buddy Charles and hand him the effects. He insists on being called 'Charles' even though his birth certificate clearly says 'Charlie'. I look past that about him. Sometimes you just got to give up and look past things about people. I'm probably too critical about the people near me, but I manage to look past that too.
This is how we spend our nights: smoking this "substance" like giddy school kids as if it actually is affecting us in any substantial way. I still maintain it's not worth the money some people are willing to dish out for it, but then again people tend to raise their expectancy of something when they put down more cash than the thing's actually worth. Maybe eagerness and the satisfaction of giving up hard earned money raises the potency level in some way. It's been a long time since I got it that way.
Charles, the borderline queer, sells it and smokes me for free because I'm such a good friend. The best friend anyone could ask for.
"Shit," Charles breaks the silence and starts laughing like he always does. I wish he would actually laugh. Instead it's just this half-creepy giggle to himself that severely crescendos. Stimulating conversation, you can clearly see.
I grab the remote and turn on the television and switch over to the news.
News has always fascinated me; especially when I'm pretending to be stoned. There's one newscaster in particular that still makes my skin crawl when I watch him. I can never remember his name, it's something boring; an appropriate name, you'd agree, if you ever saw this guy in action. The only movement in his body is his jaw, mouth, and hairline.
A mobile forehead that gently rocks back and forth in a mesmerising manner while the mouth stammers on and on about people dying or going to jail or growing corn more successfully this year than last. It's reassuring, I think. Kind of like "the world has problems, let me ease your mind with this gentle rocking hairline, my child". He doesn't even blink.
The stories aren't consequential to me. I mean, I'm really daft when it comes to newsworthy issues. Despite this about me, I give myself credit because I ensure that I watch the news every night. Tonight the forehead was telling us about some local boys returning from service in Iraq.
Out of nowhere Charles blurts out "how about that fucking Iraq thing, huh?" I roll my eyes at him and grab the pipe. Packing more green into the bowl I finally turn to him, in all my wisdom, and say, "you know, I think I'm full. No, I haven't eaten a good turkey dinner in too many years and I'll probably have some severe munchies in about an hour, but I'm just full. It's this thing that I'm full of," I say, pointing to the T.V.
"I'm not complaining here Charlie," he puts on an expected disgruntled face because of the name, "but I've been watching and watching and watching this guy's forehead for quite a while now and I think I'm finally done watching. I must know everything and nothing all at once, you know?"
Charles was baked. No, he didn't have a clue what I was talking about, but his disgruntled face changed slowly to a queer smile and he nodded in agreement, because that's what stoners do.
I got thinking about this more, forgetting that I was full and should turn off the T.V.; it's a reassuring background noise that hums its gentle hum to let people like us cramped up in my tiny living room know that the world's still going. People are still on the escalators to Iraq; I can still buy corn tomorrow; gas still costs money, which still infuriates some.
"This..." I trail off for a moment in thought.
"What? Hey dude check out that chick," Charles interrupts by pointing to some blond lady holding a microphone in front of a house in a predictable attempt to show me that he isn't the gay I know he really is.
"No, I'm full of that, remember?" I correct him, "As I was saying... the world is too much like some big vacuum that just loves to take it all in. No, wait, the world's more like a fish bowl that's just building up more and more grime because of the farts of politicians, school teachers, and farmers who keep it running."
Everything's a metaphor when you slowly glance around the room of a crappy apartment whose stuffy air is probably getting you higher than the delicate delicacy did. I was really full though. Glancing towards my kitchen I saw the garbage was overflowing onto the floor.
"That place looks familiar, huh? Where is that? Wait... it's coming to me... oh fuck, dude." Charles was trying to warrant my attention.
"That's it!" I said, probably more excited than I should be, all the while ignoring Charles. "The world is like a fucking garbage can that's packed to the brim but everyone's either too damn lazy or too damn stupid to change it! It's probably pretty easy to change, but it means dealing with some leftover crap that gets mixed in with other crap. Wait," Charles was tugging my shirt now and repeating my name.
"The world needs a digestive system like one giant stomach or something so when we try to pack all this shit in, it'll actually have a place to go. I think the Earth's anus should be in Antarctica somewhere..."
"Shit man! All my stuff! Holy fuck, this isn't happening. They're going to come for me! Fuck man, they're going to be here any minute!" Charles finally got my attention.
Turning to the screen I saw Charles' small off-white home behind the manly-looking blonde chick (I knew it) where there were police officers walking out his front door with masks and gloves holding Charles' plants. Fuck.
Charles was scrambling around my apartment when the story finished with that always self-masturbatory desperate last grab at importance that field reporters always do to insure that we give them credit for doing as they were told.
"Look, man, just calm down, okay?" I irrationally blurted out suddenly feeling stone sober. I was actually starting to panic too, seeing as my apartment reeks of weed and this was Charles' home away from home most of the time. What was I thinking telling him to calm down anyways? We need to get out of here. Fast.
"Let's pack up what we can and hit the road," I said, "We'll head to my sister's place and lay low for a while. It's only weed, right? It's not like this is some sort of manhunt or anything."
Charles wasn't saying a word. Maybe that's why I questioned his testosterone level at times; he never did well under pressure. I was afraid he was going to burst out in tears, to be quite honest.
After we filled a few bags full of some essential things, we left my apartment. I made sure to let my neighbor know that we were going to Mexico to pick up some things and wouldn't be back for a while.
At the bus station I finally started thinking again, to get my mind off this sudden change of events. I turned to Charles and asked him what he thought about my garbage bag analogy.
"It's definitely packed man. It's really full of shit. We need to pack up like this and just get away from it all more often, man," he said, finally cracking a smile.
"Amen to that."
Entry 1:
a_reader
abaddon
Ally788
antluvdog
AsshOly
Axolotl
BadSamaritan87
Ballare
Barnymeinhoff
bart
Berty
Bubba2341
calbearspolo
CaptainObvious
CaptainThorns
charminglybeef
Circe
COMountain
Cracked_out_cali
CRazyTALk
creep_firebombing
d_prime
DiamondEyes228
domenad
DonovanMD
drgoatcabin
Ducky
DudeThatsBOSH
Durae
EatMeCompletely
EchoBoxing
eppliks
ghola
gravitas
griffsrgr8
iddqd
Impassive-Digressive
indoninja
intellismartness
jgreening
JoeyG
JohnGalt
JonnyX
justagirl27
kaos-king
LeaderOfMen
leilani
lojope
Magicaddict
maiorano84
MandaPanda
marginwalker
Merlina
Nonentity
nyxmar
Orgasmatron
Phallic_Cymbals
PokeyMen
polyamorousaj
poochie
professorfuckface
RandomJose
redskieslookfake
rejected
Samo
seanfogy
Shaun_Rocks
simple_catalyst
Siren
sparkle_pink
Spooner
Spuds002
stevie_says
STIXS
strwbryfanatic
SullyThePirate
SunnyG
texashartattack
The_Mighty_Badger
The_taste_of_Monkeys
thorpe
tinactin
w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m
wardy
Wicked
Wiggles
WingedFoote
76 eligible votes (87 total) *
Entry 2:
Adamdidit2u
ahumblefool
Allyson
Amontillado
Antioxident
apollo88
august_sobriquet
awesome_face
BadAssJulie
badassmofo
Beano312003
Beer_bong
Bigmike
BLITZKREIG_BOB
bob
Bob_Dole
BobLobla
Brdn_Nkd
BubbaEarl
c1ndy
Chroniclysm
coley
Confuzitron
corn_nugget
Coyote
cremain
Crystle
darko
Davros
Death_Metal_Dude
Dexter-Brown
DonkeyOnTheEdge
DrogoRoch
extacy_red
firefly
FuckTheArmy
FunnyAsCancer
Genko
GetNakeddd
goferforhire
hidden101
Hirilnara
HotWillie
Jack_McCallum
Jeanneee
JMG114
joedaddy
Jorge_Burrito
Kracka
Life101
littledan
loki
LSD420
madddonkey255
Maltese
messmind
Method
morontian
NerfHerder
nrduncan
ParlorTrick
pen_name
Pentameter
prozac
QueenAshlee
rad1101
Razor
rillins
ripple
Sacrilicious
satchel
ScarfaceMN
scourge
sebcharrot
Serious_Melvin
shandythedog
Shlongy
sicosemen
Slash
Soley_Trinity
Spam
SPECIALk
Sphagnum
St_Jimmy
Stagger_Lee
The_Yellow_Dart
thedominator
TigerLilly
Tubabuhst_01
viciousness63
WiKi
William_Q_Percy
83 eligible votes (92 total) *
* Eligible votes are those made by users who had either (A) posted 3+ messages OR (B) written 100+ [lowered from 750+] reviews as of the beginning of the UberMadness! competition.
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-09-29 14:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tough title and the first one out the door, a very worthy effort by #2.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-09-27 10:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-09-27 07:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2006-09-27 05:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this was not so hard to judge...
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2006-09-26 21:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed a lot at #1.
Submitted by cremain (user info) at 2006-09-26 15:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh....
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-09-26 01:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2006-09-25 20:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by madddonkey255 (user info) at 2006-09-25 20:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-09-25 16:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-09-25 15:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The comments on here pretty much explain why ubermadness causes me stress. I didn't think either of these were awful, I mean I read them and I wasn't in pain. Methinks the ubermasses need more realistic expectations.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats it? you worthless fucks.
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2006-09-25 14:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drug stories are SO 1990s.
Submitted by Wicked (user info) at 2006-09-25 13:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Entry one was funny. "Please grab your testicles." Sorry, I laughed. Stupid, and funny.
Entry two was pointless, and dull.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2006-09-25 13:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-25 13:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Curious, Entry 2 seemed to be a massive hit with the 30+ demographic.
Although I always vote for Entry 1 except when Entry 1 is seriously terrible. I suspect most people do the same.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-09-25 13:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 1 destroyed entry 2. It was like watching a wigger fight Mike Tyson.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-09-25 12:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one while funny, became too long winded for it's own schtick
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-09-25 12:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love learning what Blackinese translates to.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-09-25 11:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KRISS KROSS'LL MAKE YA JUMP JUMP!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-09-25 10:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gotta be two...though I enjoyed the light hearted content of one and it'sclear relevence to the title, two just has to win.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-09-25 10:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Neither...
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-09-25 08:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-09-25 07:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent comedy vs. Pretty good straight fiction.
Comedy this time.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2006-09-25 06:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the part where I get sick of reading the first one, then scroll down and vote for the second one.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-09-25 06:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-09-25 05:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Translation: Jump.
HA HA HAHA
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-09-25 00:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hoors.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2006-09-24 22:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-24 20:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:49:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
God, I'm so old I remember kickin' it to House Of Pain.
------
Fuck you, I loved that song when I was growing up! Thanks for making me feel old, asshole. I still have that song on a cd somewhere along with "Baby Got Back", "The Humpty Dance", and a few others. I love that cd and I don't know where I put it.
:(
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-09-24 20:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-09-24 20:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i only glanced at entry 1, couldn't bring myself to read it
read entry 2 all the way through and enjoyed it. some subtlty there.
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2006-09-24 19:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ally788 (user info) at 2006-09-24 18:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-24 18:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn i didn't think it would come this close. Got till friday though.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-09-24 18:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-09-24 17:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Tubabuhst_01 (user info) at 2006-09-24 15:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-09-24 14:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jorge_Burrito (user info) at 2006-09-24 14:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-09-24 14:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a stupid ass title.
Submitted by poochie (user info) at 2006-09-24 13:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilario
Submitted by Allyson (user info) at 2006-09-24 12:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-09-24 10:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope these get better. I am a fan of House of Pain, but that post was terribly unfunny. You missed the mark big time.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-09-24 09:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i couldnt stand either, but i read more of 2
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2006-09-24 09:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 1 made me laugh; however, it didn't make me vote for it.
If you'd linked it with a story of some sort, rather than going through the full lyrics, it probably would have been even better and I'd have voted for you.
However, a couple of deadbeat stoners actually caught my attention.
+2 for each in turn.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-24 09:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
C'MON NUMBER ONE!
YER CATCHIN' UP TO THE CRAPPY DRUG POST!
LET'S GO NUMBER 1 LET'S GO! *clap* *clap*
LET'S GO NUMBER 1 LET'S GO! *clap* *clap*
LET'S GO NUMBER 1 LET'S GO! *clap* *clap*
LET'S GO NUMBER 1 LET'S GO! *clap* *clap*
LET'S GO NUMBER 1 LET'S GO! *clap* *clap*
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-09-24 07:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2006-09-24 03:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
la di dah
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-09-24 02:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU BOTH LOSE
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-09-24 02:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(I WASNT SAYING BOO-URNS)
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-09-24 02:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CRazyTALk (user info) at 2006-09-24 01:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahaha junk.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-24 00:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SOOOOOOO CLOOOOOOOOOOOOSE
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-09-24 00:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-09-23 22:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-23 21:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:51:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a Dem. Or at least not a Republican.
I voted #2.
Sorry to blast your theory to shit.
_________________
One outlier does not a theory ruin.
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-23 20:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-23 17:39:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-23 16:50:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have 3 Stories/Items posted before UM and my vote doesnt count? FLASHBACK FLORRREEEDUH 6 YEARS AGO NOOOOO!!!!!!!!
-----
you have to have a 100 reviews.
yes i am having flash backs of florida.
you were one of those people huh?
i mean this in the most light hearted sort of way. i'm drinking tea and eating a brownie.
laugh with me.
-----
Id love to laugh with you, but I would get yelled at because no noise is allowed in Iraq. Except a duck fart.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a Dem. Or at least not a Republican.
I voted #2.
Sorry to blast your theory to shit.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The worst part about the first UM post fo each round is you know a VERY small effort went into it.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COME ON NUMBER ONE! YOU CAN DO EEET!!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going against my self-imposed rule of avoiding this shite contest altogether because I saw House of Pain lyrics.
I was not disappointed.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart chose #1. I TOLD you only Republicans voted for #2.
Hey, W.Q. Percy, molested any kids lately?
:-D
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-09-23 19:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
entry 2 - "the delicate delicacy"
I almost want to change my vote after re-reading that.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2006-09-23 18:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-09-23 17:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay UberMadness!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2006-09-23 17:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Kind of like "the world has problems, let me ease your mind with this gentle rocking hairline, my child".
--
Haha.
Entry one was obnoxious and unimaginative... author, you should've left this as a draft to get the song out of your head so you could try again.
Entry two was full of crap but was going somewhere by the end of it... could've done more by shutting up about things like the earth's anus being in antarctica.
Overall, an unimpressive match. Round one always sucks.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-23 17:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-23 16:50:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
I have 3 Stories/Items posted before UM and my vote doesnt count? FLASHBACK FLORRREEEDUH 6 YEARS AGO NOOOOO!!!!!!!!
-----
you have to have a 100 reviews.
yes i am having flash backs of florida.
you were one of those people huh?
i mean this in the most light hearted sort of way. i'm drinking tea and eating a brownie.
laugh with me.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-09-23 17:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:02:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:18:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
i only read the first one. it sucked so i didn't read the second one. but i gave the vote to the one i read.
-
That means you vote for the one you didn't read you retard.
-
no it doesn't. GUESS WHAT? i can vote for any post i want for any reason i want! isn't ubermadness great? don't be such a retard.
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-23 16:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have 3 Stories/Items posted before UM and my vote doesnt count? FLASHBACK FLORRREEEDUH 6 YEARS AGO NOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Submitted by LeaderOfMen (user info) at 2006-09-23 16:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-09-23 15:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the first one has been done too many times before.
Submitted by DiamondEyes228 (user info) at 2006-09-23 15:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is possibly the funniest thing i have ever read.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-09-23 15:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, the title sucked. It's probably unfair to say that both of these authors are complete morons. It will be interesting to find out how the winner of this round does in the next round.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-09-23 15:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1 made me laugh
The way 2 was written bothered me, but there were some good lines..
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-09-23 14:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ScarfaceMN (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Title was retarded and things went downhill from there.
#2 made the best of a bad lot.
#1 should be put down in case he has a stupid idea like that again.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What have we learned from this entry? That people named Bob like the weed.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:18:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
i only read the first one. it sucked so i didn't read the second one. but i gave the vote to the one i read.
-
That means you vote for the one you didn't read you retard.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-23 12:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 is catching up.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:18:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
i only read the first one. it sucked so i didn't read the second one. but i gave the vote to the one i read.
fucking moron
Submitted by Slash (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i only read the first one. it sucked so i didn't read the second one. but i gave the vote to the one i read.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-09-23 11:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I am dissapointed
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-09-23 10:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I couldn't help it.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2006-09-23 10:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-09-23 10:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not just because of the marijuana. It was well written, the characters were developed in the short amount of space given, and some of the lines about the gently swaying forehead were hilarious.
Submitted by abaddon (user info) at 2006-09-23 09:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2006-09-23 09:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-09-23 09:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-09-23 09:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-09-23 08:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ouch! Some of these comments are harsh. I think the title was just crap, but good try, you two.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-09-23 08:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Number 1, did you think your post was funny, or did you just decide not to try?
Number 2, good try. Some people just aren't cut out for writing.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-09-23 07:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-09-23 04:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't read either wahaha
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-09-23 04:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-23 04:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the first ubermadness entry I've ever voted for, and even though my vote won't count, I'm doing it anyway. To tell you the truth, though, I was kind of disappointed by both of them. Crummy title?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
UM is about any form of writing. not just serious stuff.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, its way tighter than I expected.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-09-23 03:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not only was #1 different, but the very first sentence of #2 blew so much that I had to vote against it. I think #1 wins in a land slide.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-09-23 02:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:20:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
Entry 1 wasn't serious enough for me. Although, yes, it was funny, UM isn't supposed to be about funny -- it's about serious writing.
---------
Shut the fuck up maltese. UM is about writing, funny, serious, drama, action, whatever.
Best use of the title.
Christ you plageristic fuck, you're annoying.
---------------
Agreed
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2006-09-23 02:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Number one was funny, number two was well written.
They both used the title well too.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-09-23 02:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"TRANSLATION: I wrote this poetry for Joe Dakota. Please grab your testicles."
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahhh, good old round one
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Did well to raise a laugh from a tough title.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ya know, I gotta give an large amount of credit for the song translation. It probably took a good deal of effort to word out, and it was pretty funny. Alas, the story was, how do i put it, eloquent? Had a real professional feel to it. Anything that can perk my interest enough to want more of the story usually wins in my book.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-09-23 01:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Both of these were decent, I just didn't see the point to Entry 2, and didn't really like the point of Entry 1. It came down to which of the two had the better one liners.
Interesting start to the comp, I wonder why neither of the authors used the extra few days?
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2006-09-23 00:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Author two should still work on his or her grammar, though. Also, I second what Circe said about too many adjectives. Wordy does not always equal interesting.
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2006-09-23 00:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The first one was really funny, but I liked the sort of unsatisfied, drab tone of the second one.
Submitted by prozac (user info) at 2006-09-23 00:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by thedominator (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never laughed harder in my life. This was the first funny UM post that actually worked.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:08:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Only Republicans voted for #2. . .
********
See what I mean?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is there anyway I can choose neither of these stories?
NO?
Fuck.
Ok I choose #2 because well at least you told a story or tried to tell a story.
Neither of you will make it past round 2.
Have fun.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-09-22 23:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by justagirl27 (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:49:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh.
It's too bad this is a double elimination tournament so neither one of you is going to pack it up or in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
worse, these were both so bad that the loser will win by a small enough margin that its seed in the losers' bracket will be great, and thus will have a good chance of moving on.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
:(
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:44:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:34:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think it's assholy and sicosemen (or whatever his name is)
-
That's a good bet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I knew somebody would say this. That's a very bad bet.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 is closing the gap. Only Republicans voted for #2. . .
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Creative
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-22 22:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Blah blah blah. D-Prime Rules.
I will vote for 'Entry 1' every time. That is how I roll.
Submitted by CaptainObvious (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Entry 1 wasn't serious enough for me. Although, yes, it was funny, UM isn't supposed to be about funny -- it's about serious writing.
---------
Shut the fuck up maltese. UM is about writing, funny, serious, drama, action, whatever.
Best use of the title.
Christ you plageristic fuck, you're annoying.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-09-22 21:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good pick up
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry 1 was, at least, amusing. Entry 2 was written by someone who confused "good writing" with "cram as many adjectives into it as you can." It's annoying to read.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:47:51 (#)
Ranking: -1
One of these guys is going 2-and-out for sure...
-----
And the other is win 1, lose 2.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:13:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#2 just... Didn't really do it for me.
#1 wasn't great either, but it made me laugh once or twice.
While a good serious can beat a great comedy, a medicore serious can only beat a forfeit.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-09-22 20:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This reminded me of my childhood. Mostly because I am an idiot and we used to play this song frequently.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-09-22 19:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-09-22 19:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Everything's a metaphor when you slowly glance around the room of a crappy apartment whose stuffy air is probably getting you higher than the delicate delicacy did. I was really full though. Glancing towards my kitchen I saw the garbage was overflowing onto the floor."
===
Indeed.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2006-09-22 19:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That song is one of my guilty pleasures. That, and women's underwear.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
entry one totally messed up the lyrics for jump around
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fine Malt Lyrics...I like em. but how about more of a story?
Number 2 was obviously stoned when he wrote it, it reads like stoner fiction.
One of these guys is going 2-and-out for sure...
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rather than writing my post, I'm going to listen to this song the rest of the DAY. ROCK ON.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
House of Pain references are close to my heart
Submitted by Nonentity (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-09-22 18:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JUMP JUMP JUMP AROUND
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, in terms of voting. I had to go 2, but neither was very good.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:24:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean, what can you really expect from ME?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...change of pace...
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-22 17:05:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I take it back. 2 isn't the Chron. Though I am sure he could relate.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These both blew, but at least I could semi-understand number 2.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While many parts of entry #1 were amusing by themselves, it got old fast.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:34:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
i think it's assholy and sicosemen (or whatever his name is)
-
That's a good bet.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think it's assholy and sicosemen (or whatever his name is)
Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Entry one was shorter. My vote is for entry one.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 2.
Entry 1 wasn't serious enough for me. Although, yes, it was funny, UM isn't supposed to be about funny -- it's about serious writing.
Entry 2 gets my vote due to the following things:
1. It reminds of me of my times with Hennessy: two stoners just having a good time.
2. This here:
Charles was baked. No, he didn't have a clue what I was talking about, but his disgruntled face changed slowly to a queer smile and he nodded in agreement, because that's what stoners do.
Makes me think the BOSH man may have entered UberMadness.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-22 16:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
2 has to be chronic.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 = ghola?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Difficult choice.
And I think that says a lot about the second post -- that I wasn't sure if it was better than the 'Rap Lyrics Translated' formula.
Oh well -- number one had some glorious moments.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow...um...
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK i know somone used to do those posts that entry one is exactly like all the time but i cant remember who...
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:05:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
there are just so many grammar errors in the second one. it's like they didn't even read what they wrote.
-----
As opposed to giving House of Pain the ol' Chad Chamley treatment?
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anything was better than that other shit
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:05:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there are just so many grammar errors in the second one. it's like they didn't even read what they wrote.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
God, I'm so old I remember kickin' it to House Of Pain.
What a shitty title!!!
I didn't find this particular entry all that inspired, but it was amusing in it's purpose.
The compitition was good, and I would have usually given it to a bit of fiction, but had too many subtle errors to warrent a win.
Overall, this was a difficult choice for me...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh.
It's too bad this is a double elimination tournament so neither one of you is going to pack it up or in.
Submitted by The_Mighty_Badger (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Muggs is the Cypress Hill DJ/producer and also produced House Of Pain.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
these both sucked.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's ok to call marijuana marijuana or one of the many other countless slang terms for it. the way that it was written it's like you were embarrased to call it what it was. this was still slightly better than entry one though.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first one was fucking crud
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good. I liked the world as a full garbage bag analogy.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sitting in the Library laughing out loud, people think im nuts. Good shit
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entry 1: It was a good idea but I think you could have done a little better. Didn't float my boat.
Entry 2: You made two guys getting stoned as interesting as possible for two guys getting stoned.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Coin flip.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't see the reviews, so I can't tell if I'm about to be Cunt #1 or not.
This is a terribly weak opening for Ubermadness.
In Authour Two's defense I have to admit that this title is TERRIBLE, so I appreciate the solid little bit of character work presented here. Don't blame you at all for not being inspired to create an earth-shaking plot. This title is just plain old shit. I won't hold the formatting bugs against you since you only get one chance to submit in this contest and fuckups happen.
And Author #1... What the fuck were you thinking? This is Ubermadness, for fuck sake.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not entirely sure what to say about this.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I dont really want to vote for either one.
I think one's author probably would fare better in future rounds, so he gets it.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by drgoatcabin (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best of the best. mad props
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by rillins (user info) at 2006-09-22 14:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should be read in a Stuffy White Man voice.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no contest
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
House of Pain auto +2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whilst it IS impossible to read the words 'pack it up pack it in' without singing that song in ones head it was possibly best avoided.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didnt really like either to be honest, but two was better than one...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Barely.
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The second seemed a bit cliche, but the first wasn't too great.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My guess: Ghola vs. loki.
Ghola did a similar song translation before & loki allegedly smokes a lot, or so I hear.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a close vote because of the two different styles.
Submitted by texashartattack (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still laughing!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't wanna vote for that first one, but i couldn't help myself. I just couldn't ok?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm extremely pissed off at Author #1 for missing all of the Cypress Hill references in that song, and then being stupid about it.
That was a hard/kinda dumb title to work with, though.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
............
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither. But #1 was satirical at least.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-09-22 13:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TRANSLATION: Jump.
WINNAR!