The Sleepy Little Kitten (415 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.27 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nerdyjock (View user info) at 2006-08-11 02:55:59 EDT
Once upon a time there was a sleepy little kitten. He liked to play games and take long walks along the beach... but most of all, he liked to explore new places to sleep.
One morning he woke up and said, "I think that I'll explore the living room today." So he got up and walked into the living room. First, he sat on the floor and had a nice nap in the sunny spot on the floor. He was having a nice nap until his owner turned on the TV.
"I can't sleep with all that racket," the kitten said, "I think I'll try to find a better place to sleep."
So the little kitten went into the bathroom to take a nap. But again, just as soon as his eyes closed, the little kitten was awaken again. This time, though, it wasn't because of the noise of the TV, now the sink was leaking, making the poor little kitten all wet.
"This isn't a very good place to sleep either." said the little kitten. I'll go look in the kitchen.
When he got to the kitchen, the little kitten looked around.
"Aha!" He squeaked. "That'll be the perfect place to sleep." There, in front of him was a big black square hole in the wall. It was dark, quiet, dry, and warm. The sleepy little kitten climbed inside and curled up in a little ball.
"Boy, what a great bed this is. Why didn't I find this place earlier?" And the little kitten slid into a delightful little nap.
Just then, the owner came back into the kitchen, closed the oven, and set the preheat to 365 degrees. The poor little kitten never had a chance
User Reviews
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-08-11 15:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I liked it.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-11 15:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking awful
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-08-11 15:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I HATE YOU
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-11 09:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-11 09:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell im not reading all that
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-08-11 09:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
MADE ME HATE READING WORDS!
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-08-11 03:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, asshole. I know for a fucking fact that for a 20lb animal, you have to preheat the oven to 365 on a CONVECTION oven. Fucking faggot.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-08-11 03:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Once upon a time there was a sleepy little nerdyjock. He liked to play games and take long walks to the mirror... but most of all, he liked to explore new places to sleep, like alone.
One morning he woke up and said, "I think that I'll explore the living room today." So he got up and walked into the living room. First, he sat on the floor and had a gay Greco-Roman wrestling dream in the sunny spot on the floor. He was having a nice wet nap until his owner turned on the TV.
"I can't sleep with all that racket," the nerdyjock said, "Girls Gone Wild make me sick. I think I'll try to find a better place to sleep."
So the little nerdyjock/alter went into the bathroom to take a nap and read Wrestling World magazine. But again, just as soon as his eyes closed as he was about to come, the little nerdyjock was awakened again. This time, though, it wasn't because of the noise of the TV, now the sink was leaking, making the poor little fucker all wet.
"This isn't a very good place to sleep either." said the little nerdyjock. I'll go look in the kitchen. When he got to the kitchen, the little nerdyjock looked around, for anything to stick up his ass.
"Aha!" He squeaked. "That'll be the perfect place to sleep, and dream of sweaty men, with a kitchen utensil up my ass!" There, in front of him was a big black square dick sticking out of the wall. It was dark, quite dry, and warm. The sleepy little nerdyjock climbed backward onto it and curled up in a little ball. Ummmm! Fuck me.
"Boy, what a great big black dick this is! Why didn't I find this great big dick earlier?" And the little nerdyjock slid into a delightful little gay nap.
Just then, the owner/pimp came back into the kitchen, closed the oven, and set the preheat to 365 degrees. He was making trendy gay food for all the little nerdyjocks' friends who were on the way over, and of the paying verity. Ah, little nerdyjock sure made ends meet, so to speak.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-08-11 03:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
We all know animals are deaf, especially when sleeping.
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-08-11 03:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-08-11 03:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
off
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-08-11 02:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
When you're on Ubersite and you title your post "The Sleepy Little Kitten," or for that matter, anythign remotely sweet and good-natured sounding, we all already know that it's going to die in the end. So it's not a twist ending or surprising in the least. It's really hard to set those things up for a surprise when the setup itself gives away the twist.