St. Eubrie: 337 Pine St. Rip Finkleton (undercover celebrity) (415 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Eubrie
Rating: 1.33 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sicosemen (View user info) at 2006-08-10 11:48:11 EDT
St. Eubrie: 337 Pine St. Rip Finkleton
For the third time this week Rip checked his pH and chlorine levels in his pool shortly after scooping a piece of shit out of his pool. Was Smitty right? Smitty mentioned someone was shitting in his pool too, but never thought to ask Morgan or the kids about it. The pH was in a slightly elevated state as it usually is, especially now that he found someone was pissing in his pool. He's had that problem ever since he got the pool. He was starting to wonder if someone was on to him.
What else would explain the pissing in the pool, the shitting all of a sudden, and the random DV tapes in his mailbox? If he had a DV player he would be able to see roughly who the culprit is. Roughly because Marshall, the vagrant, wasn't too smart of a guy and didn't know about the night vision feature. Instead, what you would have is a grainy image of a silhouette pissing and muttering to himself followed by a light coming on and someone running. The next tape would be of the same thing, this time the guy, Smitty, would be shitting in the pool and snickering without any distractions.
Rip liked to stay relatively low key, after all he just started his new life some years back. He was a somewhat well known celebrity albeit his fame shrouded him for all the wrong reasons; hence he came to quite ole' St. Eubrie.
Kirk Johnson, as he was known before undergoing a name and identity change had almost a cult following. Very few people recognized his name but are rather familiar with his namesake.
Now as Rip, he was able to come to a quite little town and enjoy an easy life. He wears his wedding ring even though his wife left him long ago trying to mask his once promising marriage. He is very benevolent and altruistic to the point where he would give you the shirt of his back. He dressed funny, often wearing knickers, cardigans, and things that would completely throw you off from his true identity.
With shit in his pool, he began to wonder who would be deviant enough and have to resources to out his true identity. He believed that the tapes had evidence of his former life but wouldn't play them and wouldn't submit them to police just in case they contained incriminating evidence. He was sure that it wasn't anyone in his immediate surroundings because he never received dubious glares. Smitty seemed a little more on edge when he talked to him to the other day, but when was that fat, ostentatious prick not an asshole? He did tell Rip that someone was shitting in his pool too, somewhat to a relief. The two of them were the only ones with a pool on the block.
Until he was outright told of his former identity Rip Finkleton would still remain a small part of the town. He smoked pot and he got it from the Heather Archer lady over on Mahogany. They got to talking one day and next thing he knew they were smoking buddies. He almost slipped one time about his true identity after sharing a couple joints with her and those yummy, delicious buds she seemed to have a plethora of.
Nope, he'd stay right where he was, working when needed, and playing retired when he didn't need it. No matter what he did he couldn't let anyone find out that he was the man behind goatse.
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-02 17:03:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-10-05 15:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-19 15:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-10 11:50:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
35 and counting installments to St. Eubrie http://www.ubersite.com/u/sicosemen/l/st.
Does anyone want to take the intiative to update the map so that we can include everyones location, bar, church, trailer parks, newly added streets, etc? I don't. I had a hard enough time cataloguing the St. Eubrie posts.
___________
JayPeg offered to make the map. . .
WAKE UP, JAY!!!
Submitted by Snalty (user info) at 2006-08-19 15:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Hulk Hogan.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA!!!!!
Thanks for linking up my character!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-10 14:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hello? Is any one there?
*hears pin drop*
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
righty O!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-10 12:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Samo, I'm fine. If you come to talk to me, it better be +2 worthy.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-10 11:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-08-10 11:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hello Sico!! How are you old boy? You well?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-10 11:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
35 and counting installments to St. Eubrie http://www.ubersite.com/u/sicosemen/l/st.
Does anyone want to take the intiative to update the map so that we can include everyones location, bar, church, trailer parks, newly added streets, etc? I don't. I had a hard enough time cataloguing the St. Eubrie posts.