APW - Best in Show (479 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.45 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by whysenheimer (View user info) at 2006-08-09 15:58:33 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2008-06-23 17:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-08-17 22:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-08-10 23:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
eppliks
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-10 16:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EXCELLENT - THIS POST IS A METAPHOR FOR YOUR EXISTENCE
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Make that "baker's" and "invariably."
+0 for my spelling errors.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A Reading from the Book of Shitpost: 2005-12-08 (19:34:51)
It's times like these that I think back to what my grandfather used to say a lot before he died: "Gasm, he'd say," (he called me Gasm) "I believe I was born in the wrong time. Sure, I had a chance to serve my country in Korea and watch America mature into the country that it is today, but my heart was never really in tune with the times, you know? I wish I had been a caliph in India, or a Templar Knight protecting the faith in Darkest Europe. Perhaps even a coachman in the Old West, ferrying heads of state to and from the most dangerous reaches of places where the Old Law still held sway. I think of this, and it saddens me. What have I done with my time? I have bakers hands, Gasm. Does the world really need another baker?"
He'd take a slow drag off of his hand-rolled cigarette and recline. And then - and this was always the same - he'd say, "Bakers are only good for one thing: kneading dough. You have baker blood in you, mark me. Make the most of it and marry a woman with a little extra'n the side, so you can knead the night away. Your Gramma still squeals when I tickle her dough with my rolling pin. Goddamn that woman can get as wet as a fishtank sometimes. Women only get better with age, Gasm. Remember I said that."
Then he'd put his thumb in his mouth, pretend he was blowing, and cut loose an old, dusty fart ripe with a bouquet of salmon steaks, snap beans and blood.
And then he'd laugh. Oh, my stars, how he'd laugh.
Even though I knew it was coming, it'd always take me off guard. And so I'd invariable inhale some of it, through my mouth and nose.
The memory of the taste of my grandfather's asshole in aerosol form is something that I will keep with me for the rest of my days.
Reading this post brought that memory back, and for that, I thank you.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Been posted before
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:18:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll give it a zero because you irritate people and they think I'm you...
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And you wonder WHY?
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll give it a zero because you irritate people and they think I'm you, but this is nasty.
You could've at least set it in St. Eubrie, or something.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
McRectum is correct. This is actually a video of my birth and subsequent death.
Then I'm resurrected over and over and over.
It also serves as a video recreation of Jack's last date, only with a better looking bitch.
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Am I the ONLY one who reads this and is convinced this guy hasn't reached voting age yet?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That has me laughing my ass off like a retard.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
McRectum is correct. This is actually a video of my birth and subsequent death.
Then I'm resurrected over and over and over.
It also serves as a video recreation of Jack's last date, only with a better looking bitch.
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Analysis:
Childish wordplay with poster's name. -2
Takes last comment and makes feeble attempt at self-derisive comedy. -2
Tries to turn that same comment around (the 'right back atcha' maneuver). Fails. -2
Continues to slam various posts with random, bitter -2s, destroying instead of creating. -2
Continues to post utter garbage. -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking lame
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
McRectum is correct. This is actually a video of my birth and subsequent death.
Then I'm resurrected over and over and over.
It also serves as a video recreation of Jack's last date, only with a better looking bitch.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The funny thing is, every year at the family cookout whysemheimer's dad tells everyone about the night little 'w' was conceived, and it sounds pretty much like what you see in that video loop.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-08-09 16:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
holy crap i've never seen this before, please tell me where you go this so that i can go there and search out other such revelations i mean forgive me for saying it but you must know every reach of the internet to have picked out something this original, this astounding, this groundbreaking....surely you'll make the mva, mvm, mpr, dvd, sat list with this and your other fantastic postings