Damn Good Gum (811 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: serious
Rating: 1.95 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LSD (View user info) at 2006-07-26 13:34:43 EDT
Stately themes were twisted and distorted and perverted by the screaming machine.
Disgusting burps and chilling wails oozed out and into the gathering crowd. I nudged my partner,
"What a gloriously offensive tribute! We're witnessing covered up history in the making!"
The way the composer arranged his roars and shrieks seemed crude, but it was nearly
artistic when one realized that he was orchestrating boos and jeers as part of his show.
The final rumble ended in a screeching high note that threatened to make my teeth shatter into dry, bitter flakes.
A greasy promoter took the stage as the lovably oblivious artist left the stage, as though each and every
hateful remark were applauding him. The promoter slicked back his used car hair and tried to calm the crowd
with apologies for the rude spectacle that had just been quite abrasively shoved into our skulls.
I'd recently lost something very close indeed to my heart. A leather bound book filled with memories, plants, and chemicals that dripped out of my brain and onto the brown, bombed-out pages. I lost it on my first and last trip to the hottest bar in Tennessee. I passed out, woke up in the back alley naked except for my shoes which stank so bad I don't think anybody would dare to take 'em.
As we all drained out of the concert hall into the steamy night, we stumbled over each other in a daze brought on mostly by drugs and partly by the magic of live art.
But most by drugs.
The night was just as wide and open and busy as when we had all left it. I liked it like this. A beggar with a hunched back covered in rags and exotic carpets crept down the lane, asking us all if we had money to spare, as though he would make better use of our pennies and dimes than we would.
I promised myself I would give my next paycheck to charity so as to help this man from the pit he'd crawled into, but instead I spent the whole thing on booze and gum. I don't have no regrets though, cause it was some damn good gum.
User Reviews
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-26 20:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba camwhore http://www.ubersite.com/m/90963
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-07-26 18:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i always enjoy an lsd post
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2006-07-26 18:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Strangely satisfying.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-07-26 17:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-07-26 17:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't know about that.
too scattered for my tastes but I like it nonetheless.
1.5 for you
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-26 16:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Credit to the writing I think.
Submitted by HHH (user info) at 2006-07-26 16:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DSL was invented by an acidhead.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-26 15:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your name backwards is an internet connection.
Submitted by Ishamael (user info) at 2006-07-26 15:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn Good Post.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-26 15:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was kind of scattershot, but +2 for the title, and for this, because when I hear about shit like this I always think, How did he get home? Did he have an extra set of keys (up his ass, under a rug) or did he climb in a window? The mind boggles.
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I'd recently lost something very close indeed to my heart. A leather bound book filled with memories, plants, and chemicals that dripped out of my brain and onto the brown, bombed-out pages. I lost it on my first and last trip to the hottest bar in Tennessee. I passed out, woke up in the back alley naked except for my shoes which stank so bad I don't think anybody would dare to take 'em.
Submitted by HHH (user info) at 2006-07-26 14:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-26 13:59:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Judas!"
"I don't believe you...you're a liar! Play fucking loud"
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did you read my fucking mind!? awesome!
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2006-07-26 14:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this whole thing narrated in a Herbie voice.
+too for that
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-26 13:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Judas!"
"I don't believe you...you're a liar! Play fucking loud"
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-26 13:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome post. Keep em coming.
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-07-26 13:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flavor Crystals.