Paid In Full: The Malleys (858 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.23 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-07-24 13:16:46 EDT
Somewhat inspired by http://www.ubersite.com/m/90834
It was a warm July day, and the sun blazed down on the FBI agents as they waited for the scuba team to return to the Garfield docks. Their bulletproof jackets clung to their sweaty t-shirts, enveloping them in sweltering heat, but their search was drawing to a close.
The water broke, and a wetsuit-clad scuba team of three emerged from the dark waters of the Passaic River, dragging up a mossy, brackish skeleton. Its bones were desiccated and its feet were planted firmly in a bucket of cement. This man had died a watery death, it seemed.
"July 27th, 2008, 4:52 PM," Agent Fiumfreddo announced into a tape recorder. "I think we have our victim. If this is James Dupont, it will be another murder charge against Virgil O'Duinen, New Jersey mafia capo."
Indeed, as the scuba divers laid out the old, filthy skeleton on the docks, Agent Ross stood over the body and shook his head. In a breathy whisper, he muttered, "But whom killed him...and why?"
____________________________________
Three years earlier, James Dupont was far from the water-dredged remains of a corpse. He was thirty-four, successful in his life of crime and dealing people the drugs they want for different New Jersey gangs as well as the influential mafia families. He had worked the gritty streets of Paterson's 4th Ward for the Italian Dimiglio family, until the war had broken out...
The Irish Sullivan family moved in to the Dimiglio's old territory, and James Dupont found himself confronted by the tall and intimidating Virgil O'Duinen, whom tolerated no stealing. Virgil was a grey-haired old-school mobster from Morris County, and the capo of the Paterson crew.
"Yo, Jimmy," Virgil had said, calling James Dupont into his warehouse office. The makeshift headquarters consisted of a desk covered with books and papers. "The Dimiglio's don't run this town no more. You pay your money up to me, of you'll be sleeping with the fishies."
"But I have my loyalties, Virgil!" Dupont argued, getting nervous. "The Dimiglios have protected me all these years..."
In cool collective rage, Virgil drew his gun and picked up a copy of the Bible. As James Dupont cringed, Virgil fired at James, holding the Bible up to stop the bullet. He threw the perforated book at James, growling, "Next time there ain't no next time. You'll die a bullety death should you neglect payment."
____________________________________
It was a rainy day in late April, and James was working the corner selling people the drugs they want. It was also his last day of being alive.
After every transaction, James would take a small portion of the cash received and put it into an envelope, intended for his truly family—the Dimiglios. Unknowingly, one of Virgil O'Duinen's deputies, Dan McCourt, was posing as a drug consumer, and observed James' shady practices.
"Thanks, bud," Dan said cheerily, pocketing the angel dust and watching James transfer some of the payment into the manila envelope. Dan left, but as soon as James was out of earshot, he picked up his cell phone.
"Virgil," Dan said breathily. "You ain't getting' paid in full. Jimmy Dupont is selling you short."
"That greedy worthless stealer," Virgil cursed. "Tell Raymond to pass the word to Jim to meet me at my warehouse in Garfield at nine PM. We'll deal with the guy there."
____________________________________
That night, James Dupont arrived at the docks in Garfield, Virgil's envelope in his jacket. Raymond Ventry and Dan McCourt, Virgil's deputies, escorted him in to where Virgil sat, his hands steepled, at a desk.
"Jimmy," Virgil intoned, his voice calm and confident. "I have warned you plenty of times, James, that if I catch you stealing from me, that you would pay the price."
James Dupont backed up, but Raymond and Dan caught his arms, and he felt the cool barrels of guns slam into his ribs.
"I have the money, Virgil!" James shouted. "It's all here!"
"Really?" Virgil snarled. "Dan watched you for over an hour, stealing money from me. James, I have caught you, and now you must sleep with the fishies. Get him out of my sight."
"Nooo!" James moaned. "Please! Virgil! Give me another chance!"
It was too late. Dan McCourt and Raymond Ventry threw him out onto the wooden docks, knocking him unconscious with a tire iron. They placed his limp legs into a wide bucket, and filled it up with cement. When James Dupont awoke, he was under thirty feet of water, unable to see or breathe. He took a deep gasp of air, and water flooded his lungs, burning through his windpipe.
He had been delivered to his watery grave.
He had paid in full...with his life.
Nothing can stand up to the original...
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-02 11:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Paid In Full: The Malleys (666 hits)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-25 18:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Har har Electro
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-25 09:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AXOLOTL
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 05:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Paid In Full - (The Original Ubermadness Entry): http://www.ubersite.com/m/70816
DAMN, you people are good at writing a remix of my story. Part 3 of Ass Kicking in Space will be available soon.....
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-24 17:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:50:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:46:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not mine...although I'm not sure if mine is even THAT big.
Through years of use, it has eroded some, like the Mt. Rushmore.
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Gross. Like what, the skin slowly peeled off, your immense penis casting off its skin like a shedding snake, growing smaller as every season passed?
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
GOLD.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 17:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
retlas
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-07-24 17:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bullety death.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Is that a baked potato in your lap or are you happy to see me," asked the red haired bitch as she sidled up to the nerdiest guy at the party.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:46:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not mine...although I'm not sure if mine is even THAT big.
Through years of use, it has eroded some, like the Mt. Rushmore.
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Gross. Like what, the skin slowly peeled off, your immense penis casting off its skin like a shedding snake, growing smaller as every season passed?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not mine...although I'm not sure if mine is even THAT big.
Through years of use, it has eroded some, like the Mt. Rushmore.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:25:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
No...it just hangs below the hemline on my Bermuda Shorts.
Whattya gonna do, y'know?
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/55142 ?????
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No...it just hangs below the hemline on my Bermuda Shorts.
Whattya gonna do, y'know?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:50:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
No shit...even my cock has a suntan or burn.
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Nunbathe nude a lot?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No shit...even my cock has a suntan or burn.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:37:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Im gonna eat your dog.
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BUT WHICH ONE????
bwa ha ha
I have two. Pick wisely, for one is far more succulent and tender than the other.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im gonna eat your dog.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
User id: 19539
Registered on or around: 2005-06-08 17:12:08
# Messages posted: 200
# Reviews written: 4941
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 5963
# Hits: 215339
Average rating of all messages: 1.46
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Woops.
I just wasted my 200th post.
*dies*
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 15:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:59:06 (#)
Ranking: 1
Great White were the firesetters...and your picture is crooked.
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Never heard of them, and will never care. Just another washed-up 80s limp-dick rock band.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great White were the firesetters...and your picture is crooked.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:44:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
Although this line got to me "You'll die a bullety death should you neglect payment."
Bullety doesn't sound BADASS enough for Virgil...
I could be on crack though.
AUTO MALLEYS +2
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I added in that line right before I hit submit, just to keep up with Electro.
I've tried to give Virgil the most personality of any of the characters...I'm still debating if he should survive to the last episode.
...and whom should kill him, and why...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:08:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:51:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't have to justify your tan to shlongy!
That's because it's obvious that he HAS no tan, dipshit. He DOES, however, have to justify his pasty, palewhite skin hue to me.
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It's March, and I'm Irish, Mr. Shlong. Not all of us can live in HH.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:08:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:29:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:20:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Paid in Full parodies rule
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You've officially become an Ubervillain. Hello, Fetish #2.
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I don't talk picture of teenage ass at the mall though. Those hags are too old for me.
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Woo I'm 16 I can get away with that.
Except that people would think I was weird.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:02:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto golden retriever +2...you look like Rufus Wainwright
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Lord, all these 80s references...
She was after the pretzel I was eating. Her collar shows she supports Breast Cancer.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
Although this line got to me "You'll die a bullety death should you neglect payment."
Bullety doesn't sound BADASS enough for Virgil...
I could be on crack though.
AUTO MALLEYS +2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But whom killed him and why?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:51:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't have to justify your tan to shlongy!
That's because it's obvious that he HAS no tan, dipshit. He DOES, however, have to justify his pasty, palewhite skin hue to me.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:29:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:20:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Paid in Full parodies rule
=====
You've officially become an Ubervillain. Hello, Fetish #2.
------------------------------
I don't talk picture of teenage ass at the mall though. Those hags are too old for me.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
your dog and my goddaughter have the same dinner manners.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-07-24 14:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto golden retriever +2...you look like Rufus Wainwright
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't have to justify your tan to shlongy!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:32:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Then umplug your computer...slowly back away...go outside...and GET SOME FUCKING SUN.
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I'm tanned now, the picture was taken in March. Well, at least as tan as a pure Irishman can be.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then umplug your computer...slowly back away...go outside...and GET SOME FUCKING SUN.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:20:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Paid in Full parodies rule
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You've officially become an Ubervillain. Hello, Fetish #2.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:24:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who does your makeup?
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No makeup.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:24:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is like Whitesnake doing a cover of a Quiet Riot tune...
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???
No idea. Wasn't Whitesnake the ones who caused that huge fire with their pyrotechnics?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who does your makeup?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get your feet off the fucking table.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is like Whitesnake doing a cover of a Quiet Riot tune...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Paid in Full parodies rule
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 13:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Lonegan
My dad's best friend in High School.