A Candle's Flame, Extinguished By Wildfire (610 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Weber (View user info) at 2006-06-29 11:08:32 EDT
Johnny stood outside in the dimly lit alleyway and let the drizzle of the rain work it's way through his track jacket and pocket-tee. He had no idea how long he'd been standing there, let alone what time it was. The stutter of the streetlamp reminded him of last call at the end of the night. He always liked the night, God was in the night. Everything always seemed to fade away into the dark recesses that surround you. All could be forgiven and forgotten, you see, there is always something much worse afoot, something far more terrible than any event in his day. You can get lost in the night, you can let your actions get lost in the night.
Remnants of the past few hours floated through Johnny's mind, teasing his blurred vision, paralyzing his senses; he could still taste the blood. He had been drinking but the rush of adrenalin had stayed the after effects, rooting him in a spot between intoxication and euphoria. He legs were still shaking from the mile or so he just sprinted, it's funny how far and fast you can run when the very core of you is shaking with fear. He's never felt that afraid before.
The last of the fear was finally on it's way out, giving-way to a new feeling of strength and satisfaction. A wave of excitement flooded over him as he began to realize what just happened. He could still hear the sirens in the distance, taunting him as he pictured the scene at the center of the commotion. A group of people surrounding the remnants of a brutal display of hate, a torrent of rage mixed with fear. He could see their faces, the disbelief in their eyes. He heard their thoughts, they fueled his new-found strength and dispersed what remained of his doubt. He made them understand, opened their eyes to the world.
A young life, a life he hated since he was a child, a life brushed aside in the divine order. What remained was slowly dripping into the gutter, a pool of blood mixing with the rain and seeping into the granite. Johnny's blood-soaked jacket is the last physical connection the two will ever share. He laughed as it fell in the dumpster. It gave him a sense of power, the authority to extinguish a life with the motion of his hand.
"I'll never be the same again," he thought to himself as he left the safety of the alley and the lamp's yellow glow. The night shrouded him in darkness as he made his way through the side streets and alleyways, he previous actions were already melting away into the shadows around him. One can't appreciate the night until they lose themselves in it. He lost himself.
User Reviews
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-06-30 01:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-06-29 19:12:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
if you could write this story in a 'Memento' style (making the next chapter actually being what lead up to this chapter) all the way to the very start, I think this would make an awesome read.
A very vivid picture indeed...great work.
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That's a damn good idea. Memento was a great movie. If I get the motivation, I'll think about something like that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-29 19:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-16 15:31:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-15 17:37:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
y'know what's interesting, is that you started out OK with your posts, and with each successive one you have gotten steadily worse and worse.
Usually it's the other way around...
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-06-29 19:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you could write this story in a 'Memento' style (making the next chapter actually being what lead up to this chapter) all the way to the very start, I think this would make an awesome read.
A very vivid picture indeed...great work.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-29 14:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Painted a very vivid picture for me. I wish it was longer.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-29 14:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't read it, but you asked to be bashed by a tasteless linkwhore. When linkwhoring, it states in the hand book that you must note that you are tastelessly linkwhoring. You don't need to do it if it's relevant to the post.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-29 12:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by copsucker (user info) at 2006-06-29 12:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The comments on the nature of night were very good. The descriptions were excellent. Your style is similar to that used by Steven Crane in *The Red Badge of Courage."
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-06-29 11:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jesus...compared to what you've been posting to date this is a plus plus plus plus 2.
But lets be serious.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-29 11:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you ok?
You on drugs boy?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-29 11:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
too*
nurrr...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-29 11:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked the parts about what night could be, but i thought it was way to vague.