Stock Immediately (675 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.42 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bill (View user info) at 2006-05-15 15:08:23 EDT
While at Walmart one day I was walking past one of the referigerated aisles and saw a box just dumped on top of a bunch of merchandise. As I got closer, I saw that the box had "STOCK IMMEDIATELY" printed in large letters on the side. For some reason, that was the funniest thing I saw all day! I could just imagine a Walmart employee unloading a truck and coming across this box with its urgent message on it. Just on instinct, he grabs the box and bolts out of the warehouse running full tilt for the referigerated section like an NFL player racing for the winning touchdown. When he gets within ten feet, he leaps into the air towards the cooler, propelling the box ahead of him. This is where everything goes into super slow-mo... you see the guy's face, eyes wide as he sails through the air... one final push with his fingertips gives the box just enough power to make it to the cooler. BWAP! The box lands in the cooler as the heroic employee hits the tile, slides, and crashes into the edge of the referigerated cooler coming to rest in a battered heap of humanity. A hush has come over the customers and employees nearby having witnessed in awe the ultimate sacrifice of this ordinary employee. Slowly, someone starts to clap. As others join in, tears begin to flow from the eyes of the onlookers, proud to have witnessed such dedication in a man.
When I saw the box, they must have already dragged the dude away. My question is, what the hell is in the box and what do I do if I want to buy whatever it is? I suppose I should have brought a box cutter, or perhaps the manufacturer should have also printed "REMOVE CONTENTS, THEN" above the commandment on the box to avoid confusion.
User Reviews
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-16 16:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just meh
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2006-05-16 11:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-05-16 07:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-05-16 02:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aaahahahaha
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-05-15 22:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-15 17:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how you limit yourself to only posting in the 3rd week of May - it's like you're the cicada of Ubersite.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-05-15 17:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-15 17:12:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
three posts in two years?
...two reviews?
Why bother registering?
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Haha that's sweet. Bill's my new hero.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-15 17:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
three posts in two years?
...two reviews?
Why bother registering?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-05-15 16:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh...this was pretty good.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You have a very active imagination, which in this particular case, failed you miserably.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 MANWICH
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:09:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well i thoroughly enjoyed this for some strange reason, if only for the sheer randomness
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps the manufacturer should have also printed "REMOVE CONTENTS, THEN" above the commandment on the box to avoid confusion.
___________________________
Isn't this implied in the word "stock?"
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the cheeriest thing i've seen all day.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lloyds beef franks! Yummmmy.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You win. Go you.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
MANWICH!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My keen instincts are telling me it probably had something to do with Mexicans and their innate laziness.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dedicated Walmart employee.... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-05-15 15:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well i thoroughly enjoyed this for some strange reason, if only for the sheer randomness