Little League Baseball: Where Unqualified Men Teach Your Children Moral Values (2884 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.16 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by forthewin (http://www.swmoore.com/kthx.html) (View user info) at 2006-04-24 23:24:53 EDT
Little League is an organization that builds character. It teaches children to have fun, while working with other children for a common cause. Everything you need in life can be learned through baseball. (Or at least that's what they said in a movie I saw once.)
When I watch Little League games, I'm constantly reminded of the positive effect they have on the children. In fact, I watched a game today that exemplified the shining standards set by coaches and Little League officials.
The red team was up to bat first. After the 1 and 2 batter had base hits, the coach for the white team decided to intentionally walk Johnny, the number 3 batter. He probably thought it a good decision to walk the bases loaded so they could battle it out with the hardest hitter on the team. The white coach's idea must not have worked when number 4 batter hit a grand slam.
One inning later the score is about 12-0, and Johnny is up to bat again with no outs. Hey, the white coach is giving his pitcher the sign to walk Johnny again. Oh wait, wasn't Johnny the kid that the white coach had tried to get kicked out of the league earlier in the season? I'm sure it was just coincidence that Johnny was the best player in the league, and a huge threat to his team. Besides, if the little guy can't take the heat, he should get out of the kitchen.
Third inning, score's 18-0, no outs, Johnny's up to bat. Looks like another intentional walk. On one of the pitches, Johnny tosses the bat at the ball in desperation, but gets walked anyway. The umpire didn't seem to realise that tossing the bat at a pitch was illegal.
By now, the white team is looking miserable and defeated. The red team all look equally unhappy, obviously too young to understand what must be a brilliant strategic move on the white coach's part. The grin on the white coach's face indicates that he's satisfied with how things are going, despite the general sadness and confusion shared by both teams. Who cares that Johnny is on the verge of crying in the dugout. There's no crying in baseball, and if he can't learn to suck it up and build character during the events, he'll have to deal with it.
Fourth inning, and Johnny is up to bat again. Bases loaded, and 1 out. The white coach sees this as a perfect opportunity to change the tides, so he signaled for another intentional walk. Obviously walking a run in to keep the bases loaded for the number 4 batter was the right move. The white team might have turned things around had Johnny not hit one of the outside balls that was meant for walk, and hit a double for two more runs.
The final score was 26-3.
As you can see, Little League baseball operates under the intention for the kids to grow emotionally and physically. If you have a child that's 11-12 years old, I urge you to sign him/her up, so that the highly qualified coaches can set character building examples of sportsmanship, and moral values.
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-10 13:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't see why this has such a low rating (well, for you anyways).
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-05-10 22:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87753#uber_reviews
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-09 14:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AsshOly: Yeah, I know. The coachs tell the players some of the most retarded things. My little brother, who is 15, helped coach a team, and he knew more than most of the coaches.
"HOLD YOUR ELBOW UP HIGHER"
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-09 14:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted to coach this summer for my park district but I didnt get to because too many parents wanted to coach. This is what pisses me off about them:
They suck so bad. Before I go in to work I sit behind the backstop and watch them run practices and shit, and I swear to god man, some of the things they tell their kids make me so angry. Like one coach, after his third baseman made a nice play (for a ten year old) on a slow chopper to the gap between him and the shortstop, this guy tells his thirdbasemen to let that get through to the shortstop because he has a better angle on it.
there ought to be some sort of knowledge requirement for parents coaching their son's leagues. Anybody who played high school baseball should be able to coach a little league team. If that's too much, just WATCH BASEBALL ON TV. This is why the Dominican Republic is producing better ballplayers than America, because of shoddy coaching. I'm pretty sure I could take a team of normal kids to the Little League World Series and have them compete just by teaching them small ball.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-05-09 14:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, little league baseball is easily the most political organization in the history of the world. My dad coached my teams and my brother's and sister's (softball) all through childhood and never once did any of us get game balls or any sort of fucking praise in front of other kids' parents because they would go insane. Preferential treatment and such.
I cant wait until I get to coach my kids' teams.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-05-09 14:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
unfortunately assholes are a huge part of society so you will always have assholes in little league. but baseball does teach life skills and a life skill that needs to be learned by every young man is how to deal with assholes.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-05-01 17:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't understand any batting game outside cricket or spankyity-spank-spank, and even then I get confused.
So here's a bemuzed +1 for taking the time to write something decent
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chroniclysm: That is correct. But, it only takes effect after the 4th inning.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-05-01 16:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought little league had a NATIONAL mercy rule of 10 or 15 runs.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-25 16:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ampersand: No problem! (I was dissapointed when there wasn't anything there... Maybe I'll buy the domain and put good stories on it. (Stories I didn't write, of course.))
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-04-25 15:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise,
the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa on Ice
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:18:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
ampersand: Aww, poor baby. Have something for your time wasted: www.storiesthatdontsuck.com
---
Hey thanks friend!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was a little akwardly written, but it was a funny story about how seriously parents/coaches take little league. I had the time of my life playing little league!!
I hate white spaces as well.
Pity +2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for the +2.
You're right about the parents. I've seen so many parents act like retards about little league games, it's crazy. I don't know how the leagues work in other places, but around here, there are no qualifications. Anyone that wants to coaches.
But, about the game I'm referring to, most of the parents were generally disgusted/confused with what the coach was doing.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going ahead and giving you the coveted +2 here, even though your entire argument has one glaringly obvious flaw.
Have you seen the PARENTS of the kids who play little league? I'm telling you, the coaches who have lost sight of what the game is supposed to be about ARE qualified to teach moral values to some of these kids.
I've never been so disgusted by peoples' parenting skillz in my entire life as in the stands of a little league game.
Swear to God, if my kid ever wants to play little league (instead of being the lonely, dejected mysanthrope that I was) I am going to be soooooooo, so, so disappointed.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's only fun if your team doesn't blow ass.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-04-25 03:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm an umpire for Little League this year. Its fucking hysterical.
I would've been a coach, but they won't let me. Too many felonies. Like I'm the only coach who tried to get a Thai hooker to give a 3 toed sloth a handjob while licking my armpit. Whatever.
Submitted by TimTheBard (user info) at 2006-04-25 02:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so tired at actually typed the url of www.storiesthatdontsuck.com I guess good stories are hard to find at 2:00am
So...here is +2 for my injured pride
ampersand: Aww, poor baby. Have something for your time wasted: www.storiesthatdontsuck.com
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-04-25 01:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't be so harsh you homos.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The Little League I am president of runs just a little better than this.
It's unfortunate that some leagues really are run into the ground by idiot adults who lose sight of what is really important: The kids.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ampersand: Aww, poor baby. Have something for your time wasted: www.storiesthatdontsuck.com
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I keep highlighting the text area to see if maybe there's some invisible story there that doesn't suck ass. No luck yet.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I keep highlighting that blank space to see if maybe there's some invisible white text there or something. That pisses me off so bad.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Axolotl: I thought so too. After the insane number of baseball games I've watched, it starts to make sense, though.
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:25:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
True story. Great, there's a big ass blank space. Kill me please.
Drama Queen =)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Somwhat confusingly written.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
True story. Great, there's a big ass blank space. Kill me please.