Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre Presents: Something That Actually Happened to James Earl Jones (1738 hits)
Category: GraphicsLabels: ahtt
Rating: 1.96 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2006-03-31 16:47:55 EST
I took a week off. Then I took another half day off. I'm getting really really lazy with these. I don't even know where I was going with this one, actually. I think I'm relying too much on random humor. Oh well.
http://handturkeytheatre.box43.net
Why do I always link the site on here? It's only to one you already saw. Oh well, I do it anyway. Send it your friends and small children who will be excited by it.
I started a new collection. Everyone should have a hobby. My hobby is collecting books with weird titles when taken out of context. So far I have...
"Cats and Other People."
"Wild Orphan Babies"
"Famine 1975! America's Decision: Who will Survive?" (I actually gave this one away.)
"A Young Teens Guide to Marriage."
"Mr. Kennedy and the Negroes."
"The Complete Calvin and Hobbes."
Ok, the last one isn't weird, I'm just bragging that I have it.
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-04 08:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't find the Complete Calvin and Hobbes anywhere in Australia.
Fuck you.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 20:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm just trying to work out the exact moment when everybody decided to take what Sphagnum says seriously.
Sacrilicious, the answers to all your questions can be found
Here:-http://www.ubersite.com/m/84403
Here:-http://www.ubersite.com/m/85807
and
Here:-http://www.ubersite.com/m/77092
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-04-02 17:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I didn't claim to write better than anyone. I just said that I don't often write anything here."
You said you don't write anything here because serious writing is frowned upon, and said that when you write, you don't write about, to summarize your point, inane things that other people write about. It's assumed in that statement that you're alluding to the fact that you don't believe you write things that are as generic or inane.
But like I said, the thing that pissed me off was your claim that you don't write because it's frowned upon on Ubersite. That's bullshit. Serious writing is welcome on Ubersite. To a smaller audience and fewer ratings, granted, but if you're writing just to get ratings you're doing it for the wrong reason to begin with.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-02 16:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 15:09:29 (#)
Ranking: -1
I just choose not to, because writing is frowned upon around here.
========
So is -2ing posts all day long, whether they deserve the rating or not, which you tend to do.
So is my looking at MRR some days, and seeing ALL 10 posts were just -2'd by you.
So is spamming people you don't like with poor ratings, which you tend to do.
So why not write something too- even if you think it's frowned upon?
Fair question?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 15:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know whether it's because you retards have comprehension issues or whether it's because my review was written in an Australian accent.
I didn't claim to write better than anyone. I just said that I don't often write anything here.
Gaypeg was trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Unfortunately, that only works when he's sporting a 25lbs bag of M&Ms.
The rest was nonsensical horseshit which IS solely your opinion on how things work.
Unfortunately, I'm not interested in your opinion on anything.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 15:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hits and good ratings are not what I'm after here.
Hot chicks are what I'm after.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-04-02 15:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Just because I don't write about pie-eating contests at the back alley gay brothel like you do, doesn't mean that I can't write.
I just choose not to, because writing is frowned upon around here."
---
(Preface the following with "unless you're being sarcastic...")
What? Man, I'm just going to say it, I think this might be an excuse to not post honest work because you worry it will be rated badly.
Serious writing is frowned upon here? Ok, I can buy serious writing is underrepresented, and serious rating is a little ignored, but it's by no means frowned upon. If you write a quality series you'll get positive ratings, you'll get an audience, you'll get read.
But you shouldn't write just to get hits.
And you shouldn't write just to good ratings.
So your argument is bullshit. Don't go around saying you can write until you prove it. "I can do it, I just don't want to" hasn't been valid argument since I was dared to drink spit in third grade.
I'm not mad you gave me a -1. Doesn't bother me and never will. I'm just saying don't walk around claiming you can do things you have no intention of actually doing. Don't walk around telling people you could write better than them if only you really wanted to.
Either write something or shut the hell up.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 15:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Follow the crowd Jaytard.
It's what you do best.
If you were half as intelligent as you were obese, you would understand that my critique did not draw any parallels with my own work. It was merely my appraisal of what seemed to be a lacklustre and over-rated post.
Just because I don't write about pie-eating contests at the back alley gay brothel like you do, doesn't mean that I can't write.
I just choose not to, because writing is frowned upon around here.
In closing, I'd like to invite you to participate in a brief union of your sugar-encrusted lips and my hairy ass.
Bon apetit.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-02 08:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh heh, Ned the Racists earned you the +2. With his little turkey shaped hood.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-01 23:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-01 09:14:39 (#)
Ranking: -1
You get a +1 for effort.
Apart from that it didn't make me laugh, cry, smile, burp, shit myself, die or anything of the like.
How it is 2 on 27 reviews I'll never know.
Try making it funny or interesting next time.
------
That's coming from Spahgnum.
You know, the resident SUPERDUPERWRITER here at Ubersite.
If you're going to try and criticize like Shlongy, at least know what the fuck you're talking about, mkay?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-04-01 22:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-04-01 09:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hard freakin' core.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-01 09:14:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You get a +1 for effort.
Apart from that it didn't make me laugh, cry, smile, burp, shit myself, die or anything of the like.
How it is 2 on 27 reviews I'll never know.
Try making it funny or interesting next time.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-04-01 08:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed up until the end. It sucked at the end. But I guess so does every SNL skit and I love that too. The beginning and middle more than made up for it.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-01 06:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
super
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-01 02:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-04-01 00:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is solely given to Ned the Racist
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-03-31 23:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoohoo
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-31 22:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitty reason!
-2DIE!
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE
+2 for Spencer!
Hey, how'd you do that?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-31 22:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Ned, the Racist, what wacky thing will you do next?! I should've known you were up to something when you opened that plaque-making shop!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-31 22:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-31 20:30:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it, that's good.
Spence, you haven't rated Limbo...
---
That's because I don't read Limbo. No offense, I just don't read series.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 21:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahhah!
Brilliant.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-03-31 21:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-03-31 20:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-31 20:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it, that's good.
Spence, you haven't rated Limbo...
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-31 19:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
long live spencer thompson
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-31 19:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:01:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
viva la AHTT.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-31 18:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto+2
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-03-31 18:09:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS TWO
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, that was certainly wacky. Maybe not "crazy whack funky," (as Humpty Hump might say) but still wild and crazy.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these fucking turkeys.
You don't even want to know about the voices I give each of them
-------------------------------------------
AHHH I'm not the only one! Maybe I don't need my meds adjusted after all...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:30:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA HA HA!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:13:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these fucking turkeys.
You don't even want to know about the voices I give each of them.
---
Oh, c'mon, do share!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That wacky Ned the Racist. I think I see a steady character in its early stages.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these fucking turkeys.
You don't even want to know about the voices I give each of them.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:13:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brav-o.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:05:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that the inside of someone's mouth???
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-03-31 17:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
viva la AHTT.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-31 16:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought the story was perfect for AHTT, but was a little dated. Then I saw hell.
viva la AHTT.