Fish Hooks and Mermaids (801 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.75 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lightning Lad (View user info) at 2006-03-09 02:13:15 EST
Hey all. Been a long time since I posted anything here. Thought I'd test this one out. Sure some of you will hate it, but thanks for the feedback regardless. Thanks.
*****
I have this... distaste in my mouth. Metallic, and it stings when I press my tongue against it's edges. Don't know what it is.
Looking through this book right now. Looking for something good, for something that I can share with the world.
There's nothing. Nothing at all.
Been forming ideas for two years. Can't put any of it down on paper. So lost. So scared. I feel so insignificant.
Think I've been losing my way. Thought I was on the right path, turned out it wasn't a path at all. Didn't notice 'til my feet were bloody and I couldn't turn back again. Figured it'd be best to keep going. Maybe I should've just sat down. .
The sun's so hot, here.
Think it's raining outside. Don't know. Doesn't make much sense, really. Think I'm losing touch with the world.
Yesterday, I remember walking down the street. I remember feeling quite normal. Didn't think anything was wrong at all. Today I can see the web again. See the way it's all interconnected. Seeing the way it's all slowing my down. Everything. The...
There's got to be a plan or... or... something. Too incredible to be otherwise.
I do believe in Darwinism, and that's not what I was talking about.
Eating fish right now, come to think of it, and it's got legs too.
Creating the perfect body takes work. Start with the fish. You need to eat lots and lots of fish. Protein and oils, see? And white fish too. None of that pink crap. The pink crap's as bad as anything. Filled with parasites that eat your brain. No way out. No way out.
Eat the fish down. Salt it if you need. But the salt's bad too. Just feels good going down. Makes that thing in the back of my mouth sting like a mother fucker. Everything does.
Press my tongue against it. It seduces me like an itch in the back of my brain; like a song I can't quite remember, and tantalizes me like lightning shooting acrosss a blackened sky.
Notice the blue around it's edges? That never used to be there. Noticed it today for the first time.
I...
Start with the fish and then massage the brain. You do this with a comb. You can find combs anywhere; I found mine at a bus stop. It's black, with golden teeth, and it scratches flakes off my scalp.
Someone wanted to give me a haircut, but they ran away when I found them scissors.
I don't get people. They say they want to help, but they run away.
I don't have a disease. I don't have anything wrong with me at all. The world's what's wrong.
I want to squeeze and shoot the splooge of Starbucks into outerspace. Feel the release. Let the world begin again.
Nobody listens. Always listening or chatting. Looking at their little phones, or their little computers. Watching their little movies on the big fucking bus full of dozens of other people who are listening to their little fucking music boxes. You know what I think? I want them to listen to me, so I ask one a question. He ignores me. I tell him to take of his fucking head phones so that I can have a fucking decent conversation.
The bus stops, and they tell me to get off. The fuckers! I just wanted to have someone listen to my voice. Wanted them to hear something real for once. Not something that's modified to entertain.
Think it's a fish hook in my cheek. Wonder how I got here, under the water. Is it my bathtub? That doesn't explain...
Wanted to write this all down once. Wanted to color the world with truth. Honestly, that's all I wanted. Went down to far, I think. Not sure where I stand anymore, and it's all so fucking confusing. But I'm sure that I'm right. Sure that there's something wrong, that the world ain't right...
Want to be a mermaid. Think that's the best way; to be away from it all. Imagine the lack of sunlight, the silky green of the depths, and the seaweed flowing like hair.
I see...
Blood like curtains as I bite into the fish. Reminds me of this dream.
I'm starting to think that I can only write these fucking insane stories. Is this all that's in me? This confusion? This darkness?
I envy you. I envy every fucking one of you fuckers that can write a fucking cohesive sentence in this world of mud.
Can't make sense of it at all.
Just know that something's wrong.
That I should get out of this fucking bathtub and let my cheek heal.
That I need to build the perfect body.
Fish. Exericise. Combs.
Whatever else.
Before nothing matters but the whole.
Lose one's self to the world.
Distaste and distance.
Solice in the dark.
And somewhere,
User Reviews
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-03-09 08:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-09 07:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-09 06:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-09 02:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it was ghola that made stream-of-consciousness cool again around here.
This was pretty well-written, and flowed well. I enjoyed it.