“How ninnies choose sexual partners” or “How a DanceClub resembles an auction yard” (1184 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.39 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (View user info) at 2006-03-02 18:17:32 EST
I'd only ever been to this particular dance club once before, more than a year ago. It's not that I don't dig the place, it's just not the place where my pals and I normally choose to drink and dance. The crowd is younger 20-35, where the priorities are Look Good, Drink, Dance, Still Look Good, Drink, Have Fun, Drink, and, if you're lucky, Score!! Not that these priorities are much different than at other drinking establishments, it just seems when the crowd is a little older, "Look Good" doesn't hold the same level of importance as "Have Fun"
I've always believed that the power of the "Score" lies in the chick's hands. The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES. I have felt the power of saying NO. I think if I had one piece of advice to give to someone who wants to play the "scene" ... it'd be to "never underestimate the power of saying NO". Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm a tease or anything, I've just found that the best rides are on the RollerCoasters have take forever getting up that first incline. The suspense, the excitement, the anticipation of sailing over the edge for the first time, mmmmmmmm...
sorry I just distracted myself....
I don't think any of the club goers last night were interested in suspense, or anticipation. I felt as if I should have been watching a live webcam on the National Geographic Channel. They were all just cocks lookin' for pussy, and pussy looking for cocks, and pussy lookin' for pussy. The songs were mostly dance tripe with the familiar thump thump thump I've grown fond of. The dance floor is sunk below the rest of the club, so when you dance all the other patrons can stand around the arena and watch. I remember going to animal auctions with my Dad as a kid. They'd bring out the Bulls, Calves, Cows etc. in the ring, walk it around a little, "make it dance" so to speak. Dad always said "you gotta know you're getting' a good animal"...
A pal of mine commented that Darwin would be shocked if he saw the display before us last night. I said that it wasn't about picking a mate, or making wise evolutionary choices, it was about f*cking. But then it occurred to me, what if these people did mate, by accident, or even on purpose?? And then, as I watched the girls line up to get soaked for the wet t-shirt contest, I wondered if these girl's parents had been to this same bar??
User Reviews
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-21 09:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-02 18:48:57 (#)
Ranking: -2
needs more rape
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*snort*
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-14 17:11:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-03-03 18:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Clubs are for the weak.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-03 18:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
that's why I always check their teeth
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-03 11:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
no, usually the best rides are the ones that just know what they want and go out and get it. if you build up anticipation and then suck, then you were a shitty tease.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 11:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've just never got down with it when it's big bad and heavy. Afterall Born Slippy was dance music, and that's ace!
Drive boy dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy
You had
hands girl boy
and ste-el boy
You had chemicals boy
I've grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy.
Drive boy dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy
You had
hands girl boy
and ste-el boy
You had chemicals boy
I've grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy.
Let your feelings slip boy
But never your mask boy
Random blonde bio high density rhythm
Blonde boy blonde country blonde high density
You are my drug boy
You're real boy
Speak to me and boy dog
Dirty numb cracking boy
You get wet boy
Big big time boy
Acid bear boy
Babes and babes and babes and babes and babes
And remembering nothing boy
You like my tin horn boy and get
Wet like an angel
Derail
You got a velvet mouth
You're so succulent and beautiful
Shimmering and dirty
Wonderful and hot times
On your telephone line
And god and everything
On your telephone
And in walk an angel
And look at me your mom
Squatting pissed in a tube-
hole at Tottenham Court Road
I just come out of the ship
Talking to the most
Blonde I ever met
Shouting
Lager lager lager lager
Shouting
Lager lager lager lager
Shouting...
Lager lager lager
Shouting
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega
Shouting lager lager lager lager
Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
So many things to see and do
In the tube hole true
Blonde going back to Romford
Mega mega mega going back to Romford
Hi mom are you having fun
And now are you on your way
To a new tension
headache
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Which I think you can agree is perhaps more relevant now in this post Iraq invasion world than it was when it was written.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-03 10:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I strongly dislike most dance songs, and can hardly understand why anyone would -- but it's good to dance too.
Some of the metal guys are like that over here, too. I know of one guy who has a tatoo of a heart in a glass box -- he tells girls it's to symbolize how fragile his heart is.
I cry myself to sleep every night for that guy, I feel so sad for him. <--- insert sarcasm here
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 10:11:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The metal people? No problems.
Does this same trend exist in Europe, Berty?
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The metal people are a bunch of cliquey pricks. Music facism is a way of life for them, they always think they're right about everything but often seem to have difficulties maintaining long term relationships. They wear whatever mental illnesses they can get diagnosed with like medals, they always talk about the same old shit.
But they don't cause trouble. So for that I'd rather spend time in their company than any other bunch of pricks with something to prove.
Dance music is better than metal.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-03 10:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't like crowds, annoying people, or idiots, which pretty much rules out going within half a mile of any dance club (no offense, mate).
Not to generalize, but it seems that people who go to clubs for hip-hop music and dance music are the biggest pricks. I occassionally work in a bar that has a hip hop/dance music night and a metal night. The hip hop night is by far the worst night for violent kickouts because the patrons are all jackasses. Every guy is trolling for ass in their baggy pants and sideways hats, and every girl is dressed like she's getting ready to film a porn scene called 'two in the pink, one in the stink.' Any time one of the bouncers asks a guy OR girl to leave because they're too drunk, they get belligerent and start to posture.
The metal people? No problems.
Does this same trend exist in Europe, Berty?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:49:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I love dance clubs. Proper bangin' dance clubs though, not gayness pumping R & B bullshit mega fests like The Works. I'd go to Ibiza but I don't like crowds or excitment over long periods. Kind of why I live in Birmingham.
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*images of Berty leaping around to The Final Countdown - possibly doing the facial expressions and looking beseechingly to the heavens*
Not Montagues and Capulets
Banging tunes and DJ sets.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love dance clubs. Proper bangin' dance clubs though, not gayness pumping R & B bullshit mega fests like The Works. I'd go to Ibiza but I don't like crowds or excitment over long periods. Kind of why I live in Birmingham.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh heh, I love Berty.
Sounds like every dance club in the world (although this one has a wet T shirt contest, so obviously it's much better). It's rather ridiculous.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm kidding. Death is actually a myth, nobody ever really gets old and dies. They just get put in a coffin and buried in the ground and then nobody ever sees them again.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:39:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:23:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope!! it'll be a few years yet before I'm 40....
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Congratulations! You win the prize of impending decrepitude.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-03-03 09:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope!! it'll be a few years yet before I'm 40....
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 08:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-03 07:51:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Women rule the world. They have half the money
and all the pussy.
Berty, who told you 40 is old? Punk.
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Bubba. Be serious for just a moment. Have you ever seen a forty year old woman giving it large to big beats, throwing gawky bears and popping pills? I mean it's bad enough when young people do it but when you see an older person do it it's ridiculous.
Not that any bouncer would let you in. "You're too old" they'd say, "you'll throw the kids into an existensial crisis and make them question their own mortaility".
Submitted by DrKlepto (user info) at 2006-03-03 08:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES"
------------
Sometimes its up to the girls best friend to come over and snatch her away because she has a boyfriend (apparantly)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-03 07:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Women rule the world. They have half the money
and all the pussy.
Berty, who told you 40 is old? Punk.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-03 04:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This lacked oomph. You ever read Trainspotting, or seen the film for that matter? That bit when Renton is talking about clubbing, the "no men, no women; just wankers. I think it's great" is what you needed. The whole urban poet thing.
Also how old are you? 40? You're too old to go clubbing, it's an obscenity.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-03 04:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Philst82 (user info) at 2006-03-03 04:24:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES"
It shouldn't have to be this way.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-03-02 21:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG!!!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-02 19:54:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more Ghostbusters.
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-02 19:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 18:27:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
"The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES"
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Not true.
Can someone say "Surprise sex!"
================================
Not after the tongue gets cut out...she can't really say anything.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-02 18:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
needs more rape
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-02 18:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES.
___________________________
So many terrible things I could say here.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 18:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES"
----
Not true.
Can someone say "Surprise sex!"
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-03-02 18:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"The guys can try all they want, but ultimately it's up to the girl to actually say YES"
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I believe this line may generate a few disagreeing reviews.