The hell is the book of the month club? (1001 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: work
Rating: -1.1 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awesomeface (View user info) at 2006-02-18 13:40:03 EST
It was another shitty Saturday at work. I come in 15 minutes late cause I was taking nap in the parking lot. I walk in not dressed and hung over. My boss is in the front waiting for me holding his coffee like Bill Lumbergh.
Except my boss is not Bill Lumbergh and he's a pussy...unlike Lumbergh.
He starts to ask a question and I say just say "No." before he can even finish. I take his coffee and drink it. I don't like coffee but that's not the damn principle. The principle is that everything is mine. If you disagree then go make a cup of coffee and see what happens.
So anyway I walk into the back and sleep in the bathroom for a half an hour. I finally get dressed just so I can look important and tell people what to do.
I walk out into the floor and theres some guy waiting at my tower. Hes dressed atrociously gay with his arms folded and doing that gay lean that gay people do. The most annoying part is his little green bag that says book of the month club.
The fuck is the book of the month club?
Thats a proper noun too. Im not even going to captilize it cause it sounds so stupid.
"Ummm yes sir, I had some odd service charges on my account and ummm..."He started to say but was interupted mid sentence by a bitch smack.
Man did he scream like a girl. I smacked his hat off and started dragging him by his hair in the back. He was kicking and screaming and it was pissing me off.
When Awesome Face smacks you then you stand there and take it. Don't scream like a little bitch. Ill follow you into Starbucks and when they call your drink up to the counter Ill walk up and take it.
After I brought him in the backroom I chained him to the wall and poured a barrel of goat blood on him. He just wouldnt stop screaming. How annoying. And what the fuck is the book of the month club? Who the hell carries a bag like that around? Does he have books in it? Who the fuck carries books around?
Since he was still screaming I made it my objective to make him as sad as possible.
Now the only thing worse than having something done to you that you don't like is having something you do like done to you while someone is doing something you don't like done to you.
Well this book fucker is obviously gay. So I shoved my cock into his mouth while he was chained down. Then I started thinking to myself he probably just likes this.
So I set his book of the month club bag on fire and threw it at him. He started screaming again and I got pissed. So I shoved the captain back into his mouth to shut up him.
My boss walked in the back and he was looking at what I was doing. He had a new cup of coffee and I could tell he wanted to ask what I was doing. But he didn't cause he knew I would drink his coffee again.
In the wise words of Hollywood Psycho "Rape isn't about sexual preferences, its about power."
Damn right it is.
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FUCK BOOK OF THE MONTH!
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-27 12:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because its fuckin hilarious!!!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh god. Somebody resurfaced my worst post ever.
PLEASE GOD NO MORE REVIEWS!!!!
READ THE UNDERDOGS!!!!
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
why the fuck did this resurface?
anyway I made a cup of coffee and nothings happened.
kinda like your life.
i mean a lot like your life.
nah...just kidding.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that's so BOSH!!!!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-02-19 16:52:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by malkavian (user info) at 2006-02-19 14:37:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So I was reading this and telling myself: "Man, is this bullshit!" and suddenly I realise it is one of Awesomeface post. No wonder. Oh, and this made me laugh:
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Submitted by SiddleyHawker (user info) at 2006-02-19 00:20:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
It sounds like a Fat Tony meets Maddox post. -2 for you.
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You're still a Maddox wannabe, bastard.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-02-19 09:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Aw shaddap.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-19 06:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
At the current rate of progress, this post will hit
the most reviewed list in 8,327 years. . .
Submitted by SiddleyHawker (user info) at 2006-02-19 00:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It sounds like a Fat Tony meets Maddox post. -2 for you.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-02-18 19:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Look how long it took to get his second...
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-02-18 14:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haha, it took you 40 minutes to get one review.