Help me name my new dog. W/ hellbilly encounter excerpt for apollo. (2997 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.32 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MickGinny (View user info) at 2006-02-12 11:01:52 EST
This is a jack-a-pug; a Jack Russell terrier/Pug. Don't try and make me feel better by replying with how cute she is, I am aware that she is mofougly. She is 8 months old. Her verjiner looks like an eggplant....it is a bit disturbing.
The previous owners called her Bandit. I don't like it. But she responds well to it so what I am asking for is phonetic suggestions.
The hillbillies that previously owned her had only one word of caution for me when I picked her up;
Hillbilly wife:
"I'm warning you in advance, she don't like the colored's."
Hillbilly husband piping in from the living room:
"she don't liked the colored's"
My daughter:
Well I cant really express what she said because she didn't actually say anything. It was one of those expressions that speaks word-perfect without being heard.
MickGinny trying to keep from cracking up:
"really? (As I pet and speak to the dog that the hillbilly wife is holding) awww, you don't like the blacks girl?"
Hillbilly wife:
"Well, I don't know why, but she don't. She brought one over here(as she pointed at her daughter who was about the same age as my daughter and who coincidentally was wearing nearly the same expression as my daughter except that her jaw was hanging a little lower and her cheeks were flushed out red) and the whole time she was here, she chased her around and barked at her...she don't do that to white folks"
Mickginny:
"well maybe she had a bad experience in the past like a colored wouldn't share their crack with her or something"
at this point my daughter and the hillbillies daughters faces were EXACTLY the same.
The hillbilly wife gave me a dirty smirk, but the hillbilly husband was busting up laughing in the living room.
So, you know you can think I am bullshitting you about this or you can just ask BLITKRIEG_BOB if he thinks it is far fetched.
User Reviews
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-27 13:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why isn't she chasing that smug as shit cat you have there on the floor?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-14 08:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I took a shlongy this morning, too. It must have been the ribs last night.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:21:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
You didn't like my first suggestion? Gee whiz.
Try this one on for size then.
"Go fuck yourself".
He'll come runnin'.
_________________
its not that I didn't like your suggestion shlongy, its just that it is quite apparent that your reading and comprehension skills have diminished over the years. Most likely from getting your head bounced off of barroom floors due to your smart mouth and self-important attitude.
FYI, I did try your second suggestion. It did not have the desired effect. She just looked at me queer, then grunted and pinched off a shlongy.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Back in undergrad, a stray that looked almost exactly like your dog but black, came to live with us. We named him "Punt."
I hope the name doesn't require too much explanation.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:27:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm surprised at how many people never had seen an ash bucket from a coal stove.
________________
I am surprised by someone like caul who lives in a freaking open air deep freezer.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:25:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
syndrome.
old joke but still funny.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You didn't like my first suggestion? Gee whiz.
Try this one on for size then.
"Go fuck yourself".
He'll come runnin'.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm surprised at how many people never had seen an ash bucket from a coal stove.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why the fuck do you have a washtub in your living room?
My vote goes to the Orgasmatron suggestion of "Mantits."
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-13 08:36:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe every word.
I'd name her Malcolm X just to spite the hicks.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-02-13 08:12:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute dog.
Name it kay-kay... as in k.k.k. Can't lose.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-13 07:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-12 13:06:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you talking about? That dog is cute. So is the cat. And those are some biiiig feet.
_________________
yea, adorable...?
Unfortunately, the myth is busted.
Submitted by ImNewHere (user info) at 2006-02-13 07:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
name him Doogie
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-02-13 06:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whiskey
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-13 06:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"stfu, this piece of furniture (is that a futon?) must be 15 years old. Your commercial rug is stained. There is a bucket of water which I assume is the latrine that you and your pets share. And there is what seems to be a can of worm left to your hand.
You could only get like 1 acre of property with that."
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maybe it would afford me only one acre in Ontario or BC... but I could become a freakin land baron in Quebec if I threw in my matching lazy boy rockers and the 13 inch COLOR tv. dats right, you heard me COLOR baby.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-13 05:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Call her Bitch.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2006-02-13 04:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zero Bootfuck.
Seriously I named my bird that and it killed my dog. With that name you can't lose.
I can't remember who came up with that origionally but I'd buy them dinner if they could prove their credit, just email me.
The Bang
Submitted by Demos74 (user info) at 2006-02-13 02:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Check this out, I heard it somewhere, and I cant get it out of my head.
Name it: KERFUCKEN!!!
Here boy, here KERFUCKEN, here boy! ITS GREAT!
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-02-13 02:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Name him "Dog" just to piss people off!
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-02-13 02:15:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scruff McGruff
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-13 01:07:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ, where do you live? I've met born/bred North Carolina-ers who are less racist.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-02-12 22:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-12 21:58:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-02-12 20:34:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
nice living room...white trash
___________________
yes white trash America. A good example of the trashiness is the piece of furniture I am sitting on...which holds the same value as 2 or 3 acres of property up your way.
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stfu, this piece of furniture (is that a futon?) must be 15 years old. Your commercial rug is stained. There is a bucket of water which I assume is the latrine that you and your pets share. And there is what seems to be a can of worm left to your hand.
You could only get like 1 acre of property with that.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-02-12 22:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love dogs.
Name it after how it looks. "Confusion".
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-12 21:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-02-12 20:34:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
nice living room...white trash
___________________
yes white trash America. A good example of the trashiness is the piece of furniture I am sitting on...which holds the same value as 2 or 3 acres of property up your way.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-02-12 20:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice living room...white trash
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-02-12 18:05:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-02-12 15:32:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Klan Kit"
HAHAHHAHAHA
PERFECT
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-12 18:04:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Handclit
Mantits
Manbits
Grandshit
Tangrits
Standsit
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-02-12 17:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Call it Dog.
Or Cat, this will give it a complex
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-02-12 17:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 dog. A jack/pug mix huh? She's cute but you know she'll probably end up being annoying as hell with that combo and you'll end up calling her "fucker" or "little shit" anyway so why not just go with one of those? At least she's not a Puggle(pug/beagle mix). Those things are horrible and shouldn't be bred.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-12 17:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2006-02-12 16:31:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
i used to have that same rug
________________________
its my real hair.
Submitted by vettesrule88 (user info) at 2006-02-12 16:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i used to have that same rug
Submitted by gothica (user info) at 2006-02-12 16:18:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how about lil bit or killer?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-12 16:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-02-12 15:14:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe hit it with "Sandtits".
______________________
my favorite as well. however it would be a tough sell for me.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-02-12 15:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Klan Kit
(Noose, gasoline, big cross, ghost costume, and a barrel filled with shine)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-02-12 15:14:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe hit it with "Sandtits".
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-12 15:04:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-02-12 12:48:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
>my daughter and who coincidentally was wearing nearly the same expression as my daughter
I expect this "coincidence" happens alot when there are more people than genes.
_________________________________________
I suspect you "furiously masturbate" 5-7 times per day. And that your car sounds like a weed wacker.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2006-02-12 14:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
defa
defa dog
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-02-12 14:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have no options for dog name sorry but your cat is cute.
Animals actually respond to how you say the name rather than the name itself, so I'd guess any two syllable name would do.
I called my cat Peugeot.... don't ask me...
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2006-02-12 14:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there was a little dog at the persons house i was at last night. i saod the dog looked like its name should be twinkle, and then made evrybody call it twinkle all night. by the time we were leaving, the poor little dog was answering to twinkle! funny stuff, i wonder if its ignoring whatever its real name was today...
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-12 14:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She looks like a Samantha. Try it out and see how she responds to it.
My parents' old cocker spaniel Brandy hated black people too. It always embarrassed my parents to death when their friend Pastor Eddie came by to visit and Brandy would go totally apeshit.
Submitted by steolav (user info) at 2006-02-12 13:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
call it rover
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-12 13:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you talking about? That dog is cute. So is the cat. And those are some biiiig feet.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2006-02-12 13:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not sure what i'd name it if it where mine.
if you use one of the names people post, when some one asks you the name, are you going to say that you polled a bunch of internet personalities and this "peener" was the result?
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-02-12 12:48:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
>my daughter and who coincidentally was wearing nearly the same expression as my daughter
I expect this "coincidence" happens alot when there are more people than genes.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-12 12:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:41:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
Habeeb
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very viva-voce suggestion shlongy...idiot.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-12 12:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't call it Shlongy.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bandit. Ratshit. Gambit. Sandtits. Dammit. Rammed it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Habeeb
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
.damn, jethro! I done meant to say "Squidbilly"
.....y'all come back now, ya heya
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:28:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
...name her Rusty....after rusty culyer, early culyers' illegitimate progeny on adult swims "suidbilly" show,
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:16:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:10:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Woofers McGee
------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:15:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, now that i read it, name her bandaid.
i had a dog that someone named cornbread (?!? wtf, i know) so i changed it to corndog and it worked great!
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aww!! too cute
name it cheech
or chong
or mary
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Woofers McGee
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-12 11:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
she is cute!~ i want one