What Really Happened In Chicago (1276 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.27 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (View user info) at 2006-02-06 15:48:04 EST
Hey Aj, I think there is something you should see....
User Reviews
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-02-07 11:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I played detective and unfortunately it's no one's baby. This sonogram was taken in 2004 as detected in the picture. Therefore, I must profess that Colonel Custard was the killer in the den with the candlestick.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-07 10:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like a chicken wing in the top right picture.
WTF? Was Colonel Sanders at the Ubercon?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-02-07 09:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, I knew you two would hit it off.
Ahhh sweet uberbabies!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-07 04:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:16:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
would you prefer the coat hanger with or without the rust.
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HaHa.
-Dave
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-02-06 21:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:53:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I see two vaginas making love.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-02-06 20:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I see three arms. You're going to have a freak baby!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I see two vaginas making love.
Submitted by remote_narcotic (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck dude, when we were playing Halo I was stoned.
That and Danzig punched me in the balls!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure attest is the name of a band. Also, that "tendency" you speak of is highly reminiscent of the same quirk my brother has......
your mother is a harlot. MOTHER!
Mother
Tell your children not to walk my way
Tell your children not to hear my words
What they mean
What they say
Mother
Mother
Can you keep them in the dark for life
Can you hide them from the waiting world
Oh mother
Father
Gonna take you daughter out tonight
Gonna show her my world
Oh father
Not about to see your light
But if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till your bleeding
Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's
Mother
Tell your children not to hold my hand
Tell your children not to undesrstand
Oh mother
Father
Do you wanna bang heads with me
Do you wanna feel evrything
Oh father
Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till your bleeding
Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's
Yea
Not about to see your light
But if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till your bleeding
Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Mother
Yea
THAT SHIT IS HARDCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOHHH MY GOD SOMEONE PUNCH ME IN THE FACE BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL LIKE DANZIG!!!! I WANT TO FEEL THE PAIN THAT DANZIG FEELS ALL THE TIME THAT FUCKING PANSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You HERETIC. After I kill grandma, I'm coming after you. I looked into it and it seems the only way to really be sure if you're my father is through what we professional humans call "tendencies".
Eg: I often feel compelled to see if I can jump over bushes when I see them, and I often do, although usually not very successfully.
Can you attest to this?
(WTF is "attest")
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 19:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I meant "had" in the sense that I banged her like a toy poodle Dart, and i said mother a lot to you because I really, really fucking like Danzig. Right on. LOOK AT ME COVERING UP MY FLAWS!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 18:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
first off, shlongy, love ya like in that totally dudesque way of yours, not butt-love, but seriously man, lighten up on that clamp you got. This is me, baby. ME we're talking about here, and i am special. SPECIAL, like red star in the night sky singing it's lullabies like a lost lover, who's really stoned and likes to describe things.
But seriously, give me a dollar. Or here, you like gambling right? Meet me in atlantic city, you pay for shit, if i get rich, we split it, right? i'm totally not addicted to crack, i won't do anything irrational. Please, i understand you might be against an organization set up to help us in our time of need, but hey, friend to friend here man, love it or leave it. You see these pictures? I should have put puppy eyes on them, because my baby will have them. Be a man, Shlong, be a godamn man and a human being.
Dart, that's not your mother. That's the name i came up for my ass back in 1986 when I had your mother. I don't know when you were born or anything, but i did have sex with your mother when i was around four or five, and thus my ass was named after your mother. It might be heresay but, you might be my kid. Look into it.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-02-06 18:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Victoria Taylor... MOM!? ... GLALL???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So THAT'S where you went this weekend you cheating whore!!!
Leaving the family to live off dog food because the only other person who knows how to cook it is the dog and it wouldn't share with us! You filthy, filthy, filthy bitch.
Mother's day can't come fast enough; I'm going kill grandma so you don't exist anymore.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-06 18:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:42:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm starting a fund so that you and AJ can have the ceremony that you deserve and health care
all of uber will pitch in
I'm sure of it
I won't. Fuck the mos.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're a good man, badass. This baby deserves a life filled with jokes about his gay parents, and his horribly ridiculous name I gave him (Burger King), which I think is really cool you know, but the kids, they're gonna call him "burger queen" and "barfdog" because of it. He needs everyone's love and support. Do not shun this child, ubersite. We need your money. Send your donations to 1411 Sutherby Lane; that's my drug dealer's address.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm starting a fund so that you and AJ can have the ceremony that you deserve and health care
all of uber will pitch in
I'm sure of it
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:37:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:20:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh huh. I get it now. I get your game.
WELFARE SCAMMER
WELFARE SCAMMER
WELFARE SCAMMER
--------------------------------------
I................I love money I guess, and I thought this post would make me an uberstar! Working so far. Three e-mails begging me for marriage, and one going off about sucking my brain out of my head to get my power, some more insane psycho babble that goes on forever. Funny thing is, that e-mail got sent directly to my mind's eye about an hour ago and now i have this crazy headache and i'm speaking in tongues. Pretty bitchin!
Oh, and aj, i'ts name is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD......bawitaba da bang da bang diggy diggy deedeeedededed upchuck that boogie? How the fuck does that go?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh huh. I get it now. I get your game.
WELFARE SCAMMER
WELFARE SCAMMER
WELFARE SCAMMER
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:19:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You... you what?
You...
....
What was its name, Mike?
WHAT WAS ITS NAME???
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:14:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a minute here! WHEN exactly was the Chicago Ubercon? Sorry GLALL, but you appear to be further along.
So, either you and AJ hooked up a while before Chicago, or there is something you're not telling us.
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64% of doctors say that this statement is conspirital crazyness. just, just absolute lunacy and evil. You are a terrorist. Arrest her, bart. FUCK, you aren't the law. Whatever.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
would you prefer the coat hanger with or without the rust.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:16:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ACTUALLY I....fucking caps-lock. actually i feel a lot better about this, now. As long as aj isn't LYING, right aj? You're not lying, right? right? come on, right? right? right? if you're not lying then I feel a lot better about just shitting this cluster of cells out of my ass in an hour instead of raising it and all that jive.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a minute here! WHEN exactly was the Chicago Ubercon? Sorry GLALL, but you appear to be further along.
So, either you and AJ hooked up a while before Chicago, or there is something you're not telling us.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:13:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:10:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
That shit ain't mine bitch.
I'm sterile.
Thought I toldjoo.
------------------------------
Wait a second......
if.....if this is true.......then there's only......
LISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, wait......
uh........
MUTILATED BUM PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:11:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as much as I would love to, badass, I don't have enough money to fly both of our goofy asses out to Hawaii or wherever guys get married, and I don't think that was aj's intention. We were just laughing, everyone having a good time, then bam, next thing i know i'm in an alley with my pants around my ankles and a bum giving me the business from behind. Then aj comes out of nowhere and rips the guy's dick clean off and sticks the detached penis in his ass as he rams whatever dignity I had straight out of me. Definitely something I'll remember until about 5:30 when i get home and try to kill my child via barbituates.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:10:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That shit ain't mine bitch.
I'm sterile.
Thought I toldjoo.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Paternity test!
Somebody call Montel Williams!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
does AJ intend to make and honest man of you, its really the proper way to handle this
if you have a wedding I'll be the drunk ex that stumbles in and makes a scene during the ceremony and I'll profess my never ending love for one or both of you.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mazel tov
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 16:01:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Details? Like, real-life details? That wouldn't be uber of me.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
already thought about that, badass. I've had bigger things exit my ass before so I'm not worried.
Hey Method, how about you not make fun of my kid, dick? I can't help it if the only sex you get nowadays is with the end of a garden hose.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pictures are always nice, but Shlongy needs DETAILS, dammit.
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:55:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Sweet Jesus, this baby is going to be a mix between a giraffe and a retard
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:54:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well it was bound to happen, love on Uber
I wish the two of you the best in the coming days
To AJ: be happy dude, I hear pregnant bitches like to do it...a lot
To GL: get the paternity test man because if it is AJ's it'll likely be born 4' long
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have a uterus, HV. This was some good-old fashioned butt-baby makin'.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm hoping it's a boy. If I have a girl then I'm giving it to Goodwill. They know what to do with babies.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhhhh...How cute.
I can give the you HV special. A swift kick to your uterus.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:51:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I THINK MY WATER JUST....I THINK I JUST SPILLED MY GLASS OF WATER!!!!! FUCKING AJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET YOUR GODAMN SEED OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Awwww!
I didn't think AJ's sperm was viable.
Are you two hoping for a boy or a girl?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Guess this means I better start drinking heavy and upping the joint intake from 2 to 34 a day.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
BartBart is pregnant?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yup. I'm pregnant as fuck.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-06 15:48:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that your stomach GLALL?