Learning to Walk (2006 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.73 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by WiLL ZoNE (View user info) at 2005-11-15 12:16:11 EST
Learning to Walk.
My parents, unable to throw shit away, always give me stuff; Bags of clothes, old stereo equipment, odd knick-knacks, etc. Most of the time I end up throwing it all away, so in essence my folks are sending their garbage from Long Island to Brooklyn. In the last batch of "gifts" (read: "junk they don't want") my Pops gave me a pair of brand new Nike basketball sneakers. Pearl white...white enough to make all the black guys on the subway jealously stare at my kicks looking for an imperfection.
Now, I've always worn Converse All-Stars...the all-canvas, no support, no frills sneaker. It's the same sneaker worn by "cool" rock bands across the country and the even "cooler" kids who follow them. My dad has worn them since the 60's and growing up, I too always wore them. Through the years I've had most of the ROY G BIV color spectrum, and recently I've been wearing the "flame pattern" ones. Flame Pattern makes me even cooler (just let me believe that, please).
My Pops referred to them as "limousines for the feet." Which I guess was his subliminal way of making me want them because, lets face it, they're the cheapest sneaks on the rack and "Limousines for the feet" make me "hip" and saves Dad a few bucks.
Well, I'm 26 now, and besides the boots and work shoes I've worn through the years, and the occasional pair of Vans, I've worn nothing but Converse All-Stars. The last basketball sneaker I wore regularly were the classic Reebok Blacktops when I was in the 8th Grade (1992-1993).
That is, until last week.
I try on the Nike Basketball sneakers and right off the bat I have to say air-soles and ankle support is a pretty nice sneaker feature. It was like I just put my foot into a tight pillow, or a fat mans ass. I wore them around town for 2 days, and that's when I realized that my feet forgot how to walk. I tripped over my comfortable feet 3 times in 2 days, and for some reason stairs were particularly tricky. There was also the beginning of a stinging pain in my left foot right along the arch. After I wiped the NYC grime from my hands for the third time I got to thinking about sneakers and feet.
The Converse All-Star has strengthened and accustomed my feet to "no support," which I don't see as a bad thing. I would go so far as to suggest that Man wasn't designed to wear all-supporting sneakers. For thousands of years people wore nothing on their tootsies and got along fine, and then for thousands of years after that they just wore a simple sandal, then *BAM* all of a sudden its the late 80's early 90's and everybody is pump-pump-pumping up their sneakers...this is too drastic a jump in footwear comfortability!
The basketball sneaker hurt my feet! It'd probably be different if I was wearing Nike's my whole life, and then put on a pair of Converse All-Stars, but I didn't, so shut up your face.
Another basketball sneaker side effect was the smell of my feet after wearing them. They were slightly stinky, and when I took them off the paint peeled from my walls. This, I'm assuming, is because Basketball sneakers with all their leather and fabric don't got no exhaust holes like the Converse All-Star. My feet can't breathe...so the stink stays inside. It's like a bathroom without a window in a Mexican Restaurant, or Your Mom's box.
This was all info I never told my Dad on the phone the other day. I just said "Thank You." Upon hearing that I was appreciative, he told me he has this other pair of Basketball sneakers that he doesn't want because they make his left foot ache. I smiled, and said I'll take them...the power lines out front can use some character.
Oh Uber, give me back my Limousines for the feet...and now I can design my own!!!! http://www.converse.com/converseone/
Will
They went the way of the Beanie Baby and the Snap Bracelet...Reebok Pump, you will be missed.
User Reviews
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-11-16 18:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chuck Ts rule. In high school, when I had serious skating aspirations, I had a beautiful pair of aquamarine ones, along with a pair of Barney purple ones. I used to mix em: Aquamarine on one foot, Barney purple on the other. I must have looked like a complete tool. Good times.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2005-11-16 10:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:21:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...I'll bet you have more than enough clothing of the "Roy G. Biv" sort... perhaps all the colors in a small strap or band on your clothing or a lapel pin. "
WAS THAT A GAY JOKE!?!?
HAR-HAR-PEENER-PEENER! YOU NAILED ME! YO, TELL YOUR MOMZ I'LL BE THERE AT6PM.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just going to give this a 1, but damnit if the mention of Reebok Blacktops didn't push it up to a 2.
This makes me long for the pair of Jordans I had in 8th grade...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-11-15 23:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always thought Reebok pump was outdone by Asics "Redundant Gimmick" Disc. I never owned either, though, so what would i know.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-11-15 21:23:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Converse Ones are $60 though, while the All-Stars are $20 or less. Yippee.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-11-15 19:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah...I'll bet you have more than enough clothing of the "Roy G. Biv" sort... perhaps all the colors in a small strap or band on your clothing or a lapel pin.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-11-15 15:03:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well said.
but maybe it's just because that particular pair of basketball shoes do not match up with your feet well. try another pair
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-11-15 13:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bo-Bos...
Just a buck ninety-nine.
Bo-Bos...
Make your feet feel fine.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2005-11-15 13:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-11-15 13:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:17:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, this sucked, but it was saved by the classic Converse All Star, or "Chuck Taylors".
I still sport a pair of black hightops when I go see a band in a club.
----------------------------------------
like Journey or Eddie Money?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's like a bathroom without a window in a Mexican Restaurant, or Your Mom's box."
I felt like this was directed at me.
IT WASN'T WAS IT WILL?
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
when I was a kid it just seemed like only the really poor kids had canvas hightops...I think they got them at K-Mart.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by EmptyRobot (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:20:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
i have a thing about shoes
i don't think we are meant to wear them
but, shit gets cold here in jersey
my favorite thing to wear on my feet is rainbows flip flops
----------------
First off, good post. Second, i agree, shoes suck, except for chucky-Ts, lowtop off the walls, and moccasins. Third, flip flops are the devil.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i have a thing about shoes
i don't think we are meant to wear them
but, shit gets cold here in jersey
my favorite thing to wear on my feet is rainbows flip flops
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-15 12:17:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, this sucked, but it was saved by the classic Converse All Star, or "Chuck Taylors".
I still sport a pair of black hightops when I go see a band in a club.